Rose1977 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I honestly didn't see any sarcasm or jealousy in this thread at all. I think it's a fun thread. My favorite material gift is my Tiffany's ring because everytime we would walk by Tiffany's I would go in and look at it and try it on so he surprised me with it. Technically it looks like an engagement ring, but I wear it on my right hand. It's my favorite ring in the world and when we do get engaged I don't even want a different one, maybe I will just tell him to get me a different ring for my right hand and move my current one to my left LOL. My favorite non-material gift is the way he loves my son and gets along with my ex-husband for the sake of me and my son. He has worked so hard to create a good relationship for all of us and gain the trust of my ex-husband. I am grateful that three adults in this situation can all get along so well despite the fact that other people think it odd that we all go out to dinner together with my son after school events and sporting events etc.... I appreciate all of the hard work my BF had put into creating a healthy and loving environment for my son. Daisy, if you are happy, I am happy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Is this not the OW FORUM? I asked a simple question about gifts people have received. Alls I got mainly was SARCASM! Only 3 or 4 people actually responded to my question! And you didn't either! Don't you get nice gifts? It doesn't seem to me that you are interested in the gifts us wives get from out husbands as you haven't responded with kindness to those answers. You just jumped to calling those who responded bitter. But, since you specifically asked me, I will tell you. The best gift my husband has ever given me, himself, our family and friends is his commitment to being the best husband father and friend he can be. I have gotten the jewels, flowers, cars, houses, etc, but nothing compares to the fact that he acknowledges his addictive personally and is committed to work the program each and every day. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I honestly didn't see any sarcasm or jealousy in this thread at all. I think it's a fun thread. My favorite material gift is my Tiffany's ring because everytime we would walk by Tiffany's I would go in and look at it and try it on so he surprised me with it. Technically it looks like an engagement ring, but I wear it on my right hand. It's my favorite ring in the world and when we do get engaged I don't even want a different one, maybe I will just tell him to get me a different ring for my right hand and move my current one to my left LOL. My favorite non-material gift is the way he loves my son and gets along with my ex-husband for the sake of me and my son. He has worked so hard to create a good relationship for all of us and gain the trust of my ex-husband. I am grateful that three adults in this situation can all get along so well despite the fact that other people think it odd that we all go out to dinner together with my son after school events and sporting events etc.... I appreciate all of the hard work my BF had put into creating a healthy and loving environment for my son. Daisy, if you are happy, I am happy for you. Rose, it's nice when adults act like adults. The Cartier Love ring is a great right hand ring and would go nicely opposite your Tiffany ring. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 It doesn't seem to me that you are interested in the gifts us wives get from out husbands as you haven't responded with kindness to those answers. You just jumped to calling those who responded bitter. Yup, no responses to my posts. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 My H brought home flowers 2 nights ago. Was talking to a friend of mine lastnight and she asked me " what did he do? My H never brings home flowers unless he's done something stupid (broken something of hers or made a mess in the house, lol)" I just told her, nothing, sometimes he just comes home with flowers to put a smile on my face." Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Yup, no responses to my posts. I just realized I made a typo and said "out" husbands. I guess I was thinking about Bent's xH when I did that. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 My H brought home flowers 2 nights ago. Was talking to a friend of mine lastnight and she asked me " what did he do? My H never brings home flowers unless he's done something stupid (broken something of hers or made a mess in the house, lol)" I just told her, nothing, sometimes he just comes home with flowers to put a smile on my face." Those are the best kind of gifts. It's nice to know that he wants to make you smile for no reason other than he likes to see you smile. Link to post Share on other sites
Rose1977 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Rose, it's nice when adults act like adults. The Cartier Love ring is a great right hand ring and would go nicely opposite your Tiffany ring. HN, get out of my head! LOL, that is exactly the one I was looking at. I really expected the Tiffany's ring for my engagement ring, but I don't think we are getting engaged for awhile, so I think he wanted to save himself from the torture of having to walk into Tiffany's on a weekly basis which is on the block he works on - so we were there a lot Yes, I am very grateful that we all can get along. It was hard work on all of our parts but it is so worth it. The funny thing is, we deal with a lot of judgement - people find it strange that we all get along so well. Last year we all went to the beach together and my BF's friend told him it's not normal and I must be sleeping with my XH . Funny, b/c we didn't slee together much when we were married, why start now . It's like people can't handle it, they want to see fighting and yelling. Last year they both coached my son's baseball team. I'm very grateful my son doesn't have to grow up with fighting and jealousy. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I just realized I made a typo and said "out" husbands. I guess I was thinking about Bent's xH when I did that. Ha haaaa! Good one, HN! Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 HN, get out of my head! LOL, that is exactly the one I was looking at. I really expected the Tiffany's ring for my engagement ring, but I don't think we are getting engaged for awhile, so I think he wanted to save himself from the torture of having to walk into Tiffany's on a weekly basis which is on the block he works on - so we were there a lot Yes, I am very grateful that we all can get along. It was hard work on all of our parts but it is so worth it. The funny thing is, we deal with a lot of judgement - people find it strange that we all get along so well. Last year we all went to the beach together and my BF's friend told him it's not normal and I must be sleeping with my XH . Funny, b/c we didn't slee together much when we were married, why start now . It's like people can't handle it, they want to see fighting and yelling. Last year they both coached my son's baseball team. I'm very grateful my son doesn't have to grow up with fighting and jealousy. Sounds like a healthy divorce. Actually, most of the couples I know that are divorced with kids have been able to do the same. My H got me the Love ring for my birthday a couple of years ago. He gave it to me when we visited the Eiffel Tower. It was very special, but still doesn't compare to the lifestyle commitment he has made. Actions will always trump material gifts IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Rose1977 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 (edited) Sounds like a healthy divorce. Actually, most of the couples I know that are divorced with kids have been able to do the same. My H got me the Love ring for my birthday a couple of years ago. He gave it to me when we visited the Eiffel Tower. It was very special, but still doesn't compare to the lifestyle commitment he has made. Actions will always trump material gifts IMO. Totally agree with the bolded. If it weren't for my son, the best gift would absolutely be the commitment he made to me and the changes he made when he realized how horridly his cheating had affected me. When I look back on it, I don't know how we made it through, and it's easy for me now to take for granted all the changes he made, but he really worked his a** off to save this R. *edit* - Forgot to add I am soooo jealous you have been to the Eiffel Tower!!!! Edited April 20, 2011 by Rose1977 Had to add something :) Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 *edit* - Forgot to add I am soooo jealous you have been to the Eiffel Tower!!!! Yeah, too bad it was the one in Las Vegas. Just kidding. It was a very romantic gesture, but it was crowded as many tourist attractions are. Still, a wonderful memory. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ( this may sound hokey but it's the truth) we are very "non-materialistic" and save our extra money for our kids educaion, so our gifts to each other aren't usually material things the best gift my sweetheart ( who is my husband) gave me is hard to put my finger on. But the two that come to mind are: (a) our 3 children OMG, I totally agree. Our kids are the best gift ever! And I also agree that it is more important to make sure they get the best we can give them. I would give up any and all material things if it was in the best interest of our children. So glad to hear everything was okay with your H. I can't imagine how stressful that was for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 My xH gave me the gift of seeing what true and deep love really is...20 years later my xMM gave me the realization I can still have it. I've been lucky to love 2 men so completely. There was plenty of hurt but I wouldn't change any of it for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Hi! My Sexy Studmuffin was in ;)! He bought me the sweetest present this weekend! It was a gold locket with some diamonds on it! What girl doesn't just love diamonds! In it was the sweetest note! It read, "to the sweetest cookie I love to eat":love: What's the sweetest present your guy ever got u? I guess I find it sad that you find this is enough for you. Your earlier thread you ask how often people spend with their AP. And now this. Is all you get the occasional weekend of sex and a locket? I know you mean to celebrate this gift but all it did was make me feel horribly bad for you. And do you really get so little that when he gives you a locket its cause to celebrate - something to be proud of? That is just so heartbreaking. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Daisy - I am so glad you love your necklace it sounds very nice! And I understand you point, one would think that the since this is called OM/OW it would imply your perimeters but . . . . The best gift? You know I am not sure. I have received so many, tangible and intangible. The most useful the Ugg slippers he bought me for my cold feet. The most romantic, our first trip together that he planned. Oh wait, or my last birthday at the Ritz! But really the best gift is his heart and love and every day the actions that remind me how much this man loves me. Yeah . . . that is the best one of all. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I guess I find it sad that you find this is enough for you. Your earlier thread you ask how often people spend with their AP. And now this. Is all you get the occasional weekend of sex and a locket? I know you mean to celebrate this gift but all it did was make me feel horribly bad for you. And do you really get so little that when he gives you a locket its cause to celebrate - something to be proud of? That is just so heartbreaking. Why would this be heart breaking? Did she state this was the only gift? I am sorry if gifts in a relationship with you is so assumed that you don't see the need to celebrate them. That is heart breaking for me. I am grateful for everything that he does for me and celebrate each one. I refuse to take them for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 It makes me happy to see how many people consider actions as gifts from the heart. When we first got married the only "gifts" we could afford were of the nonmaterial type. Today those are the gifts I cherish most. A simple email, text or call to tell me I'm being thought of makes my day. I know that my H feels the same when I reciprocate. Jewels, flowers, etc are nice, but it's the actions and communication that really make or break a relationship IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 And I understand you point, one would think that the since this is called OM/OW it would imply your perimeters but . . . . She opened it up to BW's by asking me, a BW, directly. So I, and others, answered. Nothing implied or said that limited this thread to OW's.:confused:: Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 No her OP was not directed to you specifically. Yes she was vague in "guy" stance but really the tone turned, as it is apt to do here, by jthorne's comment which was not needed. I am sure Daisy is fine with anyone gushing but the pointless posts are those taking potshots at her gushes. Why, when this is OW/OM do others feel the need. . . you know not worth it; it is so redundant here. My question, why not gush over on Marriage? I wouldn't gush at about my husband on this forum when I was married. Just like I wouldn't gush about my husband over on LD. There is really no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 No her OP was not directed to you specifically. Yes she was vague in "guy" stance but really the tone turned, as it is apt to do here, by jthorne's comment which was not needed. I am sure Daisy is fine with anyone gushing but the pointless posts are those taking potshots at her gushes. Why, when this is OW/OM do others feel the need. . . you know not worth it; it is so redundant here. My question, why not gush over on Marriage? I wouldn't gush at about my husband on this forum when I was married. Just like I wouldn't gush about my husband over on LD. There is really no reason. Well, I didn't talk about my H and the gifts he gives me until she specifically asked me. But, since you asked why I posted, I will tell you. Because I'm waiting for feedback from a client and I have some time on my hands to post. Is that a good enough reason for you? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I have to wonder why we have to "divide" our happiness into categories. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Why would this be heart breaking? Did she state this was the only gift? I am sorry if gifts in a relationship with you is so assumed that you don't see the need to celebrate them. That is heart breaking for me. I am grateful for everything that he does for me and celebrate each one. I refuse to take them for granted. All I can do is post/comment on the information given. I must have missed where she posted about all her other gifts - can you provide a link or quote those to me please? Otherwise, this response is little more than argumentative snarkiness which adds nothing to healthy debate/discussion and instead attempts to demean the poster (me). Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I have to wonder why we have to "divide" our happiness into categories. And I have to wonder why some "others" feel the need to critique posts, as to what is needed and what is not. After 5 years, I would hope that a man saw me as something more than just a "cookie." That's just my my view. I DID recall saying that what was meaningful to me might not be meaningful to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 And I have to wonder why some "others" feel the need to critique posts, as to what is needed and what is not. After 5 years, I would hope that a man saw me as something more than just a "cookie." That's just my my view. I DID recall saying that what was meaningful to me might not be meaningful to someone else. Right. We can only post from our own experiences, and we are all different. I'm happy for Daisy. She obviously feels the locket is special. IMO, I agree with those who have said they would want more out of a relationship, but that's just me (and those others as well). I can still accept and be happy for someone whose needs and desires are different from mine. Link to post Share on other sites
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