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Where am I going wrong?


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I am searching for some more words of wisdom, because I am pretty confused.

 

I am 38, have a son who lives for half of the week with me, and I have been divorced for almost a year now. My ex-wife moved out about two and a half years ago, having told me she didn't love me anymore. She has bounced back, didn't seem to have any trouble finding somebody new and lives with a new bloke - who actually seems to be a great guy.

 

I took me a long time to get to where I am now, I can honestly say it was the blackest period of my life. I dated a few girls, but for various reasons things went wrong - primarily I think because it was too soon.

 

I have come to realise that I am over my ex-wife, but the feeling of loneliness won't go away. I met a really super person a few months ago :love: and developed a massive crush on her. The trouble is that she doesn't feel the same way :(

 

"You're a really nice guy, but..."

 

I can't really get her out of my head, but I reluctantly realised that I had to move on, I decided to try Internet dating. That hasn't worked either. There was an initial flurry of interest, but nothing that has led to so much as a single date.

 

"I really liked your profile - you look like a really nice guy"

"I liked your picture, I thought you looked really nice."

 

Then, the other day I was chatting to an acquaintance and got told:

 

"I can't believe you haven't met someone yet - you are so nice."

 

The wretched "N" word again - I hate that adjective. I realise that I probably won't find my soul mate immediately, but there hasn't even been a fledgling relationship. I am starting to think that I may actually have to face the prospect of being single for the rest of my life. Where on earth am I going wrong?

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I have no idea... because I have the same problem/label.

 

I suppose we should actually be grateful that most recognize this quality in us, and avoid the temptation to exploit it.

 

It's really just a "nice" way of saying that they WISH they could overlook whatever it is about us or our circumstance that they find to be a turnoff. (I've even used it to gently turn someone down)

 

We just haven't found the right match yet.

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ALonerAgain

Yeah, I hate that word: "nice". It's so...vanilla!

 

Have you tried anything other than Dating sites? What about hobbies? Do you have any? Have you tried meeting women through them? What about through Meet-Up?

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