Women, If You were a Man, Would You Marry?

[Holding-On]

All the time we hear women whining about their men not wanting to get married. But it seems to me that women are so blinded by their own want that they fail to see from the men's point of view.

 

When you expect a man to marry you, you are basically asking him to make at least these three sacrifices:

So imagine for a minute that you are a man. With this knowledge in mind, honestly would you want to get married?

 

For what it is worth, my husband was very keen to marry me. I was not so keen to get married.

 

1) By marrying, he takes on the risk that there is 50-50 chance he is going to lose half of his wealth in the future.

My husband was in debt and making very little. His earning potential was good but so was mine. We were both engineers.

If I were my husband I would marry a woman like me with a good income and work ethic. In fact my husband made a point of looking for someone like that.

 

2) By marrying, he restricts himself to having sex with only one woman for the rest of his life in a world where a man has complete sexual freedom.

New word for you: polyamory. We have an open marriage. This does NOT have to be a condition. Plus women have complete sexual freedom (at least in the west) and thus are giving up multiple men and their attention also. So it seems like a wash.

 

3) Since in nearly all marriages the man is richer and the woman is more beautiful, by marrying, a man agrees to enter a disadvantageous long term deal in which chances are his financial value will only rise overtime while her physical value will only steadily decline. In other words, marriage is good investment for the woman and poor investment for the man.

See above. My husband was NOT richer. We were equally beautiful. My husband very wisely looked at the family I came from. How we aged in my family. I have a good diet and have never smoked. Presently I look younger/better than he does. As he gets older he is not scoring with younger and younger babes despite the common misconception of the men who post the above gripe (but do not look for quality in a mate as DOT has suggested).

My husband has better luck with his own age group because of sexual appetites evening out between men and women but that is it.

 

Men who know about the financial pitfalls of marrying search for quality spiritually developed women who have good sense about money, will stand by him in bad times and care about him for himself (and he has something to offer emotionally being a developed person, not just a money maker).

 

Men who wish to purchase the sole attention of a good looking girl such that she will forsake other men during the time of her life that she is best looking generally have not developed themselves spiritually and find the risk of a financial hit is a monumentous concern.

For them it is not worth it to marry because they basically see the woman as an asset that will lose monetary value. Over time the man will grow tired of this one woman and put less energy into a relationship with her and/or the woman will get sick of this behaviour/attitude and leave creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I was one of these men I would NOT marry. I would just hire call girls/escorts.

[musemaj11]

Marriage is a huge gamble, but you have to play to win!

Only an idiot or someone with a chronic gambling issue would bet half his total assets at 50:50 odds. Might as well play the Russian Roulette.

[musemaj11]

I can understand men who go on and get married despite having been forewarned about it because all of us men have this desire to satisfy our romantic fantasy of having our own perfect family with a beautiful and beautiful kids.

 

Even though I agree that men shouldnt marry, but I probably will still get married one day (of Ill do my best to take the utmost precautions) just to satisfy this innate desire because otherwise Im going to wonder for the rest my life.

 

But I cant understand is men who have had failed marriages and getting taken to the cleaners each time and still looking to get married again. These men are the dumbest of all. Even a donkey doesnt fall into the same hole twice.

[dreamingoftigers]

My husband was super-insistant about marrying me. I didn't want to get married at that point.

 

My how messed up things get....

 

Mr. Cairo, are they really banging down your door?

[dreamingoftigers]

Your husband is a porn addict, and a former homeless. Not that high of a male in terms of quality.

 

My husband was not a porn addict when we married.

 

Sure, with this economy, if they have a glimpse of family money, what do you think they are going to do? Women who are just into me because they find me attractive, aren't that really interested in getting married. Right now.

 

PS: within one year of getting off the streets: he got a driver's license, high school diploma, full-time job, learned a trade, bought and paid for a house and car. He also helped me to become debt-free.

 

He had more ambition and drive then anyone I have ever known. My father and maternal grandfather are both millionaires (my grandfather many times over) and both were impressed with what he could accomplish in such a short time. My father begrudgingly so.

 

The next year he went to Carleton University full time and the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition full-time as well.

 

The ambition died with the porn sadly, but no he was not low-quality when we married and for the 3 years after.

 

Even after the porn problem started he was able to build half of a business that acquired over 100 repeat clients in the first year. During. A. Recession.

 

The fact that he convinced me to marry him reeked of that same ambition.

 

BTW before me, he was engaged before and had over 60 sexual partners by the age of 26 (which disgusted me and didn't work in his favor when it came to me) but shows that clearly he had some redeeming qualities for some members of the opposite sex.

 

I didn't marry a porn addict, I married a guy that would make any woman proud. What he became later is nothing short of tragic.

 

But YOU know next to dick (about what quality of person he is).

[musemaj11]

Well, that's not very surprising if men are tasked with being the financial providers. In many non-Western countries where I've lived, men have to provide for the family even if the woman makes money (as in, his money is their money, her money is technically just hers, although in reality both will usually contribute). Where I live now, finances are definitely defined as a shared responsibility and there is no way a woman would get away with saying the man should provide, unless they have agreed that she should stay at home being a house wife and taking care of children. Full or part time work is much more common, though.

Apparently independence does kill you.

 

Study shows that modern independent women die sooner as well.

 

Today's Women Live Faster and Die Younger

[dreamingoftigers]

Such words hurt me!

 

So how you enjoying seeing your husband wank to those perfect women, while you stand in the sidelines?

 

What words hurt you?

 

What about my husband's ambition could possibly hurt you?

 

And for the record, seeing my husband wank in the great parking lots of this city has destroyed parts of me that will never be whole again, thank you very much.

 

Anything else you care to shame me about or shall I introduce my weight problem and depression for you fodder?

[giotto]

 

But YOU know next to dick (about what quality of person he is).

 

Don't feed the troll... regardless of what he might say (he is the holder of the absolute truth, after all), Mr Cairo is obviously here on LS to annoy as many people as possible (just read his other posts). And obviously he's got nothing else to do (apart from shagging several attractive women a day).

[dreamingoftigers]

The researchers who are paid to do such studies are payed by the people whose interests lie in having people marry, in having children, and in divorcing. To whom do these employers belong to? To the state.

 

In Europe each Govt. is trying to make people into having babies by giving them money per child. In Spain it was something around 5.000 euros, per child, if I'm not mistaken. They tried to do the same in my Country but then they realized that they didn't even have the money to give to the families that already had children .

 

All of the world is driving itself into extinction with the liberty to do what people want, they are going to think of themselves. Even in those couples above average in income, many are without children and many will die without them.

 

The state, knowing that people can be easily exploited, come up with silly studies that 'prove' that men benefit from marriage and that women thrive from having babies and immense bills to pay.

 

And of course, people being the herd creatures that the are, swallow it all up.

 

Then why are fewer of us marrying and procreating if we swallow it all up?

[giotto]

and when you tell the truth that is, not what many of you want to believe in: I am a troll.

 

Because you don't tell the truth, you tell your truth and, unfortunately, it happens to be BS...

 

How does it feel to be castrated, bro?

 

I don't know... you tell me...

[dreamingoftigers]

How can I deny you such truth? You are right, the man who tells people that the poison can kill is nothing more than a troll.

 

When you as a person, call people out on their BS(like dream something being against men who have had several sexual partners, but then says that her husband had 60 sexual partners. Such lovely cognitive dissonance), and when you tell the truth that is, not what many of you want to believe in: I am a troll.

 

I never said that I was against them. What would that even look like? Taking a spear around the downtown core anytime a drunken hookup might happen? I have said that that has disgusted me, it puts me off and makes me less attracted to that type of guy. My ex before my H was a virgin and I found that incredibly attractive.

 

My husband's sexual past was very close to a dealbreaker for me, he heavily argued that he wished to put his past behind him and be my husband. I think that both I and he bought that. Sadly though, (both he and I were unaware) he is a sexual addict and you don't just wish that away.

 

Because I don't abide to 'lets use this forum to feel good about yourselves'.

 

How does it feel to be castrated, bro?

 

I am wondering still what exactly triggered you to start on the warpath with my sexual life? Something must've pissed you off to make the lovely comment about the "perfect women."

 

I am also still wondering if some of us do enjoy marriage in your opinion or if your version of "love" is the only option?

[giotto]

Hey white knight, you do know that you wouldn't have these problems had you chosen to stay single, right?

 

 

 

You want more of your lovely married life?

 

 

How much did you pay your wife(in money, or emotions) to have sex with you, buddy?

 

What are your excuses going to be now? That you connected to your emotions and made her feel 'like a real woman', or was it the lack of a better mate around that made your wife do the deal with you again?

 

Despite her total and utter lack of interest in you? Its called marital rape, you know that, don't you?

 

 

Typical example of small dick syndrome. I rest my case.

[dreamingoftigers]

Because many, and many, and many men, are rejecting marriage/co-habitation, and children.

 

From women in college complaining that there are no eligible(beyond sex) men around for them to date, to women in all of the Western world claiming that men aren't interested in anything serious. Hence the threads on this forum and the endless articles done by women, on 'how' the 'good men' have disappeared from the face of the earth.

 

Did you know that in my Country alone, more than half of the marriages effectuated with men from the Country itself marrying women from Brazil?

 

Men do know that sex can be expensive, and now they are trying to get it cheaper from overseas.

 

Eventually the women from the poor Countries will realize that they can get more money out of the deal, and marriage and co-habitation will finally die, because men, regardless of how dumb they can be, if there's no money around to spend, aren't going to risk the little they have.

 

I get a lot of laughs when I go to the mall and I literally see attractive 20 year olds, with men in their late 40's. I've even seen them married(while checking out other men) with men in their late 60's.

 

My female friends tell me that its real love and all of that. Sure, it has nothing to do with the Audi parked outside.

 

So again, if we are all herd people and swallow up whatever the state sells to us, then that would mean that more of us would be getting married because the state gave us incentives, right?

[dreamingoftigers]

You shame, I shame back. Its part of equality.The time of men restraining their opinions on women(or white knights) is long gone, and people are going to tell what they think, what they know, and what they expect from other people.

 

Yes, some people do enjoy their marriages, but many, many, if most do not, and its also great of a person to accentuate all of the bad, and to speak honestly of the good, so that the person who is interested in getting married, does so, knowing that self-destruction can easily come.

 

Show me where I shamed you when you started your tirade. Quote function please....

[giotto]

Troooooooooooool

 

Yeah, you rest your case because you were completely obliterated. Funny how quickly you retreated when someone called you out on your BS.

 

small dick syndrome? So now you've reached the point of having sex with other men, to know which syndrome a man has from seeing what he has to say?

 

The short-dick syndrome is one of the typical shaming languages that many of the women who are against a man being free(single), use to make the guy try to make it up for the 'hurting on his ego' by 'turning into a real man'!

 

You've been spending too much time with married women. I doubt you'd be capable of surviving without your master, and don't forget to keep on spending that hard earned money on your wife to make sure that you get a bit of sex - that is, until she again grows bored of you and you whine all over again.

 

So while you're basically caught by the balls, without any possibility of escaping without having your scalp taken away from you by the lawyers, there are men enjoying sexual freedom, and the utter and complete lack of control that a married woman can have over a man, is always there.

 

Go enjoy your marital rape, bro. And also believe it when she tells you that you are the best stud she ever had. Oh, and when she tells you that you are the third guy to sleep with her, yeah, believe that too.

 

Thanks for being the living proof of not what to be.

 

Dreams,

 

That entire post of yours ,that where you say that your husband did this and that is shaming language. How do we know if the water wets us? because it wets us, its no different to be wet by salty water or drinkable water.

 

So again, if we are all herd people and swallow up whatever the state sells to us, then that would mean that more of us would be getting married because the state gave us incentives, right?

 

Even when you exploit a soil good enough, sooner or later its going to say no to the seed.

[musemaj11]

At times I feel sorry for women who have problems finding commitments from or have men run after having sex with them. However, at the same time I also realize that these same women also only want wealthier men with higher status whose riches they can take advantage of.

 

In other words, men want women as sex objects while women want men as success objects.

 

I dont know which side I should feel empathy for ...

[dreamingoftigers]

You are way, way, way out of line.

 

1. You called my husband something that is rude:

 

 

Your husband is a porn addict, and a former homeless. Not that high of a male in terms of quality.

 

I defended him and my view of his quality. None of that is a reflection on you unless you have some insecurity that got triggered. Perhaps by the fact that a porn addict and former homeless accomplished a fair amount in a short period of time. That's your issue not his and not mine.

 

PS: within one year of getting off the streets: he got a driver's license, high school diploma, full-time job, learned a trade, bought and paid for a house and car. He also helped me to become debt-free.

 

He had more ambition and drive then anyone I have ever known. My father and maternal grandfather are both millionaires (my grandfather many times over) and both were impressed with what he could accomplish in such a short time. My father begrudgingly so.

 

The next year he went to Carleton University full time and the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition full-time as well.

 

The ambition died with the porn sadly, but no he was not low-quality when we married and for the 3 years after.

 

Even after the porn problem started he was able to build half of a business that acquired over 100 repeat clients in the first year. During. A. Recession.

 

The fact that he convinced me to marry him reeked of that same ambition.

 

BTW before me, he was engaged before and had over 60 sexual partners by the age of 26 (which disgusted me and didn't work in his favor when it came to me) but shows that clearly he had some redeeming qualities for some members of the opposite sex.

 

I didn't marry a porn addict, I married a guy that would make any woman proud. What he became later is nothing short of tragic.

 

But YOU know next to dick (about what quality of person he is).

 

What exactly do you have an issue with? My tone? His driver's license? Homeless? I am guessing that you read something further into my words then what was here.

 

You claim hurt over his accomplishments and lash back in the worst ways anyone on LS has ever done to me personally.

 

My sexual issues are something I share on here for 1. Help 2. Support 3. Education and 4. To support men and women who are suffering through the same ordeal. 5. To keep a running journal of my own progress and security.

 

They are not here to be used as weapons when you hit a trigger that you don't like. I don't lash out using your sexual and marital life. I expect the same level of respect. You may not like or agree with my opinions but that is your issue, not mine. I have never once tried to shove marriage as an option down your throat, or anything else undesirable.

 

If you have a problem with my husband and is accomplishments despite being a porn addict and former homeless man, give him a call at the Laser Health Solutions in Victoria. I am sure he is more then interested in what you have to say. He'll be the one there for porn addiction.

 

Such words hurt me!

 

So how you enjoying seeing your husband wank to those perfect women, while you stand in the sidelines?

 

Do you feel that you have backed your opinions to a target audience with this statement? Do you feel that you have reached anyone or made a point worth making by saying this? Honestly, I am just curious.

 

I have lived with the reality of this for over two years, seeing it in a cute quote on LS could only possibly (potentially) hurt me more, not deeper.

 

 

Dreams,

 

That entire post of yours ,that where you say that your husband did this and that is shaming language. How do we know if the water wets us? because it wets us, its no different to be wet by salty water or drinkable water.

 

Show me the example of shaming language.

 

There are many things that cause the sensation of being wet, including delusions.

[giotto]

you can say whatever you like... you are still a troll.

 

 

Yap, this white knight was destroyed and knows about it, but instead of accepting it and learning, prefers to ignore/join up forces with the people who are against what the 'troll' said.

 

Did you know that in Sweden the women now want men to pee while sitting on the toilet seat? I bet that'd go down real easy with you.

 

So slave, your cognitive dissonance not only is preventing you from seeing the hole you are in(your marriage), but it also prevents you from seeing the truth in what the men who aren't castrated like you, have in their lives, and are benefactors of.

 

Don't forget to hire my mates when your divorce finally comes(and no, it won't be you to start it). Some of them are in need of money .

 

You can't even shame real men like women can shame. You're not even a white knight. I sure as hell don't know what you are.

 

Oh. Yes. You are a married man. That might have something to do with it.

 

Although, you do must have a most beautiful singing voice:

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castrato

[dreamingoftigers]

At times I feel sorry for women who have problems finding commitments from or have men run after having sex with them. However, at the same time I also realize that these same women also only want wealthier men with higher status whose riches they can take advantage of.

 

In other words, men want women as sex objects while women want men as success objects.

 

I dont know which side I should feel empathy for ...

 

I feel empathy for anyone looking for their missing pieces in someone else instead of creating better things for themselves to feel good about.

 

There must be something missing for a man or woman to only want the other as an object.

[dreamingoftigers]

1)You've created a thread on how bad of a husband your husband is, that he prefers this and that, instead of working in you guys marriage.

 

That has no relevance to the thread or the topic of it nor to the fact that my husband pursued me.

 

Which means that you've created that post of yours, the one which had its space filled with the accomplishments of your husband and what not, because your ego was damaged by how I suggested that your husband wasn't that great of a mate.

 

I created the post defending the man that I married, not the man with the behaviours that he became. As I stated earlier, I did not marry a porn addict, he became one. My husband was a great mate. Yes, being told that I picked someone low-quality bothered me as I didn't pick a low-quality mate. I picked someone amazing who later made choices that lowered his value to me. Had he pursued me and had these issues at the time or revealed them, I wouldn't have looked at him twice and encourage other women who come to these forums with these issues being made apparent who are not married to these men to run for the hills.

 

Don't know about you, but my father has been with my mother for almost 3 decades now, and he doesn't care about porn, and he never cared that much for women beyond my own mother.

 

Good for him, wish I found a man like that.

 

2) You people really do create emotional walls that are there to protect yourselves from the hurt that reality brings. Many of you can't even accept what happens right there in front of you because it'd either make you feel like less of a human being, or it'd make your self-worth decline.

 

Hello? My reality on here is plain as day, do enlighten me as to what I have not accepted.

 

3).

 

Never said that. What I said was that your husband is of low quality, because of how he's treating you. That's the reason for the existence of the sentence ' yeah, but your husband is a porn-addict'.

 

It was hardly a gesture of empathy unless we take the entire stream of posts out of context.

 

4) making money does not a man make... unless you're implying that a man is defined from how much money he has or how much money he can have - and I doubt such a lovely lady like you cares for such things - or how higher of a social status he has.

 

It was a plain example of man-to-man standard of quality. I could have explained other things that made him a quality mate to me but I had a strong feeling that that would not reach a generally male audience. I may be wrong so here goes:

 

He introduced me to his mother very quickly and with great pride.

He told me often how beautiful I was.

He often complemented my cooking.

He would write me little emails and "I love yous" which were lovely surprises for me.

He would hug me many times a day and kiss me often.

He would put his hands on my face and tell me how lucky he was to have me.

He would make sure that we cuddled every night as we went to sleep.

He would make efforts to spend as much time as possible with me.

He would take care of me when I was sick and make me broth etc.

He would hold me when I cried.

He defended me against my father, even when my father was threatening violence, and he did it with dignity and tact.

He would pick me up little things from the store.

He would write nice cards to me.

He would do the dishes often and share heavily in the housework, he never looked down on me in that regard.

He would share funny and fascinated bits across the day.

We would make great life plans together.

He did not make me feel self-conscious about my weight.

He used to be focused on making sure that I was sexually pleasured.

He took an interest in my life, he occasionally bought me books in the subject areas I enjoy reading.

He used to hold my hand often.

Once the furnace in our place stopped working, before it was repaired he prepared me a nice bath by boiling many pots of water on the stove.

When we were first together he crocheted me a blanket that took him about 3 weeks to make, it is large enough to fit over a King Sized bed and touch the floor. He made it solely for me so that if he was ever away overnight I could wrap myself in it.

 

So the money he makes, the business he has, do not compensate for the lack of interest he has in you and in your marriage, ending ultimately with him not being a high quality mate.

 

No, he is not now. I was specifically referring to him at the point of pursuing me for marriage. We are not always who we were.

 

5)

 

And I just asked you how are you feeling as your husband wanks to other women. How is that not relate to the purpose of this forum, to help people out? Psychologists(not that I have anything to do with them) ask people what they feel, how they react to certain negative situations in their lives to make it possible to solve the issues.

 

This was not relevant to the topic and was a clear slight. Very clear. Also was not helpful in any way shape or form. Your comment was direct and unmistakeable.

 

6)

 

Spare me. I've been plenty of comprehensive and respective. You saw how I effortlessly destroyed that white knight? I can do it, easily, with anyone, from every point of origin. But I haven't done it with you, and why is that?

 

Because you cannot destroy me with your words. I am quite aware of my own situation and some of the past holes in my logic, the best you can do is edify me. I don't cry "troll."

 

Because you are a victim in your marriage and I can respect that, as I respect and have been defending the men who are victims in their marriages.

 

If you have a problem with my husband and is accomplishments despite being a porn addict and former homeless man, give him a call at the Laser Health Solutions in Victoria. I am sure he is more then interested in what you have to say. He'll be the one there for porn addiction.

 

Here we go with the accomplishments. Although I'm prideful of my family's accomplishments, I don't go around telling people that my family was directly responsible for the independence of my Country, for the Muslim hold on Europe being broken, and how I'm intimately connected to European Royalty .

 

I find this funny because you missed the point. He is there in Victoria for treatment for his addiction. Not many would consider that bragging rights. My point was that if something of my husband's accomplishments bothered you in any way, shape or form you could contact him at the treatment center and air out your grievance.

 

My own family (my mother's side anyways) has quite the set of accomplishments, we may very well be descended from the same people it sounds. This is of no bearing.

 

And so on and so on.

 

Despite that being able of making women drop their panties faster. But hey, you want to brag? lets brag!

 

LOL dropped panties only do something for me on laundry day.

 

Give a man a fish and he's free from his hunger for one day, teach a man how to fish, he won't ever starve again.

 

This statement does not answer my questions.

 

Oh, its easy to hurt people. Such fragile little specimens human beings are. But most of the time I choose not to do it. What's the point? I'd gain nothing for it and the person at the other end of the hurt would also gain nothing.

 

I share the same ideal. However your previous remark to me was an obvious blunt object. Much more then whatever shaming language you wish to claim I used towards you. Better to own it then to bury it, in fact you already said that that was your pattern: you shame back. So playing it as an attempt as anything else is a clear reversal.

 

Do I really need to exemplify everything to the minimum, so that people can easily grasp it? I've already done it by using simple examples, like the soil, or the water, I don't think I can make it more simple than what it already is.

 

Apparently you do. Because you have failed to produce it by using metaphors that mean next to nothing depending on context.

 

Also, even if I spent an entire day telling and showing, and pinpointing shaming language, someone else, or you, would pick up one sentence(at least) and create another bridge of conversation from it.

 

Welcome to a forum.

 

I tried to be patient with that guy who believes that all sex is rape, and honestly, I just don't want to deal with that.

 

The people who know what shaming language is, can sense it from your posts(and from the other posts), and thats good enough for me.

 

Not for me, as I would like you to see and show me where I deserved such a degrading comment. If I did not deserve it, then that is clearly on you. Own it.

 

Most don't know what shaming language is, and many don't want to accept it for what it is, but a few will know, or will accept it, and the law of nature is?

 

The Strong survive, the weak disappear.

 

The rest is of no importance to me.

 

This isn't a great life philosophy issue:

 

You were ignorant in my view and are trying to justify it by being vague, unless you have something to indicate otherwise that doesn't crumble so easily.

[giotto]

oops... looks like Mr.Cairo's gone...

[dreamingoftigers]

Does this mean that we are all going to stay miserable and married now because the state says so?

[musemaj11]

If I were to marry, it would be with a woman significantly richer because that would mean she genuinely loved me. But then again the chance of that happening is near zero. So chances are Im probably never going to marry.

[xxoo]

Only an idiot or someone with a chronic gambling issue would bet half his total assets at 50:50 odds. Might as well play the Russian Roulette.

 

I can understand men who go on and get married despite having been forewarned about it because all of us men have this desire to satisfy our romantic fantasy of having our own perfect family with a beautiful and beautiful kids.

 

Even though I agree that men shouldnt marry, but I probably will still get married one day (of Ill do my best to take the utmost precautions) just to satisfy this innate desire because otherwise Im going to wonder for the rest my life.

 

Since you seem to want to get married, but fear losing so much, I want to address the "bet half his total assets" claim.

 

I know a few men who owned a house prior to marriage, married a woman with a job, and divorced within a few years. In each case, there were no children, and the woman wanted out. These guys lost NOTHING in the divorce. Each walked with their separate acct, and the house was untouched (he kept the house, no buyout). She took "stuff" from the house that was purchased during the marriage, or things she brought into the marriage--and that's it.

 

Now, if my H and I split, there would be financial fallout. We have kids, joint property, EVERYTHING we own is "marital property" (we each had nothing going in). If we split things 50:50, he wouldn't be losing 50% of "his" assets--because they never were only "his". Just like they are not "hers". They are all "ours".

 

So I do not truly believe that most men risk losing 50% of their assets. The risks are not THAT high.

 

And the rewards, when you "win", are pretty high. The companionship, a parenting partner, the beautiful kids, the lifetime of memories, the health benefits....there is good reason that most men and women take the leap.

 

But you are right to be very selective when choosing a partner. Maybe talk to some older men in long, happy marriages, and ask their advice in selecting a mate

[giotto]

 

Now, if my H and I split, there would be financial fallout. We have kids, joint property, EVERYTHING we own is "marital property" (we each had nothing going in). If we split things 50:50, he wouldn't be losing 50% of "his" assets--because they never were only "his". Just like they are not "hers". They are all "ours".

 

it really depends on who's paying the mortgage, at the end of the day. I pay it (although my wife pays some of the bills), although the house is in both names... I spent thousands on the mortgage over the years and, if we were to split up and sell the house, I would only recoup 50%, because the other 50% would go to my wife...

 

Maybe talk to some older men in long, happy marriages, and ask their advice in selecting a mate

 

Do they exist?