need

[innu]

hi all...I am very confused at this stage in my life....i need some suggestion....pls help me....

 

i am in love with a boy for more than 10months now....we were classmates but never were in great touch...i have always been a shy girl who never interacted much with guys...but with time,now i m more independent and can make friendhsip with guys easily and feel comfortable.

We became friends through FB,i mean we knew eachother from school days but never interacted during those time....but from last 1 year we are constantly in touch thru chats,mails,calls,messages.....

 

we started chating in the month of april and fell in love by august.he told me that in november and from that time,we are together....but in LONG DISTANCE relationship....he cam eto meet me in the month of jan...it was a plesant day...it was my first date with a guy i love him a lot.....

 

but with time we had so many prblms....initially he used to talk so much,s much time on chat n call but with time he reduced the rate....

 

anyways it was going fine,ut in the month of feb when he got his exam results he got less marks....and then that particular day he started avoiding me like anything.he told he cant concentrate on his studies and vent out so much on me....after some time,when i talked to him,that y u told all this...he told he needs time and wll be back to normal....then we were normal again....but after that he is always saying me that please dont be too serious for this relationship...

 

what ever he says....we are still very close...we do video chats,share prblms...talk abt every other possible thing.....now he has come down to my place for his internship....but he is so busy with his work that we hardly mee during the weekends....its normal since i am also wrkng and he is also busy thruout the day.....now when he is here,i asked him what abt our relationship...how much serious is he for this and all...then he told me that he cant commit about this....as of now he loves me but a long wait of 3 yrs might be,he may like sm1 else or we may still be close like this..........

 

 

with regular meetings....i am going very very close to him,both physically n emotionally...pls suggest how to handle our relationship...i m quite serius,but not sure about my boyfriend....he seems to love me so much but he is commitment phobic....he has not told any of his friends that now he is into a relationship....only few of his frnds knw abt me n our relationship....he says his frnds wll tease a lot,which he doesnt like much....he is very ambitious and wants a lot of space....i never interfere in his space...what ever he does i have no prblm...bt i m not sure wheathe ri shuld give him chance and continue this relationship or shuld stop here...at this point otherwise i wll go more close to him and then if nothing happens wll b sad lik anthing

 

pls suggest.............

[souper_caitlin]

It sounds like you have already gotten very close to him, and have let him know that you're committed for the long run--you know what you want out of a relationship and care about him very much.

 

Now, the ball is in his court. You've already put yourself out there--he has to be the one to let you know whether he's in or out of the relationship. It sounds like he's had a lot of changes in his life lately that have made him doubt the value of long-term commitment. It is quite possible that he cannot handle that type of relationship right now, despite how you two feel for each other. And although you may try to get closer to him, he has to be the one to figure out his feelings and let you know.

 

Try to establish where you two are right now and where you see yourselves in the future--what are your short-term and long-term life goals? Can you see yourselves together in a year? Three years?

 

Alternatively, you could lower the commitment level--it seems to me that this is where he is heading.

[innu]

thanxx a lot.....