Jynxx Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 just friends A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired. Nothing to add to that
thatdog Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 For both sides it really depends on how much attraction there is. I have been close friends with several girls who I was at some stage attracted to. Some of them the attraction petered out and we established great platonic friendships. Others the attraction was too strong and spent several months/years miserable about the situation. I think the best option if you do want to remain genuine friends is to back off for a while, lick your wounds some,and then come back slowly and only socially. By that I mean no spending time alone with them, only catching up during group activites etc. If a friendship grows from there to the point where you can both be close enough to spend time alone together as friends then that's great. But trying to force that friendly intimacy early is just going to create more hurt feelings for yourself and will not foster any real friendship as you will have ulterior motives. This way you can also avoid the risk of becoming a 'tampon'.
somedude81 Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Jynxx, great find. ------- Sigh, right now I'm "just friends" with a girl that I like so much. I mainly keep my distance as spending too much time with her starts to hurt. Continuing with what UD said, it's like the company refusing to hire you, but letting you volunteer. Being just friends with a girl is so unfulfilling. And I simply can't see why she won't date me.
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