higgins Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 my friend told me about this site. i personally dont like sharing my feelings to the world but at this point i figure i have nothing else to lose. i had been going out with his friend for 7 and a half months until two days ago he broke up with me. i feel like im dying. im still in shock and im mad at everyone. things suck. theres just so much crap that im feeling and i really dont know what to do. i had dated a guy before that didnt care for me at all. and he did the same thing.. started to ignore me and 2 weeks later broke up with me. this guy was doing the same. and in the back of my head i thought he was going to do the same. but i also thought i knew him better. APPARENTLY NOT. im confused.. and i take this personally. why shouldnt i... i hate waking up in the morning. and going to sleep doesnt seem like much fun because i know that when i wake up.. he wont be there. i wont get to hug him or tell him how cute he is when hes picking on me. i wont get to call him on his way to work and just talk. i wont get to see his smile. i wont get to know him more. he told me he broke up with me because i was moving too fast... why didnt you tell me? why just brake up with me? you said over and over i wont hurt you! well guess what you did. and its killing me. this hurts so bad. and you said you dont even care. are you putting on a show or are you that shallow.. i dont think you are. i miss you. why... i did want to marry you. i do love you. i wont appologize for how i feel. but i do appologize for not taking it slow. god.. im tired of feeling and thinking. you were my only support. and you're gone. i dont think anything that happend mattered to you. why are you like this? how can you tear my heart out and just walk away. whats the point. it took me a year to get over my first real bf. but this was real love. for me at least. and you knew that. and yet.. it doesnt matter. and i dont know what to say to you. im walking on egg shells. one word and you could just ignore me forever. im so mad at you. you're making me physically sick. i can barely work. i havent slept in 2 days. or eaten for that matter. so are you happy? is this making you happy? im confused. so i dont know what im saying here folks... im giving up.. i love him. i dont know what hes thinking. he wont even look at me when i talk to him. i want to give him space. and right now his friend is the only support bcuz he went through the same thing. but i dont want him feeling weird. and i dont want my ex talking crap on me. i know he will and he has.. why do they react with finding ways to make you feel bad? this whole thing really didnt tell you whats been going on. but see ive been re playing the whole relationship in my mind over and over for the past 2 days and i dont know.. it just hurts i know that. im rambling.. sorry. ok i should ask a real quesion.. should i forget him or wait? im dying inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms.Confused1 Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 this si how I see it. ya'll havent been broke up that long right .. well time is all that you have... maybe he will relize that he was being stupid. sometime sa break is all it takes if he really loves you as well. If ya'll were together for 7 month ya'll must have some type of connection. I hope u have to be completly torn .. but in time u will start to feel better. Don't let him know u feel so bad. That will only feed him power. talk to your friends .. talking about the matter will help. Truthful there is nothing you can do but sit back and let it ride out. Dont wait on him .. try and have fun and think about other stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really dotn know anything these to say and I sure this probley isn't going to help you any better!! stay strong ... I sorry about your lose!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author higgins Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 today is better.. i didnt cry yet. still stressed though. ive been working for 11 days straight and i work saturday too.. guess it will help me keep my mind off things. my roommates mom brought over a guy for me to meet today. i just said hey and left... went to walmart to get some film developed from our new years party.. the only pic i have of me and him together.. and happy. sigh.. i'll sleep soon and tomorrow will start and i'll wake up to nothing. and i'll sleep again and there will still be nothing. maybe someday i'll have something. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 i'll sleep soon and tomorrow will start and i'll wake up to nothing. and i'll sleep again and there will still be nothing. maybe someday i'll have something. Yes you do have something; you have a life to live. You have loved onces who care for you. Take it day by day. Take care of yourself. No one knows how you are feeling other than yourself. You cannot count on other people to feed you or help you sleep better. It's all up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author higgins Posted April 9, 2004 Author Share Posted April 9, 2004 ive been invited to a party tonight. lots of drinking... i dont really want to go. and i dont want to meet new people.. and people keep telling me, you guys might get back together. but see i told that to myself with my last ex and it made me sick and i dont want to do that to myself again.. arggggg i dont know what to do.. maybe getting drunk will help. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 It sounds like your ex isn't ready for a longterm relationship. That's what "taking things too fast" means. He's young enough -- or immature enough -- to want to have more experience before he settles down. That doesn't mean he didn't care about you. It does mean he's not ready for the responsibility and commitment that you feel you are ready for. His reaction may be compounded not only by his own ambivalence (best case) or fear (worst case) of settling down, but also by your emotional intensity toward him. You say he's your main support. You talk about how strongly you love him, as much as you loved your first boyfriend. That kind of attachment suggests not only that you are in love, but also that you may have lacked love at some time in your past -- and have a self-esteem issue because of it. That feels like pressure to a guy who's unsure he can follow through on a lifetime commitment, especially if he doesn't want to be the bad guy and hurt you. He's doing what most guys do in such a circumstance. He's trying to back out clearly -- denying his feelings, etc. is a way of demonstrating to you that there's no hope of reconnection. He's saying there that he wants the relationship to end for good. Bottom line: This isn't the man for you. He's not ready to take on a serious, committed life relationship. He's not willing to deal with whatever emotional issues you may have. A man who was capable of deep, earnest, marital love for you would step up to the plate on both counts. Let him go -- grieve it and move on. Take things slower next time. Get to know the man better, and let him contribute more demonstrations of serious intention over time. You shouldn't have to ask, press, or beg if it's right. You deserve more. He's not evil, of course -- but yes, he did screw up. He knew how you'd been hurt in the past and how you needed a man you could count on in just this way. His attraction to you emotionally and physically overpowered his good sense. Now, you're paying for it. I'd be mad at him if I were you, but I'd also work to see this misjudgement of his as a sign, a very important one, that he's not the one. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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