Do you ever feel that you just have really deep rooted issues...

[Nikki Sahagin]

that are so much a part of you, they are impossible to resolve?

 

Sometimes I do.

 

I can't tell sometimes how, when nor why I picked up some of little issues. I can't really think if its something I was born to be, if my temperament allowed these things to stir up or if different situations and experiences along the way shaped me.

 

All I know is sometimes I am aware that I am not a 'normal functioning person' if any of us are really...and that makes me feel very alone.

[denise_xo]

Yes, I feel that at regular intervals

 

No, seriously. I think we have to be realistic/ selective. Working on some of our weaknesses have a higher rate of return than others. Pick your battles wisely.

[dreamingoftigers]

I had that feeling super-strongly and it turned out that I was right.

 

I have spent countless hours trying to improve my situation and become a healthy, functioning person. It does pay off.

[orangelady]

Yes, for me, it's being timid. I don't know why, but I'm always behaving like a mouse.

 

What are your issues specifically though?

Edited April 23, 2011 by orangelady

[Els]

Everyone has issues, IMO. For me, as long as I seem to be functioning sort-of okay in the areas of life that are important to me, I'm fine, regardless of what anyone else thinks I should be.

[orangelady]

Everyone has issues, IMO. For me, as long as I seem to be functioning sort-of okay in the areas of life that are important to me, I'm fine, regardless of what anyone else thinks I should be.

 

hmmm interesting but what is 'sort of okay' to you? That is pretty subjective to everyone.

[Els]

Subjective point. For me, it really means that I'm happy and not making anyone else whom I care about terribly unhappy.

[orangelady]

Subjective point. For me, it really means that I'm happy and not making anyone else whom I care about terribly unhappy.

 

OK but you can't apply this in work or studies because it's all about performance. For example, you did poorly in your exams or presentation or project and it's weird to say "I'm happy"

[Els]

No, that sort of propagates. If I do poorly in work or studies, I will either get fired or fail, and a lot of people will get very unhappy with me, both of which in turn makes me unhappy. *shrugs*

 

Again, it's just me. OP asked for personal feedback and I gave it. Sorry if your personal feedback differs from mine.

Edited April 23, 2011 by Elswyth

[Ross MwcFan]

I do feel I have deep rooted issues that are so much a part of me, that maybe I was born with them, like it's just the way my brain is wired. But I do believe that I may be able to resolve them if I'm determined enough and work hard enough. Since the brain has a lot of plasticity and can be molded.

[orangelady]

No, that sort of propagates. If I do poorly in work or studies, I will either get fired or fail, and a lot of people will get very unhappy with me, both of which in turn makes me unhappy. *shrugs*

 

Again, it's just me. OP asked for personal feedback and I gave it. Sorry if your personal feedback differs from mine.

 

Oh, no I was just wondering what you thought about that. That's why it sucks when I fail... It doesn't make me happy for sure. But thanks, still an interesting post.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Yes, for me, it's being timid. I don't know why, but I'm always behaving like a mouse.

 

What are your issues specifically though?

 

Very anxious.

Naturally kind of gloomy, which leads me into depressive spells sometimes.

Shy/non-confrontational

Issues with intimacy

 

For no really reasons either....

[Woggle]

I know I have deep rooted issues. Sometimes though I think I am healthier than many people.

[ALonerAgain]

Very anxious.

Naturally kind of gloomy, which leads me into depressive spells sometimes.

Shy/non-confrontational

Issues with intimacy

 

For no really reasons either....

 

I don't think anyone can judge how problematic their issues are until they are in a relationship.

 

THAT'S when all the demons come out. Not at first, but over time, issues that you may have thought weren't that big a deal tend to become magnified.

 

At least, that's what I've found.

 

I'm now in therapy and constantly reading about different issues that relate to my behaviour. I honestly do recommend doing this if you feel that life is proving disappointing and you tend to keep going round in circles.

 

Bear in mind that it can take years for deep rooted issues to be resolved. But like Dreaming.. says, the results are worth it.

[D-Lish]

I KNOW I have deep issues. I know exactly where they stem from, how my baggage came to fruition- I even have total insight into why I am doing something unhealthy as I am doing it. I just haven't been able to bridge the gap between having that insight and changing my self destructive behaviour.

 

Actually it kinda sucks to have the knowledge and the foresight, and the tools to change things- and still repeat the same patterns over and over.

 

That's where I always get stuck. Great insight, lots of good intentions- but always fail regardless.

[dreamingoftigers]

I KNOW I have deep issues. I know exactly where they stem from, how my baggage came to fruition- I even have total insight into why I am doing something unhealthy as I am doing it. I just haven't been able to bridge the gap between having that insight and changing my self destructive behaviour.

 

Actually it kinda sucks to have the knowledge and the foresight, and the tools to change things- and still repeat the same patterns over and over.

 

That's where I always get stuck. Great insight, lots of good intentions- but always fail regardless.

 

So what's the missing piece?

[D-Lish]

So what's the missing piece?

 

Never been able to figure that out.

Do you ever feel like you have a missing piece?

[dreamingoftigers]

Never been able to figure that out.

Do you ever feel like you have a missing piece?

 

Honey, my jigsaw puzzle closely resembles Swiss cheese.

[cerridwen]

I KNOW I have deep issues. I know exactly where they stem from, how my baggage came to fruition- I even have total insight into why I am doing something unhealthy as I am doing it. I just haven't been able to bridge the gap between having that insight and changing my self destructive behaviour.

 

Actually it kinda sucks to have the knowledge and the foresight, and the tools to change things- and still repeat the same patterns over and over.

 

That's where I always get stuck. Great insight, lots of good intentions- but always fail regardless.

 

Very nicely put.

 

Like most people, I struggle with major issues but I've come a long way.

 

Part of the process was sussing out what needed medication, CBT, EMDR, or what simply needed acceptance and compassion from myself.

I'm so much happier having exercised more of the latter.

[dreamingoftigers]

Very nicely put.

 

Like most people, I struggle with major issues but I've come a long way.

 

Part of the process was sussing out what needed medication, CBT, EMDR, or what simply needed acceptance and compassion from myself.

I'm so much happier having exercised more of the latter.

 

How have you found EMDR to be?

[cerridwen]

How have you found EMDR to be?

 

My therapist trained with the person who developed the technique so I was keen to try it.

 

Despite that, I've had diminishing returns, DOT.

It was INCREDIBLY helpful the first time.

But that was treatment for a very specific traumatic incident.

The less effective treatments tackled thematic issues.

Overall, I'd still recommend it.

[orangelady]

I'm so much happier having exercised more of the latter.

 

The problem with this is, it does not drive me to have a competitive and striving spirit to do better...sigh...

[ALonerAgain]

I KNOW I have deep issues. I know exactly where they stem from, how my baggage came to fruition- I even have total insight into why I am doing something unhealthy as I am doing it. I just haven't been able to bridge the gap between having that insight and changing my self destructive behaviour.

 

Actually it kinda sucks to have the knowledge and the foresight, and the tools to change things- and still repeat the same patterns over and over.

 

That's where I always get stuck. Great insight, lots of good intentions- but always fail regardless.

 

D-Lish (and everyone else):-

 

Have you read, "Taming Your Outer Child"?

 

It's a book by Susan Anderson that claims to bridge the gap between awareness and moving forward. It looks at the destructive ways in which we prevent ourselves from moving forward, even though we've done the necessary analytical work on our past.

 

I've mentioned it in my other thread.

 

I guess any book that looks at self-defeating behaviours would be appropriate too.

[whichwayisup]

that are so much a part of you, they are impossible to resolve?

 

Sometimes I do.

 

I can't tell sometimes how, when nor why I picked up some of little issues. I can't really think if its something I was born to be, if my temperament allowed these things to stir up or if different situations and experiences along the way shaped me.

 

All I know is sometimes I am aware that I am not a 'normal functioning person' if any of us are really...and that makes me feel very alone.

 

Everybody is going to have bad days, times when you can't function 100% or feel good all the time. Noone is perfect, we all have issues that go on. I do believe that some people are better equipped to handle certain stresses than others, but even those types of people have issues too.

 

I suffer from anxiety. I'm 100x better than I used to be, but I do know this is a forever thing. It won't ever go away yet I now understand what it is and with the help of CBT(cognitive behaviour therapy) in the past, I have the tools to handle it better and not let it get me like it used to.

 

Don't compare yourself to anyone. Make the best of the times and days when you are feeling good and are able to function, so when the bad days hit, you don't beat up on yourself, you tell yourself that things will get better soon.

 

Hope this helps.

[dreamingoftigers]

My therapist trained with the person who developed the technique so I was keen to try it.

 

Despite that, I've had diminishing returns, DOT.

It was INCREDIBLY helpful the first time.

But that was treatment for a very specific traumatic incident.

The less effective treatments tackled thematic issues.

Overall, I'd still recommend it.

 

Yes, that is how it does work. I have not reached the thematic point yet.

Has your therapist asked for your history and any potential targets in there.

 

Generally EMDR was like stripping off the worst layers first so yes each lower layer won't feel as different or as much of an impact.