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TheLoneSock

Yes, it is. Although I would question why he isn't the one willing to make the move.

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laRubiaBonita
Yes, it is. Although I would question why he isn't the one willing to make the move.

 

exactly. how long have you been dating?

 

and what defines dating in this scenario?

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Eatpraylove48
exactly. how long have you been dating?

 

and what defines dating in this scenario?

 

 

Thank you both for your responses, it is not that he is not willing to move I am actually looking for a move/change of scene ( not related to him) and this actually gets me that as well as being closer to him.

 

LRB, we have been talking/seeing each other roughly 5 months have known each other a total of about 10 months. We were taking things slow because he was going through a very rough break up. We did not intend to develop feelings for the other, but it happened. We are not official yet, but the distance has been a problem for the both of us. I am trying to eliminate that with this move, in order for us to be able to see each other and get to know each other more.

 

We are trying to see where this goes, but we would both like for it to work out.

 

I am trying to figure out, would he want me to actually be closer if he didn't care?

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I am trying to figure out, would he want me to actually be closer if he didn't care?

 

He cares. If he's wanting you closer, he cares. :)

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Eatpraylove48
He cares. If he's wanting you closer, he cares. :)

 

 

Thank you Cerridwen, I am about to take a hug step and even though I feel pretty certain about the whole thing, I'd like to know what other think. I have no one else to talk to about this.

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Thank you both for your responses, it is not that he is not willing to move I am actually looking for a move/change of scene ( not related to him) and this actually gets me that as well as being closer to him.

 

LRB, we have been talking/seeing each other roughly 5 months have known each other a total of about 10 months. We were taking things slow because he was going through a very rough break up. We did not intend to develop feelings for the other, but it happened. We are not official yet, but the distance has been a problem for the both of us. I am trying to eliminate that with this move, in order for us to be able to see each other and get to know each other more.

 

We are trying to see where this goes, but we would both like for it to work out.

 

I am trying to figure out, would he want me to actually be closer if he didn't care?

 

IF he cares THAT much - let HIM be the one to make the effort to be near you...

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Eatpraylove48
IF he cares THAT much - let HIM be the one to make the effort to be near you...

 

I understand that, however we have discussed that and where I am currently located, the job situation is pretty bad and the field he works in is pretty bad right now. Like I mentioned, I want a change of scenery as well.

 

Do you think that there is something shady because of that?

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Factor him out for a second. Imagine yourself in the new place alone. Would there be enough there to make you happy? (Social scene, activities, nature, etc.)

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laRubiaBonita

he sounds like he does want to get to know you better.... i say let him do it, if he really wants

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I understand that, however we have discussed that and where I am currently located, the job situation is pretty bad and the field he works in is pretty bad right now. Like I mentioned, I want a change of scenery as well.

 

Do you think that there is something shady because of that?

 

not shady... just convenient- for HIM!

 

if you want to move- then move- but be sure you're not mainly moving there for him.

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laRubiaBonita
Factor him out for a second. Imagine yourself in the new place alone. Would there be enough there to make you happy? (Social scene, activities, nature, etc.)

 

maybe ask him questions that mirror what cerridwen said about him in a new scene, sans you.

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Eatpraylove48

I am not moving there primarily for him, as I mentioned. Yes, he was a factor in my decision.

 

I also made sure to pick a place that would make me happy should I be alone :)

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I am not moving there primarily for him, as I mentioned. Yes, he was a factor in my decision.

 

I also made sure to pick a place that would make me happy should I be alone :)

 

Then good for you!

If you know in your heart of hearts, you're not moving ONLY to be with him, go. Enjoy. And be happy! :)

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Eatpraylove48
good for you :) really. Being self-confident is really important.

 

Thank you. I am realistic, and I do realize that things might not work. I have been living where I am now my whole life and quite frankly I am not happy here anymore. I need something new, new people, faces, job that kind of thing. I have a stable life, here but all the things I could possibly want are there.

 

As I mentioned, he was a factor in all of thise but I also know that at any moment, either one of us could walk away from this, I have been to where I am moving and I like it. I know I would be quite content there being on my own.

 

I wanted some advice when it came to this, because I know very well that sometimes when feelings are involved our judgement could get clouded and I have no one else to talk to about this.

 

Thank you everyone for all the responses.

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