Lost in the moment - how can you tell when you've met the "right" one?

[waterbaloon]

how can you tell when you found the right one to marry, and your not just "lost in the moment."

[Tony T]

Finding the right person to marry is not a "moment" thing. It takes a lot of being around that person...and knowing if they are the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

 

If you are dating now and looking for the right person, I hope you will do a lot of reading and research on this subject. The answer to your question is far more lengthy that the space we have here to devote to it. But I will tell you one thing, when you finally make the decision, you will feel it's right...you will know it's right.

[Wolvesbaned]

Sorry to be the voice of doom and gloom but, "when you finally make the decision, you will feel it's right...you will know it's right" --doesn't always prove to be true.

 

We married young (early 20s) but believe me, we thought we were a whole lot more aware than people even generations older than us. We thought we had it all down, why there are so many divorces, why older couples seem so unhappy, the importance of sharing, equality, etc. And after all the talk and understanding and plans back then, it's not working for us right now.

 

I think in general our logic made sense back then, we really don't know much more about the world than we did then, but it wasn't that. We didn't take change into account & that we were barely learning about ourselves. It doesn't mean we are completely different people back then, just that the differences and expectations of each other now (after change) has worn down our core.

 

Someone on here posted some great advice for those that are thinking of marriage: ask yourself what exactly do you expect from it, why do you want to do it, what your definitions of a husband and wife are and how that fits into your future goals and dreams.

 

A few years ago all we asked was the "why marriage and why me in particular" and it all seemed to make "perfect sense" --we were in love! When times get rough, its not about the vague definition of "love" that will keep you together, because it won't feel like love anymore! You'll need concrete understandings (that you agreed upon) to be your foundation and guide to help you through it.

[Thinkalot]

Top advice Wolvesbaned.