How do you feel about being individualistic?

[orangelady]

Do you know of any friends or family who you can really say are individualistic? Is there also a form of false individualism?

 

 

I have this friend of mine. He is really outspoken, smart and outgoing. However, I tend to find him trying so hard to to be somebody very different. He's not the only one. I see it in a few other people too. I don't know, I guess this is because I've gone back to University lately and been noticing how people dress, talk, behave and what their interests are. For example, this guy, he'd come in completely different outfits every week that it really shocks everyone. Few weeks ago, he came wearing a blue wig. The other week, it was orange and dressed in a tie and white dress shirt when everyone else casually comes to class in jeans and shirt. Today, he came in a soldier's uniform.

 

 

Then he'd tell me that he loves to speak in a British-American accent. (He is Asian). While my friend here is very confident, and smart, and likes to talk so loud that the next state in our country could hear him, I wonder is there a way to know why they behave this way?

 

He also told me once "If someone is not a rocker, I wish they didn't dress like one."

 

Man........

 

Then there is this other girl. She's very hardworking, studious and pretty smart. However, I notice she wears nothing but sports suit. Like 3/4 tracks with sports top, the whole sports gear thing. Then one day, when the lecturer asked everyone what they aspired to be, she said "Sporty Spice."

 

Then I thought "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh"

 

So...I don't know, what do you think? Are they 'losing' ourselves to someone else? Are these people really being original? Or they're just so desperate to separate themselves from the crowd? Are they insecure? Is THIS really them? Or...?

 

One day I was also sitting with a group of guys and they were picking on this guy who is wears specs, cropped hair, a polo and decent jeans. They said to him "Geez, your hair and your specs make you look so naive. You look like someone who is buried in their books all day." Then another guy with long hair said, "Yes that's exactly why I grew my hair out and dress differently. Ever since then, people don't think I'm so naive anymore."

 

 

Man, I can't tell you how I appreciate a man or a guy with short, neat, cropped hair who dresses in a nice shirt, or polos and decent jeans. No hanging down below their waist or anything crazy like that.

Edited April 19, 2011 by orangelady

[orangelady]

He's either using to get attention(from just anyone), or he's trying to get women to comment to him, on how he dresses, and from there, try to pick them up. That's a trick the PUA use. They call it 'peacocking'. Its a way of making the women divert their eyes from other men, and put those eyes on the guy instead. He's probably going to try to be charming(the British accent).

 

Yeah, you're probably right. And guess what? It works. It actually works because when I'm walking beside him or sitting with him. EVERYone checks him out. Girls AND guys. They really look at him. But of course, I don't know what they're thinking of him. But he does stand out and people remember him. Oh...that guy!

 

He's a PUA or a PUA wannabe.

 

What's a PUA?

[Ross MwcFan]

PUA = pick up artist.

 

I agree that it sounds as though he's trying to get attention. I would also say that he sounds quite mentally unstable too.

[Star Gazer]

There are people who are truly unique individuals, and there are people who try to be.

 

The posers talk about what makes them different and why their choices are cool. The truly unique people just...are.

[Eclypse]

Well I would say I'm a non-conformist. I know what I like and I'm not afraid to tell someone what I really think.

 

Id say I'm a purist in many ways. I listen to music made with real instruments (none of that new autotune stuff), I don't watch tv (consider it to be a waste of time), and I'll only drive a manual transmission.

 

However I guess I do try and imitate Mick Jagger when walking and talking. I just consider him so cool. And most of the people my age don't even know who he is so I guess it's all for nothing

[orangelady]

There are people who are truly unique individuals, and there are people who try to be.

 

The posers talk about what makes them different and why their choices are cool. The truly unique people just...are.

 

Gawd, you worded it so well. True that. That's what I'm trying to say. Man, honestly, I'm not too concerned if people like Pearl Jam or Justin Biebier if that's what they really like. But I can't stand people who hate anything just because it's popular. And then they'd tell you that they only listen to music that you've not heard of even from the jungle.

[orangelady]

However I guess I do try and imitate Mick Jagger when walking and talking. I just consider him so cool. And most of the people my age don't even know who he is so I guess it's all for nothing

 

Awww hahaha it's okay. I like people who are just themselves.

[orangelady]

Man is the measure of all things, and anything is acceptable in life.

 

I think that as people have different personalities, some simply don't opt to follow/adhere to the mainstream. And there is nothing wrong in that, since conformity depends on one's own value system (at least in how rigid a person believes in it). Another thing is that normal is largely artificially constructed, since normal depends on social norms and whims.

 

I wouldn't say it's 'wrong'. But in my opinion, I have met many who try too hard to be different that it's a put off. At least to me, that is insecurity. I don't mind a regular joe who listens to mainstream music, and is into the norm etc as long as he is just not faking who he is and trying so hard to stand out in the crowd and is an attention whore.

[Feelin Frisky]

The truth is that everyone is unique, it's just that society doesn't embrace uniqueness and sends us through a processing machine in our youth which fails to address our social development and how we establish "identity". People therefore just default into varying "types" who react to their situations. Some want the comfort and quiet of being inconspicuous and some want everything to be about them all the time. Others only appear to conform because they don't think that dress or appearance is the battle--they have bigger pursuits and just do what gets them through the moment. Personally I see the "loud" dresser as the most likely insecurest. They seem to be unclear about who they are and how they relate and therefore choose to make each day a "proving ground" to sell something that may not be true. The wiser person doesn't "sell"--he or she "markets" themselves by instead doing things that earn merit rather than trying to convince people they deserve merit without deed.

[orangelady]

I agree that it can signal insecurity. But to me, anybody can do anything, so it's not my issue, nor place to criticise/scrutinise.

 

Again, I am not stopping them from doing anything. They can do anything, as to I can think anything of them. This is just an opinion thread. lol.

 

It's funny that a lot of people on LS posts stuff about not being able to find someone, and I've seen most of you come down hard on them for not having confidence. You criticize and scrutinize them like HELL. You guys suddenly become the biggest bullies. You guys blame these people for not having someone because of their CONFIDENCE. Yet when it comes to individualism, you say "oh it's okay...they can do whatever." lol

[orangelady]

They seem to be unclear about who they are and how they relate and therefore choose to make each day a "proving ground" to sell something that may not be true. The wiser person doesn't "sell"--he or she "markets" themselves by instead doing things that earn merit rather than trying to convince people they deserve merit without deed.

 

Excellent point!