What do I say to wife of my MM?

[jane00]

I had a nine month relationship with a married man. He was able to lie about his marital status since his family lives in Canada. I found out that he was married last week. I contacted his wife. She was abrupt at first, stated that "men will be men", and "she's never met a man worth getting that upset over (I was emotional). I apologized, told her that I would not contact her again, then hung up. A couple weeks ago he admitted to me that prior to our relationship he was involved with multiple women. He participated in threesomes for nearly two years. He of course is not one to practice safe sex. When I spoke to his wife she verified that they do not have an "open marriage". In fact, they are both almost 60, so I tend to perceive her as being rather traditional. Should I provide her with more information about her husbands lifestyle, or let the situation rest?

 

I do not want to cause her more tension. Yet, I want her to be able to protect herself.

[Fedup&givingup]

I wouldn't touch this one with a ten foot pole. You are stepping into matters where you do not belong.

 

I can understand YOUR level of hurt and betrayal because this man is a pig. For your own sake though, you aren't going to accomplish anything by telling on him to his wife. You will only stagnate your own recouperation from being burned by him.

 

What you hope to achieve by telling his wife has to do with revenge, and it's just not worth it.

[carla]

I tend to agree with Fedup. His wife may think that you being the other woman that you are just tell lies and tring to get your claws in a little deeper. I one thing that I think that you should do before anything else is get yourself checked out for STDs. Hopefully your clean but if not then maybe I would make an anonomys call and just tell her she should get check out and leave it at that. If she asks questions while it's up to you to if you want to answer them. Otherwise I wouldn't call.

[DerangedAngel]

A couple weeks ago he admitted to me that prior to our relationship he was involved with multiple women. He participated in threesomes for nearly two years.

 

they are both almost 60

 

Am I the only one having trouble visualizing this? Probably a good thing.

[ladyangel]

Based on the wife's reaction, I would bet she already knows about the other women and has just come to accept it. I don't think you should worry about her, just yourself.

[jane00]

Thanks for all of your advice. Yes, it probably does come down to revenge. Is it okay for me to seek revenge on him....in another manner? hehe I hope you say yes! I already have.

[jenny]

stop contacting her. if you must have revenge, have artistic revenge.

 

hurting his wife with information is just unkind, and, frankly, boring. she is the least guilty, because most removed, party in this silly drama.

[jane00]

I only contacted the wife once. I apologized and asked her forgiveness. I don't wish to harm her in anyway. I'm still bitter towards him. I did some things that will harm his career. I probably shouldn't have. I just can't seem to control myself.

[brashgal]

Yikes - forget about him and his wife and focus on yourself. The best revenge is to improve yourself - concentrate on your career, your fitness, your hobbies, your friends - once you are secure in yourself and your life you will attract a fabulous new boyfriend and wonder what you ever saw in him.