Dating is turning me off

[Darren Taylor]

A virgin model? Interesting. I'm 22, done a bit of modeling myself, dated a few models, and I can't say I've EVER run across someone in the industry who was CLOSE to being a virgin. In fact, I have to say 99.9% of the people I've met, models and photographers alike are quite the players. Are you gay? Haha kidding. I think it's very admirable.

 

I agree, don't use this board as a source of dating info. The people who are happy with their dating lives aren't going to be posting things here. Mostly because: they aren't looking for advice, and good news is boring news that no one reads on here.

 

 

I know it sounds odd, but I guess I'm one of the few. I can see why people in that line of work are players. You probably would think of me as a player and most probably think either player, or gay.

 

I've always been shy(not painfully) and my childhood wasn't the greatest.

[TuffCookieX]

I know it sounds odd, but I guess I'm one of the few. I can see why people in that line of work are players. You probably would think of me as a player and most probably think either player, or gay.

 

I've always been shy(not painfully) and my childhood wasn't the greatest.

 

My question now is, why are you on a dating forum when you're not interested in dating?

[Darren Taylor]

My question now is, why are you on a dating forum when you're not interested in dating?

 

 

I read the posts here for about 6 months before joining. When I first joined and started posting, I wasn't so put off. Over the last week or two, I've seen some threads here and it's starting to turn me off to dating.

[Saraswati57]

Yep, LS seems more like a repository for despair more than anything. But, who am I to judge? I'm here as well.

 

My childhood wasn't the greatest either but I had some issues my parents didn't even want to admit existed. So here I am now, 26, a mystery to myself.

[TuffCookieX]

I read the posts here for about 6 months before joining. When I first joined and started posting, I wasn't so put off. Over the last week or two, I've seen some threads here and it's starting to turn me off to dating.

 

You'll never know until you try. Don't let other people's stories turn you off, there are millions of others who can tell you why you SHOULD date. How about you go one a date or two and come back here and tell us how they went? lol

[Darren Taylor]

You'll never know until you try. Don't let other people's stories turn you off, there are millions of others who can tell you why you SHOULD date. How about you go one a date or two and come back here and tell us how they went? lol

 

 

I have no one in mind to date currently.

[TuffCookieX]

I have no one in mind to date currently.

 

If you're interested in getting started, you can always try dating websites. Or just start chatting with someone you might find interesting out in public. I've met some guys in weird places... parking lot, vacation, restaurant, on an airplane, etc. If I went to sporting events, I'd be sure to meet a whole lot more.

[Darren Taylor]

If you're interested in getting started, you can always try dating websites. Or just start chatting with someone you might find interesting out in public. I've met some guys in weird places... parking lot, vacation, restaurant, on an airplane, etc. If I went to sporting events, I'd be sure to meet a whole lot more.

 

 

I was on one briefly. I ended up recognizing one of the women on my city's website since she was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old. Like I said before, I'm shy. Many would look at me and wonder how that's possible, but I am.

[BobSacamento]

I read the posts here for about 6 months before joining. When I first joined and started posting, I wasn't so put off. Over the last week or two, I've seen some threads here and it's starting to turn me off to dating.

 

I used to be like you. People would ask me whether I had a GF. I never really knew how to take it. I guess you could get defensive. That is where you are headed. I sort of flipped it and began to play offense. When asked - I always say "No". Then I would follow up with - "Have anyone in mind?"

 

Honestly, if you are going to pry you must bring something to the table. Recently a friend of mine was trying to pry into my dating life. I told her basically the less she knows the better. The less she knows the better the chance she sets me up with a nice girl she might know. Put the ball in her court.

[TuffCookieX]

Not sure what kind of "modeling" you do, but around here, you can't get a gig if you're not outgoing. Even if you aren't looking for a commercialized position, an outgoing personality is probably 40% of what gets you hired. Confidence is also shown in each shoot, you can always tell when someone is shy and clams up in front of a camera.

 

If you practice this, you'll land wonderful girls and better job offers. Sorry that you recognized a woman as a sex offender in your area, but that's not everyone.

[Saraswati57]

I was on one briefly. I ended up recognizing one of the women on my city's website since she was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old. Like I said before, I'm shy. Many would look at me and wonder how that's possible, but I am.

 

Let me ask you something, you probably get approached by women all the time, right?

[nana841121]

I wasn't a virgin until 26!

same reason as yours

[nana841121]

sorry, my typo, i was a virgin until 26

[Darren Taylor]

Not sure what kind of "modeling" you do, but around here, you can't get a gig if you're not outgoing. Even if you aren't looking for a commercialized position, an outgoing personality is probably 40% of what gets you hired. Confidence is also shown in each shoot, you can always tell when someone is shy and clams up in front of a camera.

 

If you practice this, you'll land wonderful girls and better job offers. Sorry that you recognized a woman as a sex offender in your area, but that's not everyone.

 

 

I'm 20 minutes from LA. I do commercial because I don't have the features for fashion. I know a lot of people in the LA area. Lately, I go to womens clothing stores, where I'm used to attract customers. A photographer I know, his wife is a manager at a store in the local mall so I go there and I'm basically paid to stay there all day on a Saturday and attract customers.

[Darren Taylor]

Let me ask you something, you probably get approached by women all the time, right?

 

 

Depends on the location. When I'm at the womens clothing store I frequent, the employees flirt with me. It's also quite common for middle aged women(say 35-40) to flirt with me. Remember I'm not a woman. Even the hottest of guys generally won't have women using corny pickup lines(though I had that happen to me once while at work).

[Saraswati57]

Depends on the location. When I'm at the womens clothing store I frequent, the employees flirt with me. It's also quite common for middle aged women(say 35-40) to flirt with me. Remember I'm not a woman. Even the hottest of guys generally won't have women using corny pickup lines(though I had that happen to me once while at work).

 

True, I've been told the more attractive the more a guy would get approached, but I think this can vary depending on local culture, subconscious body language the person gives off etc. Or whatever, I could be wrong on this but I think good looking guys have to be at least a little assertive to be successful in dating. I'm struggling with this myself.

 

But, I remember a rather large black male co-worker came up to me and said "you is cute" I was dismayed until I found out one of his female friends liked me.

[Darren Taylor]

True, I've been told the more attractive the more a guy would get approached, but I think this can vary depending on local culture, subconscious body language the person gives off etc. Or whatever, I could be wrong on this but I think good looking guys have to be at least a little assertive to be successful in dating. I'm struggling with this myself.

 

But, I remember a rather large black male co-worker came up to me and said "you is cute" I was dismayed until I found out one of his female friends liked me.

 

 

Also remember a lot of women will be intimidated by hot guys, just like many guys are intimidated by hot women. Older women are generally more forward than the younger ones.

 

I also worked as a security guard for a few months, oddly enough at a womens clothing store as well. The supervisor even told me that while he really wasn't supposed to say it, they were looking for "nice looking white guys" to place at these stores. His words, not mine.

[TuffCookieX]

True, I've been told the more attractive the more a guy would get approached, but I think this can vary depending on local culture, subconscious body language the person gives off etc. Or whatever, I could be wrong on this but I think good looking guys have to be at least a little assertive to be successful in dating. I'm struggling with this myself.

 

But, I remember a rather large black male co-worker came up to me and said "you is cute" I was dismayed until I found out one of his female friends liked me.

 

This is true. Doesn't matter how hot you can be, no one wants to date a pansy. Confidence is a VERY large part of it... it just so happens that the better looking people usually have more of that confidence because they KNOW how good looking they are.

[TuffCookieX]

Also remember a lot of women will be intimidated by hot guys, just like many guys are intimidated by hot women. Older women are generally more forward than the younger ones.

 

I also worked as a security guard for a few months, oddly enough at a womens clothing store as well. The supervisor even told me that while he really wasn't supposed to say it, they were looking for "nice looking white guys" to place at these stores. His words, not mine.

 

 

Darren, do you have a modelmayhem # or account?

[orangelady]

Also remember a lot of women will be intimidated by hot guys, just like many guys are intimidated by hot women.

 

Good looking guys often have NO problems dealing with nobody is daring enough to approach them because it is the good looking women who will flirt with them because they are confident about their looks. Good looking guys naturally court good looking women with confidence and wins them over 100%. Usually, good looking guys will only want good looking girls too. Good looking guys will not care to even look at an ugly girl or plain jane.

 

 

I also worked as a security guard for a few months, oddly enough at a womens clothing store as well. The supervisor even told me that while he really wasn't supposed to say it, they were looking for "nice looking white guys" to place at these stores. His words, not mine.

 

 

This is not surprising. I agree. My friend works as a Recruiter in a recruitment agency and she told me that some of her clients told her they only request for pretty looking girls for the position of "Customer Service Executive" at the bank where they need to attend to customers.

[Darren Taylor]

Darren, do you have a modelmayhem # or account?

 

 

No. I have a couple of pictures on my profile here though.

 

 

Good looking guys often have NO problems dealing with nobody is daring enough to approach them because it is the good looking women who will flirt with them because they are confident about their looks. Good looking guys naturally court good looking women with confidence and wins them over 100%. Usually, good looking guys will only want good looking girls too. Good looking guys will not care to even look at an ugly girl or plain jane.

 

 

In most cases, yes. I would agree with that. Not always the case though.

 

 

This is not surprising. I agree. My friend works as a Recruiter in a recruitment agency and she told me that some of her clients told her they only request for pretty looking girls for the position of "Customer Service Executive" at the bank where they need to attend to customers.

 

 

Sounds spot on. Not exactly fair, but definitely accurate. The store they placed me at had quite a few attractive ones as well. When my supervisor told me where he was going to place me, I thought nothing of it at first. Then he explained to me(he admitted that he really wasn't supposed to tell me why) that they were looking for certain people to place at these locations.

[TuffCookieX]

No. I have a couple of pictures on my profile here though.

 

Let's see them. I'll tell if you're gay or not.

[Darren Taylor]

Let's see them. I'll tell if you're gay or not.

 

 

I added you to my contacts, so you should be able to view them.

[Saraswati57]

This is true. Doesn't matter how hot you can be, no one wants to date a pansy. Confidence is a VERY large part of it... it just so happens that the better looking people usually have more of that confidence because they KNOW how good looking they are.

 

I agree in general, but I have heard of more than a few very attractive people that lack confidence in their looks for various reasons, such as BDD, or odd/isolated upbringing, social disorder etc. It's complicated, but I agree most good looking people are confident in themselves in at least that area.

[Darren Taylor]

I agree in general, but I have heard of more than a few very attractive people that lack confidence in their looks for various reasons, such as BDD, or odd/isolated upbringing, social disorder etc. It's complicated, but I agree most good looking people are confident in themselves in at least that area.

 

I think it's more common with women than men. They say many very attractive girls are also the most insecure.