Women, If You were a Man, Would You Marry?

[musemaj11]

All the time we hear women whining about their men not wanting to get married. But it seems to me that women are so blinded by their own want that they fail to see from the men's point of view.

 

When you expect a man to marry you, you are basically asking him to make at least these three sacrifices:

1) By marrying, he takes on the risk that there is 50-50 chance he is going to lose half of his wealth in the future.

 

2) By marrying, he restricts himself to having sex with only one woman for the rest of his life in a world where a man has complete sexual freedom.

 

3) Since in nearly all marriages the man is richer and the woman is more beautiful, by marrying, a man agrees to enter a disadvantageous long term deal in which chances are his financial value will only rise overtime while her physical value will only steadily decline. In other words, marriage is good investment for the woman and poor investment for the man.

So imagine for a minute that you are a man. With this knowledge in mind, honestly would you want to get married? Edited April 20, 2011 by musemaj11

[dreamingoftigers]

Yes I would, but I would very very selective about the character of my mate and not so much her looks. Men seem to get very trapped by this.

 

I would watch how my woman handled and took care of herself and her money.

 

I would observe my woman's family relationships.

 

I would see how she responds when I tell her that something is important to me.

 

I would see what she asks of me.

 

I wouldn't feel restricted by only having sex with one person, I would feel honoured that someone of such character would sign up to only have sex with me.

 

I would treat my wife with respect and love and that in itself would be a worthwhile investment for a long and successful relationship.

 

If she threw that aside I would view it as her loss for choosing some of "my wealth" over my long-term support etc.

 

As a man I would not just marry anyone that wanted to.

[StoneCold]

interesting thread OP...but know that when you ask women to think and rationalize like men you sometimes get some stuff thats a little "off" (and vice versa)

 

for example...

 

 

I wouldn't feel restricted by only having sex with one person, I would feel honoured that someone of such character would sign up to only have sex with me.

 

Thats the old.... "I'm doing him a favour by letting him have sex with me" attitude many women have

[dreamingoftigers]

interesting thread OP...but know that when you ask women to think and rationalize like men you sometimes get some stuff thats a little "off" (and vice versa)

 

for example...

 

 

 

Thats the old.... "I'm doing him a favour by letting him have sex with me" attitude many women have

 

No, quite frankly I view it as a high compliment that those that marry reserve themselves for one another. Gender neutral completely. A guy with low partner count is one that I view as more valuable with all other things being equal.

[Lauriebell82]

Well it's difficult for me to think like a man because of course I am not.

 

The only suggestion I could offer that, is while these 3 concerns are valid and paint the disadvantage towards the man, millions of men STILL get married. So I would assume that if a man choses to marry, it is because he willing to RISK all 3 of these things because he is in love with the woman and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. In other words, married men probably feel that the benefits out way the potential consequences in regards to marriage.

[dreamingoftigers]

As a man it would be healthier to marry as well.

 

I would rather live longer.

[StoneCold]

As a man it would be healthier to marry as well.

 

I would rather live longer.

 

I'd rather live the life I want and die a little sooner than live a longer life full of compromise after compromise

[Lauriebell82]

I'd rather live the life I want and die a little sooner than live a longer life full of compromise after compromise

 

Yes, but as I see it, a healthy and happy marriage is one in which both parties don't see compromising as a NEGATIVE but a POSITIVE. I would think that someone not willing to compromise could be considered selfish. So for someone who feels that way, marriage is NOT for them.

[dreamingoftigers]

If I wanted to get married, then living outside of being married would feel like a comprimise in the biggest sense.

 

All adults have to be able to make comprimises all over the place even just to live functionally in a society.

 

Comprimise isn't so scary when you are investing in a life with someone. IMHO.

 

Marriage is not (just, only, necessarily, or inclusive of) a drudgery of comprimise and sexual frustration.

 

Married people tend to get laid twice as much on average and are healthier overall.

 

This isn't to say that marriage is for everyone, but as a man or woman I would play the numbers and take a stab at what would give me the happier life overall. I would actually guess marriage and watch both myself and any potential partners to look for the best odds in having that happy marriage.

 

So much about life is playing the odds, something tells me that as a man I could do it even more rationally.

[StoneCold]

Yes, but as I see it, a healthy and happy marriage is one in which both parties don't see compromising as a NEGATIVE but a POSITIVE. I would think that someone not willing to compromise could be considered selfish. So for someone who feels that way, marriage is NOT for them.

 

 

outside of your own children...how is compromise positive? its nil effect at best

[StoneCold]

All adults have to be able to make comprimises all over the place even just to live functionally in a society.

 

sure..but marriage takes it to a whole other level

 

Marriage is not (just, only, necessarily, or inclusive of) a drudgery of comprimise and sexual frustration.

 

I dunno tiger... the stats seem to say otherwise

 

Married people tend to get laid twice as much

 

lol at what point in the marriage? (honeymoon doesnt count). Not to mention that theres something to be said for quality over quantity

 

This isn't to say that marriage is for everyone, but as a man or woman I would play the numbers and take a stab at what would give me the happier life overall. I would actually guess marriage and watch both myself and any potential partners to look for the best odds in having that happy marriage.

 

So much about life is playing the odds, something tells me that as a man I could do it even more rationally.

 

you're right....play the numbers and stats.

 

Problem is the numbers are terrible

[Lauriebell82]

outside of your own children...how is compromise positive? its nil effect at best

 

Well, the point I was trying to make was that compromise doesn't seem like a chore or annoyance if you are happily married and love each other. A healthy marriage is about give and take. I think for those who have beliefs similar to your's, this concept will probably be foreign and difficult to accept. To each their own.

[dreamingoftigers]

outside of your own children...how is compromise positive? its nil effect at best

 

Because every human being on the planet who wishes to have a relationship with another in any way shape or form with a healthy dynamic does it. So therefore the comprimise is an investment in the future of the relationship be it marriage or a friend or the pizza guy (I mean just delivering pizza, no porno reference to it).

[Lauriebell82]

Because every human being on the planet who wishes to have a relationship with another in any way shape or form with a healthy dynamic does it. So therefore the comprimise is an investment in the future of the relationship be it marriage or a friend or the pizza guy (I mean just delivering pizza, no porno reference to it).

 

My pizza guy is not attractive at all! Maybe if we compromised and he lost the hat.. (j/k)

 

Anyway, I agree with this, like I said though, there will ALWAYS be those synical individuals who scorn marriage and try everything in their power to discredit it. Oh well!

[StoneCold]

Because every human being on the planet who wishes to have a relationship with another in any way shape or form with a healthy dynamic does it. So therefore the comprimise is an investment in the future of the relationship be it marriage or a friend or the pizza guy (I mean just delivering pizza, no porno reference to it).

 

well to each his own

 

I see too many compromises as not good and any relationship that thrives off of excessive compromises is a ticking time bomb.

 

 

IMHO marriage is far too much compromising

[Lauriebell82]

well to each his own

 

I see too many compromises as not good and any relationship that thrives off of excessive compromises is a ticking time bomb.

 

 

IMHO marriage is far too much compromising

 

And you are completely entitled to your opinion! If marriage isn't for you, then don't do it. Just a tip though, it's probably not the greatest idea to preach to those who are happily married and cherish marriage though...

[StoneCold]

there will ALWAYS be those synical individuals who scorn marriage and try everything in their power to discredit it. Oh well!

 

Well Lauriebell you can call it whatever you want to make yourself feel better but the proof is in the pudding.... look around you failed marriages and divorces are rampant...its quatifiable

[StoneCold]

And you are completely entitled to your opinion! If marriage isn't for you, then don't do it. Just a tip though, it's probably not the greatest idea to preach to those who are happily married and cherish marriage though...

 

its a discussion board...I'm discussing with reference to my opinion.

 

I cant do that?

[Lauriebell82]

its a discussion board...I'm discussing with reference to my opinion.

 

I cant do that?

 

Of course you can do that, you are completely entitled to your opinion on the subject as are those who are happily married and disagree with you. I just meant that you aren't going to be able to CONVINCE us that marriage is a negative thing and terrible for men, as we will not be able to convince you of that either.

 

Discussion is one thing, I just feel as though you are trying to CONVINCE more then discuss. I could be wrong though...

[dreamingoftigers]

well to each his own

 

I see too many compromises as not good and any relationship that thrives off of excessive compromises is a ticking time bomb.

 

IMHO marriage is far too much compromising

 

I think that the majority of relationships are ticking time bombs. It all depends on how internally balanced one is as well.

[StoneCold]

Of course you can do that, you are completely entitled to your opinion on the subject as are those who are happily married and disagree with you. I just meant that you aren't going to be able to CONVINCE us that marriage is a negative thing and terrible for men, as we will not be able to convince you of that either.

 

Discussion is one thing, I just feel as though you are trying to CONVINCE more then discuss. I could be wrong though...

 

with regards to the above bolded....

 

you are

 

I wasnt pushing my point anymore than you and tiger were... I was simply responding to your comments and vice versa. but I'm used to it though...as soon as you dont have a popular opinion you get labelled an aggressor

[Tony T]

I think that the majority of relationships are ticking time bombs. It all depends on how internally balanced one is as well.

 

This is a little scary to think about. How many people are internally balanced. What does a marriage that's a "ticking time bomb" look and feel like? I think I can guess.

[Lauriebell82]

I think that the majority of relationships are ticking time bombs. It all depends on how internally balanced one is as well.

 

Well the statistics (which aren't always correct IMO) say 50/50, that's not quite majority. I understand where you are coming from though, if you have a negative view of marriage, then you WILL think of it in this nature.

 

IMO though, married couples need to keep in mind that everything isn't ALWAYS going to be perfect 24/7, and accepting that this is so actually HELPS marital satisfaction. If you are constantly on the negative aspects, then how can you enjoy the positive or even EXPERIENCE any positive ones. And then when things go sour (usually instigated by the wife) the man seems to view marriage as the 3 negative consequences mentioned in the original post.

[Lauriebell82]

with regards to the above bolded....

 

you are

 

I wasnt pushing my point anymore than you and tiger were... I was simply responding to your comments and vice versa. but I'm used to it though...as soon as you dont have a popular opinion you get labelled an aggressor

 

Okay, I'm wrong. I don't think you're an aggressor per say, we just have a different view on the issue. It happens.

[threebyfate]

My husband would look like ass in a skirt, although he's got nice, long legs and a great ass!

 

Okay, I'm hooked. Sure, if I were the man and he was the woman, not only would I do him, I'd marry him (as long as he shaved his legs, arms, part of his chest, face)!