AnneElizabeth Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Ok, i know this is stupid and i'm prolly blowing things out of proportion. I love my boyfriend to death, and he tells me and shows me that he loves me in so many ways. He has an ex girlfriend from two years ago who he was infatuated with, she ended up dumping him for someone else. This girl now lives far away and has been trying to get in contact with him this year. This girl is completely and utterly gorgeous, and I am nothing compared to her. My boyfriend has been great and ignores her phone calls and emails, either that or he hides it well from me. Two days ago i sent him an email telling him how much I loved him and lots of other sappy stuff. She sent him a forward with a pic of her because she got a new haircut. I asked to see it and he showed me. Well needless to say, I was standing right over his shoulder and i saw his inbox. I saw that today he deleted my email and a lot of others, but saved one very overly nice email she sent him over a month ago and her picture email. This really upsets me! Why would he save those and delete mine?? I trust my boyfriend, i know he would start anything because she lives hours away...but what if she was here? I want to know if he still may have something for her because thats the way its looking to me! I really want to say something, but i've been kinda bitchy and blowing things out of proportion this week (i've had a lot going on), and i don't want to start anymore crap...but this really hurt my feelings. Do you guys think i have a right to be upset? Do I have something to worry about?? I'm going to talk to him tonight about it, cooley and calmly of course!...so i'd appreciate any advice!! Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 If I were you, I would be very straightforward and ask him why he saved her emails. Tell him you don't want to start anything or blow anything out of proportion, but you are feeling insecure, and want to make sure that you have no reason to be. Whatever you do, make sure you don't come accross as accusatory. You have no reason to believe that there is anything going on at this point. Like I said, just tell him you're feeling insecure and would really appreciate some reassurance that he's not keeping things becuase he still has feelings for her. Link to post Share on other sites
catspajamas Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 I would start by apologizing for being bitchy. You are just addressing an issue, not accusing him of a wrong doing. Just remain calm and try not yell. I know how it feels to see a hot fling from your mates past, maybe he doesn't, and you should let him know with kind gentle words how it feels. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 This girl is completely and utterly gorgeous, and I am nothing compared to her. Please don't even think this! I'm sure you are a wonderful girlfriend to him, and you did say that you know he loves you. I'll bet he doesn't compare you to her, and you shouldn't do it either. Well needless to say, I was standing right over his shoulder and i saw his inbox. I saw that today he deleted my email and a lot of others, but saved one very overly nice email she sent him over a month ago and her picture email. If he thought that he was doing something wrong by saving her email, I doubt he would have let you see it so easily. However, I would be bothered by this as well. I'm of the opinion that when you're in a relationship with someone else, your ex's should no longer be a part of your life at all. I would have requested that he block her emails, and phone calls. ESPECIALLY if she's trying to hook up with him again. I want to know if he still may have something for her because thats the way its looking to me! Ask him. I've had to ask this question before. Sometimes the answer hurts, though. If you've got an honest guy. If you can't ask him... you don't need to be with him. Do you guys think i have a right to be upset? Yes. Good luck tonight. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
priscilla Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 I have been in a somewhat similar situation. It sounds as if he still has some feelings for her, otherwise he should cut her out of his life. Really explain to him how much it bothers you without being bitchy and ask him why he continues to communicate. If he considers her a friend now and won't stop talking to her then you have to make a decision. Can you live with this pain in the ass in his life? and if you can't, then you have a decision to make. Ex's should remain ex's and I believe he should cut off his relationship with her especially if he loves you so much and is respectful of your feelings. I know how hard this is, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnneElizabeth Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Hey guys, thanks for your replies... I talked to him last night and we got everything straightened out. He said he kept the picture because I had been asking to see it and he really hadn't had a chance to show me until two nights ago. That totally checks out because I was telling him i wanted to see it. The other email she sent he saved because he didn't have her email address in his address book and never entered it in, and they are friends but hardly ever speak. She emails him quite frequently, but he blows her off. Anyway, I told him about my insecurities and he went into this huge speech to reassure me He said she meant absolutely nothing to him anymore and he would never get with her, and not because she lives far away, but because he made the mistake being with her the first time and wouldn't do it again and most iimportantly because he loves me and only me. Then he said.."i'm not sure if i should do this, but i want to show you something." He had me look on his history list with him and he started showing me these sites he;s been looking into the past month. Turns out he's been looking at engagement rings because he wants to start saving for one for me! Just thought I'd share Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 I'm so glad you got everything straightened out, Anne. Turns out he's been looking at engagement rings because he wants to start saving for one for me! Good luck. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 That is the most beautiful ending to a story I thought would end in another jealous coniption fit. An Early Congratulations, from me. Link to post Share on other sites
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