Fedup&givingup Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 I came to this forum about a month ago seeking advice about my marriage/situation. I've learned alot about myself in the process, just from giving other people advice about their situations. Someone like me could very easily turn into a basket case and wind up on Paxil, Xanax, Zoloft, or any other of the signature drugs available today to help us function/forget/escape/cope with our lives. Not for me. With my situation, you either look the way and ignore what's going on, or you get the hell out. I'm doing both. I was all hung up on finding evidence to throw in my husband's face, but I've decided to quit cathecting that kind of WASTED energy on him and instead put it onto myself. I am in control of myself, only. Finding such incriminating things will only upset me further and shackle me down as it has over these past 6 and a half years. I start school in the fall, and GOOD for me. What an "escape" that will be for the better. I will working and DOING something for myself to get the hell out. I have learned that I AM a fighter, that I am strong. Although I've had a lot of horrible things happen in my life, I STILL believe that things happen for a reason, good and/or bad. This nightmare marriage has served me the purpose of finally getting my degree, something I started on fresh out of high school. Interestingly enough, I'm watching my husband wriggle and squirm with insecurity all the while. He senses and sees how strong I've become, and that is not where he wants me to be. Under his thumb and insecure is how where and how he wants me to be. I'm SO over him, it's not funny. I feel that if I were on some MAOI, I would be out in left field somewhere just floating along. I certainly wouldn't be ready for school. I feel fortunate and like it's a gift I have to be this strong. I don't feel that I've ever been given anything in life I couldn't handle. Thank you ALL for contributing your thoughts, advice, and opinions on my thread to my story. Jenny, your words meant a LOT. You hit the nail on the head with so much. Once this marriage is legally dissolved, I have a multitude of concerns. I plan on getting into some extensive therapy to learn how to over come what I've lived with, and I obviously have some massive trust issues. I want to do my best to protect myself from ever falling into a hole like this one. Another thing I fear is when I go to school, the potentiality of me meeting someone is very likely. In my given situation, I would be an easy target and a vulnerable victim. I am very aware of that, so that's a feather in my cap! I need to remain focussed, and avoid any distraction as such. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 make sure you save this to look at again and again! good luck sweets! and we will be here to support you! Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Good for you. I'm glad you can make yourself stronger and move on. I'm probably going to be having some difficult decisions to make in the future and I hope I can be as positive and strong as you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedup&givingup Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 Originally posted by Pookette Good for you. I'm glad you can make yourself stronger and move on. I'm probably going to be having some difficult decisions to make in the future and I hope I can be as positive and strong as you are. I'll be right here rooting for you. It's NOT going to be easy, and I will have to keep reminding myself. That's what I've come to realize, that if you want something badly enough, you have to keep reminding yourself what the final outcome/goal that you want to achieve will be. It's not always easy, but I am a firm believer that good things do not come easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedup&givingup Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe make sure you save this to look at again and again! good luck sweets! and we will be here to support you! Thank you! I WILL keep reading this...make it my daily prayer or something. Link to post Share on other sites
gaia Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Someone like me could very easily turn into a basket case and wind up on Paxil, Xanax, Zoloft, or any other of the signature drugs available today to help us function/forget/escape/cope with our lives. Not for me. I'm very happy for you, Fedup, that you have managed to get on top of things so well. However, this statement is not terribly helpful for those of us with biologically mediated illnesses who require medication. I do not feel like a "basket case" and dislike being labelled as such. Link to post Share on other sites
gaia Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Sorry about that last post - feeling a little sensitive today! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedup&givingup Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 Sorry about that. I realize there are people with chemical and biological disorders. That's NOT what and who I was referring to. I meant that lots of times, women like me that have husbands like mine (and they are a dime a dozen, I believe) wind up on drugs as such in order to be able to function in life because of their husband. I could have become a "basket case" and could have lost all sense of reality due to this. I have people in my own family that have been clinically diagnosed with disorders, and I am not name calling them (or anyone else for that matter) as basket cases. I was tooting my own horn that I feel good that I have not fallen victim to such measures because of a piece of sh*t like my husband-he did NOT get the best of me. Thank you for pointing that out, that was not my intent. I hope this helped to clarify things for you and others. Link to post Share on other sites
gaia Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Totally understand, Fedup. Thanks for replying Link to post Share on other sites
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