Does no contact rules really work in LDR?

[Lynne-27]

Hi guys,

 

I wonder if NC rule really works in LDR... I have a feeling like I want to give a missed call to his roaming phone that he designated for my messages. It's been 25 days since my last call that he canceled, 15 days since I texted him and 13 days since I sent a forwarded email to him. I wasn't able to thank him for the money that he put into my bank account through his business transaction last week. Any opinion?

[TokyoG33kyGal]

work in what sense?

 

if you are aiming to do the silent treatment to get a response from him, you can't expect that to happen.

 

NC is done so that you can heal and move on.

[Lynne-27]

There were some issues between us that made me think about having a pause in our relationship. I have found him hiding something a few times and he admitted, explained and apologized. I’m not sure if everything he told me was 100 percent accurate, but despite of those things I found out, I still forgave him. But recently, I found something again which bothered me a lot. Since I can’t get him to sit down with me for a few hours online due to some unavoidable reasons lately, I sent him email him about what I was thinking. I told him my observations about our relationship and suggested to have a pause for two to three weeks just to assess ourselves about what we really want. In that email, I did not talk about my personal feelings until both of us are ready to really sit down and listen with each other carefully. I suggested that we communicate ones a week to check our evaluation progress. I suggested the points that we can take a look at so both of us are in the same page. I even asked him to stop helping me in terms of financial and he was discouraged. He didn't feel the problem that I was talking about. He told me that the only main problem is the money because we can't see each other regularly as we planned (I lost my job and he closed his business almost at the saime time recently). Then he thought that I was blaming him for all the problems we have and don’t appreciate his effort at all. He wanted to know the real issue while we were talking on the phone. I told him that we can discuss on skype later on. To avoid high bill, I just apologized and hung up the phone. He felt bad based on his immediate SMS.

Two days after our last conversation (on my birthday), I texted him to pass my sister’s message but I didn’t get any reply. In that evening, he sent me his cold birthday greeting. I thanked him and still updated him about things. After a few days, I felt that the original issues which brought me into an idea of having a pause are gone. I already forgave him. I tried to call him many times one week after that period until more than three weeks ago but he didn't answer the phone and my last call was cancelled by him. So I just sent my 2 years and 9 month anniversary greeting. I also told him that I regret initiating the time off in my email. I feel guilty. I know I hurt him so much. I don't know what he's thinking... whether he hates me, trying to calm down himself, punishes me, still loves me or what... I don't know if he just waits for me to initiate the closure of our relationship or what... I don't know if he's just being distant for a moment or for life...

I'm confused because if he hates me, why that the designated phone for his roaming number just for my SMS is still on? As of today. He can simply turns it off if he wants as almost no other person sends SMS to him from my country aside from my few close friends here who became his friends and my family. He also doesn't reply those friends who sent SMS to him. Usually whenever we had problems, he always told me that let's just take these problems or arguments as small matter. He's been very positive about things.

Until now, he doesn't change our relationship status in Facebook and still uses our standard password in his email accounts. But his silence breaks me so much... It’s been 46 days now that we didn’t talk and 44 days since he sent his cold greeting. I don't know if he still wants to continue our relationship or not. Then after 11 days, I texted him again as I badly need a number that stores in his phone, but still no reply.

But more than a week ago, I found dout that he replied one of my friends and continued the business transaction. My friend told me that he didn’t give any instruction about the payment method, and that the money still went into my bank account. That confuses me more.

So today, I just forwarded a message from a friend and thanked him for the money. What are the mixed signals that he is showing? How can I get him to talk to me? Pls help!

[Lynne-27]

Does LC work in my case then? Please help! Thanks...