day two of no contact...dont laugh!

[beancounter999]

Hi Tom,

 

I understand exactly how you feel. Today is day 5 for me and my ex of 2 1/2 years. We talked several times a day so I know how hard it is to go from several times to zero suddenly. It sucks and it hurts. Sometimes you want to just curl up and die. 5 days is the longest for me so far. Before I could never make it past 3. But, you know what? I realized that even after talking to him, even if the conversation was nice, I didn't really feel any better. Maybe a little at first, but if anything I would end up feeling worse. Contact really does just prolong the pain and hinder the healing. You need to keep posting here or call a friend whenever you get the urge. What you are feeling is normal, and it will get better. You just need to find something else to focus on to get you past those bad times when you want to call. I call a friend (believe me, I've called her a lot the past few days), and she always helps me through. Don't give up Tom. Good luck to you. ((Hugs))

[Bojickwoman]

Tom-I am a new member and just read through this thread. I am going through the same thing right now and it is very hard. What is even worse is that my relationship was a long distance one. There was no nastiness in the breakup, he simply said he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, who he was anymore and said that the "spark" from our relationship was missing and didn't know if he loved me anymore. I guess he had been feeling this way for a few months and never said anything to me. So when this all went down, it was quite a shock to say the least. We were planning on eventually moving in together and he had even gone so far as to purchase an engagement ring. He too wants to remain friends with me and still talk. It is very hard for me to do that. I have never been able to be just friends with my ex's. So, this time I relented and said yes, we could talk. We emailed back and forth about 2 weeks after the breakup and then he went out of town to visit some relatives for a week. When he got back, he didn't contact me like he said he would. I gave in and emailed him about 3 days after he got back and the email I got back from him sounded like he could give a sh*t. So, I'm trying really hard to not contact him any longer. I'm very hurt and confused by the whole breakup. Maintaining a long distance relationship was difficult enough. My advise to you is, you are still young and you need to get out there and experience life. These things happen with all age groups. Look at me, I'm 30 years old and still going through this crap. Breakups are never easy. I'm trying to get on with my life though and keeping myself busy enjoying my hobbies. That is the most important thing. If I can keep myself busy enough, then I don't have time to sit and obsess/analyze everything. Things have gotten easier and I am optimistic that they will keep getting easier as time goes by. Who knows, sometimes the things that happen in our life happen for a reason.

[tom_gbr]

ours too was long distance.....we live two hours away from each other...i got a bit drunk last night and ended up texting her to see how she is and how her exams going...she replied but the messages were a bit short...i texted her quite late which was even more stupid so she must of been trying to sleep.

 

i really dont know why i did that i now know it really doesnt help me texting her or having contact with her....im just going to stop now...im getting on with my life but i still think about her a lot.....im going to put my mind on other things like my car and my uni work i think that will help.

 

just got look forward and say to myself that there is someone else out there for me

[tom_gbr]

i havent posted in a while so i thought id just let people now how im doing....im also thinkign that me not posting as much is a sign that im getting much better.

 

im thinking about her a lot less now...i came to the conclusion the other day that why sit here and get depressed and worry about not being with her when she doesnt even care anymore.....i mean why torture yourself over someone that doesnt care about you anymore and that has moved on?

 

i find myself feeling angry when i think about her now....angry that she has made me feel this way and suffer all the pain that i have been through.

 

i would so like for us to bump into each other so she can see how much better off i am and how much better im looking since we have broken up.

 

i found out a good thing to do is to look at all the bad things that you dont like about yourself and do something about them....i was happy with my strength or how my body looked so i spent everyday so far down the gym and im looking really toned now.....i also got a new hair cut and a lot of new clothes.

 

i really am thinking now that i will never contact her again....i mean its obvious that she doesnt give a sh*t about being friends with me....i mean what type of friendship is one sided?

 

i know now im much better off without her....i also met a girl walking home from a club saturday night....we had a good chat and exchanged numbers and we ended up kissing .... how funny is that...i was trying to eet a girl ina club all night and i ended up meeting one on the way home.....lol

 

chin up guys it all works out in the end!

[sinkerswim]

Tom..

Im soo happy to see you are feeling better.

I still have a long road to go down yet... 8 years of my life has been taken away from me. I miss him sooo sooo sooo much.

Im also happy you found a girl on your way home from the club.

I wish you the best.

[amish]

Originally posted by sinkerswim

8 years of my life has been taken away from me

Ditto here! Good job Tom!

[tom_gbr]

well its the start of the two weeks that i had been dreading since the break up....today was the day of my ex's mums wedding and for the next two weeks my ex is alone for two weeks as her mum is going on holiday...i was supposed to be sharing these things with her when we were together.

 

to be honest im not really that bothered now....i think im going to be ok...i know shes going to be trowing loads of parties and i think she is casually seeing someone so he will probably be staying at hers a lot.

 

i found out the other day that we are both going on holiday at the same time and place where we first met...this is in 6 weeks time..its not like im not going to bump into her as my best mate is seeing my ex's best friend..and he is going to want to see his girlfriend....i dont know how im feeling about it right now....seeing her for the first time since we broke up at the place where we first met....how am i going to feel?

 

i dont know how its going to be with us...will we even speak to each other?....will we hang out a lot?....im sort of worried that something might happen between us...lots of alcohol flowing and the romance of the place where we first met....also with the whole self improvment thing that i have been on in recent months im looking fitter than ever...bigger muscles and more toned...i think she will be suprised...i want to show her how confident and better im looking.

 

i still wish though we were going at seperate times....how will i feel if i see her kissing and dancng with some guy in a club...actually seeing it happen must hurt.

 

what do you guys think?

[aftershock]

I've read all this thread and I pretty much went through the same thing, mate.

 

My worst mistake was going out with somebody on the rebound - congrats for not doing that! Even though I have realised now that the new girl is far better than my ex, it made things harder, because it made me feel guilty for liking my ex.

 

It's been 8 months for me, and I've never been better with myself.

 

I went from sadness to anger to not giving a crap!

 

Just stick it out. It'll work out for you.