I have a married female friend, and I'm attracted to her.*Warning - graphic language

[SamWilson]

*WARNING* - some graphic sexual talk in this thread*

 

I know this post could've went to another board, but here it is:

 

My female friend of several years is married (she gets plenty of lovin' w/her husband). We are very close, we talk about everything. We talk VERY sexual to each other. We have phone sex. We talk about how it would be if we did have sex. We joke with each other that our friendship is 'dangerous'. We have fooled around but never have had actual sex.

 

I have been telling her that I want more than our usual sex talk and occasional fooling around. She tells me that "I am married, it's not right"...but then she tells me that she can perform oral sex on me, because it's not intercourse. I tell her I want to do the same to her, but she feels that is inappropriate. Wtf? I know.

 

I know I'm wrong for doing any of this, but what is the deal with her? Does she just say "Im married, I cant" to make herself feel better?

 

I'm just confused and talking out loud ...(and stupid - I know, for even being involved in a situation like this)

[Spark1111]

*WARNING* - some graphic sexual talk in this thread*

 

I know this post could've went to another board, but here it is:

 

My female friend of several years is married (she gets plenty of lovin' w/her husband). We are very close, we talk about everything. We talk VERY sexual to each other. We have phone sex. We talk about how it would be if we did have sex. We joke with each other that our friendship is 'dangerous'. We have fooled around but never have had actual sex.

 

I have been telling her that I want more than our usual sex talk and occasional fooling around. She tells me that "I am married, it's not right"...but then she tells me that she can perform oral sex on me, because it's not intercourse. I tell her I want to do the same to her, but she feels that is inappropriate. Wtf? I know.

 

I know I'm wrong for doing any of this, but what is the deal with her? Does she just say "Im married, I cant" to make herself feel better?

 

I'm just confused and talking out loud ...(and stupid - I know, for even being involved in a situation like this)

 

SamWilson. what are you doing?

 

Are you married too? Do you know her husband?

 

You have crossed so many boundaries here; ethical, moral, and even as a friend, well, that friendship is about to go out the window soon.

 

So, I ask again, what are you doing here? And why are you doing it?

 

People think they can handle the mild flirtation, which leads to sexual tension, leads to sexting, leads to phone sex, leads to discussion of real sex, maybe, but maybe not, but usually does.....

 

And when the coming sh##storm rains down on their heads one day, they are shocked and saddened and sometimes even suicidal that they allowed it to all get so out of hand.

 

Forget about the disrespect she has already shown her husband and her relationship.

 

Can't you find a nice single woman to give you phone or real sex?

 

I mean, this is just a disaster waiting to unfold.

 

Or are you one of those guys that just needs to oh-so-forbidden aspect to get your rocks off?

[whichwayisup]

She's using that sexual energy and focussing into her sex life with her husband, spicing it up abit more..

 

And, she's using you too. What a rush it must be..To have a husband at home, a good sex life at home with him, and to have you, to flirt with and feed her ego, make her feel good. She is selfishly using you, not malciously using you..There's a big difference. She has no intention of ever leaving her husband or really taking thing to the next level with you, but she'll give you hints and ideas that maybe "someday" to keep you interested and on your toes.

 

So, what are you getting out of this? Short term, long term? Are you happy? If so, how long can this playful flirting/fooling around go on for, before you want more? Or you get hurt.

 

To me, and this is just my opinion, take it or leave it - But I think you're wasting alot of time and energy on a woman who isn't inlove with you and has no plans on changing things, let alone divorcing her husband to be with you. You could have a woman who isn't married, a single woman who loves only you, only has sex with you... Someone who doesn't go home and share a life with someone else. The choice is yours.

[SamWilson]

SamWilson. what are you doing?

 

Are you married too? Do you know her husband?

 

You have crossed so many boundaries here; ethical, moral, and even as a friend, well, that friendship is about to go out the window soon.

 

So, I ask again, what are you doing here? And why are you doing it?

 

People think they can handle the mild flirtation, which leads to sexual tension, leads to sexting, leads to phone sex, leads to discussion of real sex, maybe, but maybe not, but usually does.....

 

And when the coming sh##storm rains down on their heads one day, they are shocked and saddened and sometimes even suicidal that they allowed it to all get so out of hand.

 

Forget about the disrespect she has already shown her husband and her relationship.

 

Can't you find a nice single woman to give you phone or real sex?

 

I mean, this is just a disaster waiting to unfold.

 

Or are you one of those guys that just needs to oh-so-forbidden aspect to get your rocks off?

 

 

No, Im not married.

Yes, I do know her husband.

We get along very well, even after we messed around with each other (it wasnt awkward).

I do date and talk to a couple of other single girls.

[Emme]

She doesn't have to do anything with you. You fufill her needs. She has a husband, friend, and a soon to be man on the side. She's enjoying you and you are a willing participant. It's a game of lets see how far I can play without having to actually put out. She is going to make you fall for her.

Actually you already have, you posted about her not giving you any on forum. Do you want to be this guy? The one that's needy and begging for sex as though you can't get it else where. Think about what she's doing to you and turning you into. She's not your friend. Think about it.

[whichwayisup]

No, Im not married.

Yes, I do know her husband.

We get along very well, even after we messed around with each other (it wasnt awkward).

I do date and talk to a couple of other single girls.

 

Well, when he finds out, and he WILL, take it like a man and own your part in this. Don't put all the blame on her, even more so since you say you know him, i assume there's abit of a friendship too by the sounds of it.

 

Double betrayal is brutal and people can react out of pure and raw emotion, not rashional due to the pain of the betrayal of a spouse and a so-called friend. Anything can happen when someone is pushed past their emotional limit, so be aware of what you and his wife are doing...Because once he finds out or if you two are caught, I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes......

[SamWilson]

She's using that sexual energy and focussing into her sex life with her husband, spicing it up abit more..

 

And, she's using you too. What a rush it must be..To have a husband at home, a good sex life at home with him, and to have you, to flirt with and feed her ego, make her feel good. She is selfishly using you, not malciously using you..There's a big difference. She has no intention of ever leaving her husband or really taking thing to the next level with you, but she'll give you hints and ideas that maybe "someday" to keep you interested and on your toes.

 

So, what are you getting out of this? Short term, long term? Are you happy? If so, how long can this playful flirting/fooling around go on for, before you want more? Or you get hurt.

 

To me, and this is just my opinion, take it or leave it - But I think you're wasting alot of time and energy on a woman who isn't inlove with you and has no plans on changing things, let alone divorcing her husband to be with you. You could have a woman who isn't married, a single woman who loves only you, only has sex with you... Someone who doesn't go home and share a life with someone else. The choice is yours.

 

 

We have gone to the next level, just not intercourse.

 

Why would she want to keep me on my toes?

 

I do want more. I want to be friends with her like we are now, but with a little more. I guess that would be an affair.

 

I know she isnt planning on divorcing her husband, and that isnt my intention here.

 

*I see other folks here highlight and reply to specific sentences, how do I do that??

[Feelin Frisky]

If you want advice I'd say to knock it off. She's already told you where you stand and she's not going to lave him for you. I suppose you could stay on "friendly" terms but phone sex is really inappropriate and her giving you head is ridiculous if she thinks that's not sex and not going to complicate things further. I suggest that you just accept that you can't have her and start finding someone you CAN have. Good luck.

[Spark1111]

We have gone to the next level, just not intercourse.

 

Why would she want to keep me on my toes?

 

I do want more. I want to be friends with her like we are now, but with a little more. I guess that would be an affair.

 

I know she isnt planning on divorcing her husband, and that isnt my intention here.

 

*I see other folks here highlight and reply to specific sentences, how do I do that??

 

Because she is selfish and you are fullfilling a need of her's. You make her feel, who knows? Sexy? Desirable? Alleviating her boredom? Spicing up her life?

 

What selfish need of your"s is she fulfilling? Friend with benefits?

 

And don't "guess" it is an affair. It is most definitely an affair that you are in.

 

It's a secret from her spouse. It has crossed every relationship boundary. It is definitely an affair.

 

Want him to either commit suicide; cause him the greatest pain he has ever felt; divorce her, cause her the greatest pain she has ever felt; or come after you with homicidal rage?

 

Keep sliding sown this slippery slope thinking only of your needs.

[Irishlove]

She sounds like the type who would feel quilty and go run and tell her husband and then where will you be? Personally, I wouldn't touch her.

[bentnotbroken]

She sounds like the type who would feel quilty and go run and tell her husband and then where will you be? Personally, I wouldn't touch her.

:eek:Wow someone who is classified as a "type" because they might have a conscious(if she is playing with him she hasn't grown one yet). What is the world coming to? Not integrity I hope.

[Irishlove]

:eek:Wow someone who is classified as a "type" because they might have a conscious(if she is playing with him she hasn't grown one yet). What is the world coming to? Not integrity I hope.

lol True she hasn't said anything yet but it just seems like she would. I'm just saying he should play it safe and avoid her.

[donnamaybe]

:eek:Wow someone who is classified as a "type" because they might have a conscious(if she is playing with him she hasn't grown one yet). What is the world coming to? Not integrity I hope.

I kind of got that impression as well. "...the type..." made it sound like that particular type was a negative. Although, since she's already playing around, she's a "type" already, for sure.