Suggestions on how to handle a severe libito mis-match, please...

[Juggs]

I'm a 2 or 3 times a week kind of person, he's the every 10 seconds kind of person.

 

I'm trying to meet him 1/2 way, but he is not very understanding about it and makes me feel like there is something wrong with me if I don't walk in the door from work and want to jump him. He's still upset with me because last night, I walked in the door, he grabs me and lays me on the floor and starts stuffing his tongue in my face.... No time to unwind from dealing with traffic or anything... and I'm the bad guy because I wanted to get up and get a soda rather then kiss my husband.

 

Problem is, the longer this goes on, the more resentful I get and the less I even want to see him naked let alone share my body with him.

 

I have tried talking to him but he doesn't want to hear it. He just cops an attitude, starts with the "Yeah, that's fine" crap and goes and sulks somewhere.

 

I'm not even going to waste money on counseling as it's pretty much like teaching a pig to sing, it doesn't work and only pisses off the pig.

 

How do you make someone hear you that doesn't seem to give a crap that you have something to say? It's only been 1 and 1/2 years of being married... the 2 or 3 times a week was never a problem before. Now he tells me he's always been this horny and I'm the one with the problem. *I* personally think he has a sex addiction or something. He works from home so allllll day long he surfs the porn sites and watches porn. I don't care that he watches porn... I'm an extremely open minded person... Heck, if I wasn't CONSTANTLY under pressure about sex, I might watch it with him sometimes... but I find it disturbing at how much he does it.

 

It's getting to the point that I honestly wish he would find a girlfriend so the pressure would be off me... And that's just sad.

 

Am I the only one here that has had this problem before? How do you deal with it without crushing his ego or making him feel like he's a freak or something? I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to make him feel unwanted... I just want him to understand that I just don't have as much of an appetite for sex as he does... It's not that I don't desire him.... I just have a broader range of interests...

 

I would love to have a conversation with him that didn't sound like I was talking with Beavis and Butt Head.... Everything I say he turns into something sexual. it is NON-STOP pressure on me for sex, about sex, dealing with sex, thinking of sex, breathing sex, eating sex sexsexsexsexsexsex!!!!!!!

 

MAN! I remember when I used to actually WANT sex.... Now... if I never have sex again in my whole life, I'll be happy as a clam. *sigh*

 

Well, that's what brought me to this site so.... Have at it, folks. I have seen such a wonderful variety of people on this forum so far. I look forward to reading what you all have to say. Will check back in the AM... Have a good night.

[End of my rope]

This is just my observation and opinion...

 

It sounds to me like he's insecure about your relationship. He's home all day and you're at work interacting with people. You come home and he craves your attention and wants to show you that and you reject his advances, and in his mind, you reject him. He may be viewing sex as an affermation of your love and when you tell him no it's like you're saying you don't love him. I think you should try to do extra things to make him feel special, but not nessacarily sexually. Talk to him about it. Assure him you love him and you love to have sex with him....just not 24/7 and as soon as you walk through the door.

 

Good luck!