J2Lee Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hey guys new to thisbut would really need some help, I split up with my ex a month ago now, and it was my first real serious relationship after loads of casual relationships, The thing is im really hung up on her she told me it was because she had been in a relationship for 5 years shes now 19 last month, N she wanted time to herself, within the week she started seeing someone from her workplace n according to her shes happy noe and doesnt think about me, Which hurts after so long of been together, i gave her a 2nd chance after on my 20th birthday in december she decided to make out with someone else, she slit her wrists n i felt awful cos i feel like i drove her to it, we have been through so much and i really do love her, n it hurts to see her with somone else, n now shes getting really nasty with me, Is that her way of dealing with it???? how can she do this after so long and be happy n in love with sum1 else straight away??? im so F**ked up at the moment plus ive lost all my self confidence and cant even approach another woman without feeling rejected!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 im so F**ked up at the moment plus ive lost all my self confidence and cant even approach another woman without feeling rejected!!!! Sounds to me as if you need some time of your own to figure out who YOU are. Don't let anyone put you down, especially an EX. The first couple of months are a killer, but I promise you..You will make it. You will start to build this confidence that you once had. within the week she started seeing someone from her workplace n according to her shes happy noe and doesnt think about me, If you guys really had something going on, she's only telling you lies. But you have to forget about what she said. She's in the past, don't look back for right now. she slit her wrists n i felt awful cos i feel like i drove her to it She has issues. If she told you that she needed time to herself give it to her. However, if she asks for you help or needs it, be there for her. But I highly recommend that you do not give her a 3rd chance, more than likely she will leave you. You have to let her sort herself out. She really needs help, be there if she wants it. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 First of all and most importantly, as far as the attempted suicide, do NOT feel like you drove her to anything. Lose the guilt. It's no good. More than likely, it was a cry for attention and its roots go much deeper than anything having to do with a romantic relationship. I would also advise you to quit asking yourself why, why why. Who knows, and it's unlikely you would ever get an answer that would satisfy you. If she's slitting her wrists, she's obviously an emotionally troubled individual, and could very possibly be mis-directing her anger, at people like you. As hard as it is to do with a lack of closure, you've just got to do your best to pick up on move on. This is only one relationship. Just because it didn't work out is no reason for you to lose self-confidence or be afraid to approach other women. I know it's easier said then done, but commit yourself to moving on and overcoming this. You'll be a stronger and happier person for it. If you let this get you down, you run the risk of missing out on some great women and that's a shame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J2Lee Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 Thanx 4 sum advice n i will take it on board, i went for a new weekend night job in the local nightclub and all she sed when she found out was, ure battered no good in bed n dont kno what women want and u aint got a chance!!!! i said to her quite funnily, u ant complained for the last few years, i think shes just trying to hurt me even more, i need to move on but approaching ppl is so hard i always think they are too good for me!!!!! I just dont understand why she has had to lie to me, when we broke up she said she didnt want to get into anotha relationship n she wasnt over me like i said later that week she hooked up with someone else n continued to lie to me saying she was still single, i actually found out last week that she had been seeing him since we broke up IM GUTTED after everything ive supported her with, n shes thrown everything back in my face, I feel really bitter but i feel rly lonely n do think about her alot which doesnt help Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 i need to move on but approaching ppl is so hard i always think they are too good for me You're not ready. I think I know what you are doing. I tried it also. Are you trying to get with someone else so that your ex will get jealous? You want her to feel as you feel? I highly recommend that you stay single for a while. Everything that she tells you is all negative BS. You have to stop communicating with her. Try the unwritten "no contact" rule. Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 hey there, i know how tough your situation must be...when yioure in love..its hard to feel rejected by the one u love...and then u feel inferior, ugly, dumb and so on..and in some way how u feel makes u look bad..dont worry though!! i know ure feeling awful right now, but the reason shes being nasty is cos she KNOWS and SEES how much ure trying to work things with her even though shes with someone else...she sees how shes so important to u..so much that u have no pride and confidence cos of her... As crazy as this sounds..just give it some time..dont call her, and if she calls dont pick up..dont try to bump into her, dont ask anyone about her, just really try to pretend she doesnt exist..as much as that hurts!!! and dont see it as what might happen tommorw, next week, or a month from now..just take it DAY BY DAY.....and everytime u want to call her cos u just have this really strong urge cos u miss her so much..just STOP yourself...and imagineyourself calling her and her Laughing as though she has dessfeated u.... Shes with someone else right now..and sooner or later she will realize what shes done, but as long as ure around bugging her she wont....shes just gonna keep doing what shes doing.... just hang in there....we all fall in love and we all think that the person we have been with for so long, and shared laughs, tears, ups and downs, is the only person who makes us complete...and that we can NEVER find someone else...as much as u feel this way..just know that its the mind of a person in love..and once out of love..u will see how cheesy she is for doing this to you!! you sound like such a nice guy ..seriously!!..and damn u deserve a nice girl too... Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 People dont know what they have until they lose it!! keep that in mind....One day she will see all the nice things u did for her, and how u even chased her...and when she sees u have moved on and that shes no longer the center of your world..then she will REGRET it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author J2Lee Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Thanks Guys u dont kno how much this all helps, its so difficult to get my head round, my mate decided to take my pictures of her off my digital camera, n taken my phone off me, to help but i have this strong urge to just go n see her, im really holding myself back from doing it, It doesnt help that my parents are on holiday n im all on my own, N when im not doin owt i just get upset about the good times, Especially when we broke up, a week after valentines day!!!! and with everything she wrote on my card i feel like shes just lied why would she write really nice sensual things then a week later we are over n she with sum1 else Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts