Author Dillon Posted April 23, 2011 Author Share Posted April 23, 2011 To be honest with you she tells me she is not seeing anyone but this guy she liked and told she wanted to be just friends. She said she was going to make visits to see him this summer( don't know if she will follow through ) to see him and her friends from around there. She tells me they are just friends Blah blah blah. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 ah damn. ill tell you from my last gf when we split up she was hanging around with this guy for a while and said they were just friends. she continued to talk to me and i was trying to mend thing for about two months but we were still broken up. i went away on vacation and hooked up with someone and when i got home she asked and i was honest with her. well i guess i failed whatever test she was giving me and two days later i saw a picture of her hooking up with this supposed friend on fb. point being was that it made me think that the entire time of there "friendship" they were getting close to knowing each other and liked each other so really she was doing the same thing that i was. she wasn't just the type to hook up with random guys so i know that she had already had feelings for him at that point. she was just looking for a reason to be with him. just sayn be careful with the friend thing that she has going,if she liked him once it was obviously for some reason. i do hope im wrong though Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 I tell her I want to hang out with her and she says I will see you in two weeks :\ Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 maybe thats not a bad thing. itll be torture but at the end of two weeks your head might be a little clearer. at least shes open to seeing you again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Should I continue talking to her everyday you think. Or just a little everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 thats a tough call.im in the state still where i want to talk everyday. today was the first day that i was going to go nc but i broke it to ask if she wanted to come over and help my mom cook for tomorrow. she said no and all i said was k and i was gonna leave it at that but then she started txtn me showin me that she had been making a cake and stuff and we talked about a few different things for a few.none really relationship wise,just things that we wanted to do over the summer.well more like me asking and she sayn ok, but it went well and thats ill ive sent all day.believe me its killing me cause all i wanted to do was ask her to come over and watch a movie or something with me and ive just been counting the hours till i can come to bed and go to sleep. and now im super anxious over whether or not shell come over tomorrow. i didnt say anything about it today but im gonna ask tomorrow round 11 or 12. funny how i sit there and pray, which is something i never do, when i have a major crisis. i guess its just comforting to ask and hope that itll work out. but anyway i think youd have to gage it. i mean id definitely back off a little. no good mornings or goodnights. i was giving these long goodnights saying how much i loved her and wanted everything to work out up until a two nights ago which she was ignoring. she told me it feels to much like were in a relationship when i send them. so im jsut going with a little right now and telling you how its working for me.im keeping faith that itll work for the best cause there definitely is a track record of people on here that are strict nc and against everything that they say i think its all situation to situation. but i guess this site is good cause it shows that im not the only one with these questions Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 you think though if i ask her over tomorrow and she says no that i should start nc with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 I don't think just because she doesn't want to come over you should stop talking to her completely. She probably doesn't want to rush in to things. I simply asked my ex to come over tomorrow to just have some fun and she straight up told me no and to drop it. Girls seriously are hell on Earth. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 haha . i just hope that the both of us arent being naive in violating the NC that everyone seems to be so adamant about. i dont think that having faith is a bad thing. just when does faith turn into stupidity? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 I believe you can't give up faith in something you love, and this applies to anything you do in life. When you stop loving something then you know it is time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 it just sucks that you realize the ways that you screwed up always to late. but then thats how you learn i guess. this is all alot of hoping and faith. i felt all screwed up in a different way when i broke up with my first ltr but then after thinking i know we werent right for each other and all the pain and stuff went away. but ur right, i think that once i realized that i loved the new one that it was finally time to let the old go. just hope its not to late and well be able to start again. hope is a word used alot here....lol....or is hope only for suckers Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 i just kinda feel like she knows that all my family is coming over tomorrow and stuff and if she were to say no that she would basically sayn that its def over. is that just oversensitive thinking on my part? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Ya I would say you are being a little touchy there. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 haha thanks. sometimes ill admit i do let my entitlement/instant gratification schema get the best of me... Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny85 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Hey reallyConfused, Did you read the "Laws Of Attraction" thread I sent you? You are doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Right now, she is loving all of the attention you have been giving her. If I were you, I would keep away for a while (perhaps two weeks?); give her some space and time to think about everything. This will allow you to clear your head as well; I know, it is not easy, but it will give you the advantage by her not perceiving herself as having the upper hand (the power to decide whether to get back together with you). She needs to feel like she is losing you before she will consider taking you back. Does this make sense? After two weeks, it is essential that you do NOT ask for her back. Initiate contact with a light and fun text message (I recommend an inside joke). Then begin to build up her attraction to you by conveying confidence ("I am fine with you and without you type of attitude"). Do NOT bring up your relationship; otherwise she will just begin to speak about the past and why you aren't right for her. It is important for her to see you in a different light. SHe will wonder if there is something new about you! My advice is to use an indirect approach to getting her back! You already tried the direct approach and it did not work. "Going for broke" will most likely make things worse. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 yea i did read it,really good stuff.but...im still an idiot though and after tomorrow( i have to try) im gonna do what you say i think at least partially. im not gonna keep asking for her back but if she does send me something im not gonna ignore and im no gonna initiate contact. by just totally ignoring her when she send me something i think thats a sure way to lose her (she can see when ive read a msg,we use bbm). but i think that i know that if i have these feeling of being used that ill be able to draw the line after the two weeks. ive already gone for broke so its not gonna happen again. she know my feelings on things. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny85 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 yea i did read it,really good stuff.but...im still an idiot though and after tomorrow( i have to try) im gonna do what you say i think at least partially. im not gonna keep asking for her back but if she does send me something im not gonna ignore and im no gonna initiate contact. by just totally ignoring her when she send me something i think thats a sure way to lose her (she can see when ive read a msg,we use bbm). but i think that i know that if i have these feeling of being used that ill be able to draw the line after the two weeks. ive already gone for broke so its not gonna happen again. she know my feelings on things. I think that sounds like a good plan. For two weeks, don't contact her, but when she contacts you, respond in kind. Keep it light and fun! Convey why it is good to be you, in other words, why it is good to be "really confused", haha, I had to throw that in there. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 well i txted her and she said that shes gonna do some time with her fam and that maybe after shed come over. i said ok and that i have something for her(got her two sunflowers)and that id txt her later. soo thats not a no! just gotta keep the faith Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Every time I try and not talk to her. She messages me later on in the day like.. Hi... nice talking to you today (sarcastically). And I can't help but respond back. Earlier today we messaged each other about how I was quitting baseball and moving to the same school as her as we had initially planned. I asked her to skype and she said maybe if she had time. I replied with whatever I am tired of you being too busy for me and tired of being second in your life. And I got back hahahhaha welcome to my world. How does it feel Dillon? Not very good does it? And she said she had been second for a long time. Seriously? She gets mad at me when I don't talk to her. But she wants to be just friends. And I want more and every time I talk to her I keep trying to push her back in to a relationship. A little advice would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Oh I also responded to her thinking she was always second with this. You have never been second. You seriously meant the world to me ali. Did I treat you like you were second when I went to all your games, plays, concerts, and everything you did? I supported you in everything you did. You could of supported me for another two months and then we would of been together every day from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Oh I also responded to her thinking she was always second with this. You have never been second. You seriously meant the world to me ali. Did I treat you like you were second when I went to all your games, plays, concerts, and everything you did? I supported you in everything you did. You could of supported me for another two months and then we would of been together every day from now on. prob not a good idea to get pissed at her in the txt. itll bring back all those feeling she had and any forward progress is lost. its just a matter of how much your willing to take. as you saw mine didnt come by last night and joking around about her drinking and stuff and then when i said last night that i would drop of the flowers today she said ok. bu then this monring she overslept and i wasnt able to bring them by. i just said ok but inside i was really upset. i guess its just how much am i gonna take before its to much. she said she wants her space so i gotta understand for now that shes not going to drop everything for me and do what i want. kinda childish though that shes still making you pay for stuff when you were together. how are y ou supposed to move on with things with her if shes not going to let sutff go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 I ended up skyping with her for 30 minutes and she said she wanted to work things out. But not right now because we are separated and she wanted to see how summer went. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dillon Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) She also said it is going to take her a long time to get the feeling back and may never will. How the hell am I supposed to take that? Does she want to try or does she not? It doesn't help she keeps trying to talk to me and if I don't talk to her I feel like I am going to just make her mad and push her away for good. I know I am starting to ramble on, but I was just simply talking to a girl on Facebook about school next year and within like 5 minutes I get a message saying "Damn flirt much.". So she breaks up with me and talks to other guys but expects me to sit her and just mope over her for the rest of my life. Or until she is ready?... Edited April 26, 2011 by Dillon Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 believe me i have no f-n clue. i went to drop off flowers yesterday and got dodged all day so i just dropped them there so they wouldnt die and she wanst home and i got bitched at after for doing it. im starting nc today. its gonna be hard as hell cause in my mind i want to ask her on thur to go see a movie with me and i still have this hope but the reality is is that shes going to say no. so im going to wait a week then feel her out. hopefully a week will give me time to start being able to let her go if thats what its going to come down to. it just hurts so bad i havent eaten or been sleeping well in days. crazy thoughts start coming through my head but in the end i know that someone out there will appreciate what i have to offer and that if she cant then i guess that i dont need to be with her Link to post Share on other sites
doubtfulwonder Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 believe me i have no f-n clue. i went to drop off flowers yesterday and got dodged all day so i just dropped them there so they wouldnt die and she wanst home and i got bitched at after for doing it. im starting nc today. its gonna be hard as hell cause in my mind i want to ask her on thur to go see a movie with me and i still have this hope but the reality is is that shes going to say no. so im going to wait a week then feel her out. hopefully a week will give me time to start being able to let her go if thats what its going to come down to. it just hurts so bad i havent eaten or been sleeping well in days. crazy thoughts start coming through my head but in the end i know that someone out there will appreciate what i have to offer and that if she cant then i guess that i dont need to be with her I agree with going NC. You aren't getting the responses/reactions you want or probably expecting and how she's been behaving towards you is probably driving you crazy. So use NC, and get some space, away from her. You need to start focusing on yourself. For me, I went NC without announcing it. He wanted to remain friends but it was and is still too fresh with the BU. I would just end up wanting more than he's willing to give right now. So reallyconfused and Dillon, I feel like both of you are giving more effort than your exes are and they are trying to keep their distance or be at arms length. Anytime you have the urge to respond to some small msg from them, instead maybe write about it here instead. You need to start eating and sleeping. Take care of yourself! I have been there before not doing either of those and it had taken a toll on my body. I forced myself to eat a little more, sleep a little more when could, even if I wasn't in the mood. If possible, going out with friends will help too. Do you guys have your own set of friends that aren't mutual friends with your exes? Link to post Share on other sites
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