StoneCold Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I think men marry for the same reasons women do: because they have a fairytale about marriage. It is a different fairytale than women have, but it is equally unrealistic. Hence my point about social programming Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Unless you look like George Clooney and have lot's of $$$$, chances are you will live a lonely middle-aged life and your only girlfriends will be Palmela and Handgela. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 You're totally right. The only man getting sex, and not married at the same time, is George Clooney. You're also correct about how every man above the age of 30 and not married being addicted to porn, and you're also stating the truth about women only wanting that guy for his money - if he's not married to that woman in question - because its not like the majority of the young men aren't fit for military service. I am going to giggle so hard, like a teenager girl back in the 90's looking at Di Caprio, when i finally reach the age of 40. I didn't say the only single middle-aged man having sex is George Clooney. What I was trying to say is that unless you're handsome and make a decent living, you will not be living the fantasy life you think a single middle-aged bachelor is living. You're making a lot of assumptions based on my post. I seem to have hit a sore spot with you... Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Cairo, how old are you by chance? Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I think most married men - if they could go back in time - wouldn't get married, unless you are one of those men who need a woman as a maid to fix your meals, wash your stuff, clean up after you and give you sex in exchange for money... Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 So you didn't write this? Originally Posted by Canuck1979 Unless you look like George Clooney and have lot's of $$$$, chances are you will live a lonely middle-aged life and your only girlfriends will be Palmela and Handgela. Now you are saying that you didn't say that if you don't look like Clooney you can still have girlfriends, but you won't('chances are') have Blake Lively. but when I look at your previous post you say that you'd have to look like Clooney for your chances to be high enough. Yeah, you sure hit a hot spot. Its an intrinsically wrong spot because that shaming language reminded me of my family and that i always pleasurable in a twisted sort of way. In that, whenever I am shamed over the subject of casual sex etc, I feel like 'home'. That's why I type so much about this. I love it. I love it when women try and shame me for what I am, and for what I know, and for what I see. Cairo, how old are you by chance? As old as those guys in the article. 25? I didn't read the entire article. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 That's what I thought. You might meet someone who may make you change your mind about marriage. However, there's nothing wrong with thinking twice. If I can give you a piece of advice, wait until 35 until getting married...if you're ever thinking of it. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Oh look, its a married man complaining about marriage. How could this ever be? I'm not complaining about being married personally... it was an observation... Bro, do tell us: Is your sexual life as active as it was, when you were single? Single? I don't even remember being single... My sexual life is actually more active now than when I was single. At the beginning of my marriage it was absolutely fantastic. A bit less, now... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 You might meet someone who may make you change your mind about marriage. It can happen! You meet someone, the connection is amazing, the sex is like nothing you've ever had before (contrary to what you may believe now, just having a hot body does not make a woman a great lover )....and suddenly, much more than freedom and money and variety, you want THIS woman ALL for yourself Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 but when I look at her mother That is actually a wise thing to do, I think. My own H did the same, and liked what he saw Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 . What I was trying to say is that unless you're handsome and make a decent living, ... ok.... but you realize that that isnt really all that high of a "bar" at all.... most guys make a "decent living" and note that women arent as visually driven as us guys....most guys are average in appearance but if you have some sort of a decent personality and a reasonable degree of intellect you are made. Dont buy into the idea that someohow you have to be some sort of a super male in order to be happy single....its simply not true Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 If I can give you a piece of advice, wait until 35 until getting married...if you're ever thinking of it. its not an age/maturity thing canuck I'm 36 and I agree with Cairo Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 With all the different styles of marriage out there to choose from, folks who preach about the wisdom of avoiding it always sound like religious zealots who can't deal with others not following their faith. Marriage doesn't require monogamy, financial blending, having children or even cohabitation (look up "walking marriage"). It doesn't even require a legal contract if you just want to partner up with someone else. The key is finding someone who wants the same mix of partnering you do. If you know how you want to live and it suits you, why would you need anyone else to make the same choices? Do you need convincing yourself? And if you're someone who didn't take the time to find the right partner for yourself before marrying and now regret it - everyone else isn't you so not all of us have to be living your crappy life just because we got married. Marriage is just another state of being. I'm sure you've heard before, life is what you make of it. Sack up and divorce if its so awful. I did. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 its not an age/maturity thing canuck I'm 36 and I agree with Cairo You're married to somekind of nagging shrew who has your balls in her purse. That makes a BIG difference. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ok.... but you realize that that isnt really all that high of a "bar" at all.... most guys make a "decent living" and note that women arent as visually driven as us guys....most guys are average in appearance but if you have some sort of a decent personality and a reasonable degree of intellect you are made. Dont buy into the idea that someohow you have to be some sort of a super male in order to be happy single....its simply not true Are you saying average men with average jobs can get above-average women? I think not... Sure, you can get laid by any woman, however, she may not be all that and a bag of chips. Variety is the spice of life I guess.... Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 With all the different styles of marriage out there to choose from, folks who preach about the wisdom of avoiding it always sound like religious zealots who can't deal with others not following their faith. Marriage doesn't require monogamy, financial blending, having children or even cohabitation (look up "walking marriage"). It doesn't even require a legal contract if you just want to partner up with someone else. The key is finding someone who wants the same mix of partnering you do. If you know how you want to live and it suits you, why would you need anyone else to make the same choices? Do you need convincing yourself? And if you're someone who didn't take the time to find the right partner for yourself before marrying and now regret it - everyone else isn't you so not all of us have to be living your crappy life just because we got married. Marriage is just another state of being. I'm sure you've heard before, life is what you make of it. Sack up and divorce if its so awful. I did. Well said! Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Of course it can happen, and it does, to many people. But all things of human essence are temporary, and so relationships must also follow the same path. Its perfectly fine when its a more casual relationship, but in marriage or co-habitation it becomes too risky, there are many factors now in it, and when the relationship ends, there are going to be many complications and so on, generated. As much as I enjoy the poets of the 19th century, they were paid to dream. Me, I'd rather keep my money, my youth, my health, and my sanity, rather than risk it all on someone who might have been the best person in the world - at the time - and who also might have been the 'love of my life', although that role belongs to me, as I am good enough for myself and such I don't really have a need for a woman to fulfill any emotional needs or whatever have you. That is actually a wise thing to do, I think. My own H did the same, and liked what he saw The young woman's father is also 'generous' in that aspect. So she's bound to being too similar to her mother when it comes to her body weight etc. Reminds me of one young woman. I dated her when I was 18 years. She was skinny. 2 years later her body had turned into jelly and from wearing tight clothes, she bought those large exercise clothes. Sure was weird how different her body turned out. You see this too many times. Young people think they will have their body forever without proper diet and exercise. 9 times out of 10, this isn't the case. What was once hard and perkie, is now soft and saggy. Luckily, I have good genes and a strict fitness regime. In actuality, my body is better now than it ever was...I'm 31. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 If I never met my wife chances are I would have never remarried though I can't say for certain. Marriage for me was just the cherry on top of an already great relationship. I have no issue at all with marriage in and of itself or monogamy but with the way the courts are these days men are taking a huge gamble. Everything else it simply matters who you marry and that goes for men and women. All women are not the same just like all men are not the same so you can't apply a one size fits all to half the population. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I know, right. It was even funnier because when we were casually dating she was constantly concerned about her weight, about how she looked, and she'd trow a tantrum if one gram of weight was gained, but when I saw her with her boyfriend(no, she didn't have one when we were seeing each other), she had grown to left and side, and that slim figure of hers, with those curves all in the right place -and firm at that - were all jiggly and so different from what I've known of her. In 2 years! From 18 years to 20, and she was like this, and I've seen plenty of women her age like that. What will she look like in 10 years? Add to that her deep dislike for physical exercise, and you'll see that pretty young woman turn into a bitter older woman because of the loss of her looks. All her fault, I guess. It is. You gotta sweat if you want to look a certain way. Yes, it is her fault if she let's herself go. Physical activity if very important if you want to maintain a certain physique. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Hear! Hear! Now lets all find ourselves some gals and some guys and get married. Gotta keep on... feeding those lawyers..... My divorce didn't cost my ex a thin dime. I paid the filing cost (somewhere around $200) and the lawyer worked for free. Perhaps divorce, like marriage, is also what you make of it. My ex and I were just much better at divorce than marriage. I don't need everyone to get married because I did. I don't see the point in trying to get others to not marry just because you don't currently want to be married. Say you actually DO talk some folks out of it and then change your mind - how will you compensate them? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 How to avoid a solution? Do not have the problem in the first place. That's what I'm talking about. Marriage is a huge gamble, but you have to play to win! Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 You're married to somekind of nagging shrew who has your balls in her purse. That makes a BIG difference. married? yes Nagging shrew? yeah....but many women are nags Balls in a purse? where did you get that from? thats actually why we have problems...she tried....I said "I dont think so" and downhill it went. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 (edited) Are you saying average men with average jobs can get above-average women? I think not....... speak for yourself. Hey you said a "decent living" ..and yes you can...there are plenty of cute girls out there. You must not get out much? Sure, you can get laid by any woman, however, she may not be all that and a bag of chips..... No but your wife may not be "all that and a bag of chips either"....at least you get to move on to the next girl who may very well be "all that" Variety is the spice of life I guess.... Now your getting it Edited April 20, 2011 by StoneCold Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 1) By marrying, he takes on the risk that there is 50-50 chance he is going to lose half of his wealth in the future. 2) By marrying, he restricts himself to having sex with only one woman for the rest of his life in a world where a man has complete sexual freedom. 3) Since in nearly all marriages the man is richer and the woman is more beautiful, by marrying, a man agrees to enter a disadvantageous long term deal in which chances are his financial value will only rise overtime while her physical value will only steadily decline. In other words, marriage is good investment for the woman and poor investment for the man. I would reject the presupposition that the hypothetical man outlined is remotely 'marriage worthy' in the first instance. So, my gender neutral question would be to ask myself whether I am 'marriage worthy'. Also, regardless of ones view of marriage, I don't see the alternative as more satisfying. I mean, who wants multiple failed relationships instead of working towards one healthy relationship? I will tell you who, people who don't want commitment. As long as you are clear about this.. fine. I just think it odd that people find it so hard to see which end of the stats they belong to. Even when clearly outlining that their beliefs are anti marriage. I just think to myself that those who hold such views are fresh contestants for that show I love, 'Heir Hunter'. Many people end up with no one to pass on their life savings to and the government gets it. Obviously I don't care whether people get married or not. It would be wise however to maybe simply accept that because of beliefs held, marriage is not a feasible option for you. .. Although it can still take people by surprise and happen and work out fine. Even for hardened critics. Marriage is about people, not views.. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Stone Cold, I actually enjoy a very active social life. From what I see, most single women of a certain age who are willing to settle for average usually have somekind of issue. Again, that's simply my own observation. I hope you plan on using condoms when you're "moving on" to the next woman. You wouldn't want to catch a nasty rash, boils or warts down there. I'm sure you would look at a monogamous relationship differently if you were getting warts burned off of your penis. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts