Im an 18 year old virgin and have never been in a relationship

[skippyrodriguez16]

Hey, just need a little advice in my situation. Im not trying to complain, just need a few views. Im 18 years old and i will be 19 in May. I have never been great with women. Through out high school every girl i tried to talk to rejected me. I am somewhat shy and i tend to get nervous around girls. I am also a virgin. I have never notice girls being very attracted to me. And i Have only made out with one girl. All but too of my friends has had sex or still has sex and all but one of my friends has been in a relationship or are in one. I sometimes think i have a problem, but some of my friends tell that Im actually not a bad looking guy. Im not "waiting" or anything, but im not desperate. I just need to know a little more about my situation and maybe tips on how to be more comfortable around women.

 

P.S. Im not really used to this forum stuff.

[Feelin Frisky]

Welcome. You are not at all a freak for being a virgin at 19. Much to the contrary--it may seem like everyone else has gotten their cherry busted already but it's not so. I'd have to know more about you to offer any advice on how to get situated. For now, just keep your head up and don't down yourself. There are many people who for whatever reasons don't get into relationships until older.

[Green_eyes]

Don't worry about it!

 

I know this is easy to say, but you are by no mean the only 19 year old virgin. Don't rush into anything for the sake of it. The right girl will turn up - it may not seem like it, but it will happen.

 

What you also need to consider are the following things:

 

1. Probably some of those who say they have had sex haven't - it's a male bravado thing.

 

2. Sex can be pretty amazing, but it can also be pretty mediocre - with the right person it is much more likely to be the former.

 

I'd say your "situation" is probably a lot more common than you think. Being comfortable around women is partly about being confident in yourself. Just be yourself!

[Gapinthesidewalk]

Dude if you find the answer let me know. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, just a few years older.

[alethean]

Hey,

 

What's your everyday environment like? Are you in college? Working?

 

How are your social skills in general?

 

Do you have a girl in mind or is this just for generally becoming more comfortable around women?

 

What kinds of tips do you want? How to carry a conversation with women? How to flirt? How to ask them out? etc.

 

I just feel like more information is needed so that we can answer your question a little better.

 

Btw, you most certainly are not alone.

[Disillusioned]

And..?

 

I'm 43 and a virgin, but I don't let it get me down because I'm in good company... think Isaac Newton, Beethoven, and Elizabeth I.

 

FYI promiscuous people do NOT appreciate having their lifestyle made fun of by people like me... now you know their one point of vulnerability. It's kind of like flying against a MiG, just use your wits and you'll come out ahead.

[ECuellar]

^^^No offense or anything just curious. How are you a 43 year old virgin? Have you not had the chance or choose not to. Again no offence im just curious.

[fortyninethousand322]

^^^No offense or anything just curious. How are you a 43 year old virgin? Have you not had the chance or choose not to. Again no offence im just curious.

 

If you can make to 22/23 as a virgin it is very easy to get to 40+. This is exactly why I'm trying to do everything I can to avoid that fate.

[skippyrodriguez16]

Hey,

 

What's your everyday environment like? Are you in college? Working?

 

How are your social skills in general?

 

Do you have a girl in mind or is this just for generally becoming more comfortable around women?

 

What kinds of tips do you want? How to carry a conversation with women? How to flirt? How to ask them out? etc.

 

I just feel like more information is needed so that we can answer your question a little better.

 

Btw, you most certainly are not alone.

I currently work full time and Im applying into college. I play in a Death metal band that constatly plays shows. I've never been a great people person. I have been told that when i talk to girls i either give my self up too much or don't give myself up at all. I do have a good bit a friends and somewhat of an active social life, it's mostly just my dating life that has been an issue. Also, I have never been on a real date and the one girl i made out with was because i was a little drunk. And i really have no idea if im talking to a girl if she has intrest in me. The reason this bugs me so much is cause im surronded by so many relationships and sexually active people. and since im a virgin, i fear the first girl i hook up with is in for a bad time since alot of girls around me have, "had experience".

[saucytatertot69]

Hey! I'm a 19 year old virgin and I can totally relate to you. My advice to you is not to worry about your virginity that much. Don't let that aspect of you control your life. As for talking to girls, I used to be shy and awkward (I still am sometimes! haha). The way I work on that is just to simply talk to people. Be your own true natural self. It's all just practice. Now, not everyone is going to talk you, but that's ok there are many people who will have a great time talking to you! I hope I helped. I'm also new to this forum.

[DreamerGirl27]

When you're a 26 year old virgin, with no hope of getting into a relationship with anyone you actually like, then complain.

[DreamerGirl27]

And..?

 

I'm 43 and a virgin, but I don't let it get me down because I'm in good company... think Isaac Newton, Beethoven, and Elizabeth I.

 

FYI promiscuous people do NOT appreciate having their lifestyle made fun of by people like me... now you know their one point of vulnerability. It's kind of like flying against a MiG, just use your wits and you'll come out ahead.

 

 

yeah how do you wind up being 43 and a virgin. Because at this point, that's gonna be me.

[KR10N]

There's nothing wrong w/ being a virgin. I know you said you're not desperate but seems that sex is the main issue. I myself am 20 & a virgin, which I'm proud of for two reasons: 1)people here tend to lose their virginity by 15 & get pregnant by 17; 2)some of them get this "fantastic" idea to get married, get jobs & SPEND, SPEND, SPEND! In no way am I saying these are irresponsible people, there's just a few of us who prefer to be career oriented & wait for someone who shares common interests.

 

Of course, I haven't been in a relationship either, but only by choice. I just don't want the responsibility of caring for a kid, worrying about money & possibly being stuck w/ someone I don't even love & really what is sex w/ out love?

[Floridaman]

Guys/ gals,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age.

 

At 26-27, I dated a couple of 29 and 30 y.o. virgin women and knew guys who remained virgins into their early 30s. I have a work colleague who's in his 50s and is a virgin, judging by his facebook posts. This guy is well-respected in his field and has a lot of friends, so I don't think there's something wrong with him...

 

Take my life. I had limited sexual experience before I met my future wife at 30. 3-4X in HS at 17-18 with same girl, then 2 separate encounters 25-26, but lived like a virgin (mostly by choice and opportunity) through most of my 20s.

Yes, both of us (she had only one partner 8-10 yrs. before me) released a lot of pent-up demand 3 mos. after we met.

 

So..... bec. I had sex too early at 17, that somehow makes me better than a 26-30 y.o. guy or gal who hasn't? Me having the "I've Had Sex" membership card makes me a better dating prospect?

 

13 y.o.s now have sex. So they're better than someone at 26 who hasn't given themselves to someone else yet?

 

*****

 

When I dated in my late 20s, I would have preferred finding a woman who didn't have a lot of experience.

Would have been pleasantly surprised had I dated a virgin, but wasn't expecting it. Gotta be realistic.

Wanted someone with minimal sexual experience.

Didn't want one who slept with every BF she had, though.

Edited June 8, 2011 by Floridaman

[TheLawmaker]

FloridaMan is right.

 

Just because I haven't had sex, that doesn't somehow make me any less than a 13 year old middle school student.

 

People need to put this into perspective.

[Dorie]

Guys/ gals,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age.

 

At 26-27, I dated a couple of 29 and 30 y.o. virgin women and knew guys who remained virgins into their early 30s. I have a work colleague who's in his 50s and is a virgin, judging by his facebook posts. This guy is well-respected in his field and has a lot of friends, so I don't think there's something wrong with him...

 

Take my life. I had limited sexual experience before I met my future wife at 30. 3-4X in HS at 17-18 with same girl, then 2 separate encounters 25-26, but lived like a virgin (mostly by choice and opportunity) through most of my 20s.

Yes, both of us (she had only one partner 8-10 yrs. before me) released a lot of pent-up demand 3 mos. after we met.

 

So..... bec. I had sex too early at 17, that somehow makes me better than a 26-30 y.o. guy or gal who hasn't? Me having the "I've Had Sex" membership card makes me a better dating prospect?

 

13 y.o.s now have sex. So they're better than someone at 26 who hasn't given themselves to someone else yet?

 

*****

 

When I dated in my late 20s, I would have preferred finding a woman who didn't have a lot of experience.

Would have been pleasantly surprised had I dated a virgin, but wasn't expecting it. Gotta be realistic.

Wanted someone with minimal sexual experience.

Didn't want one who slept with every BF she had, though.

 

This is a great post! Who cares how old you are when you lose your virginity!

I met a man who was a virgin at 36.

We slept together and he was amazing!!!!!!

We broke up after a few months but stayed friends.

He dated awhile then got married.

I asked if he felt he'd missed out by not having a lot of sexual partners.

He said not at all since the women he did have were awesome and now he was married and happy with his sex life.

 

skippy, to feel more comfortable around women try to not worry about impressing them or seeking validation from them.

If you feel like you're on a job interview whenever they're near, it'll cause you to seize up. You won't show your personality and

They won't get to seee the true You!

[Floridaman]

And..?

 

I'm 43 and a virgin, but I don't let it get me down because I'm in good company... think Isaac Newton, Beethoven, and Elizabeth I.

 

FYI promiscuous people do NOT appreciate having their lifestyle made fun of by people like me... now you know their one point of vulnerability. It's kind of like flying against a MiG, just use your wits and you'll come out ahead.

That's a good twist. Usually, it's the other way around. The "more experienced" like to laugh at the virgins.

 

I have responded to numerous virgin guys in their late 20s and 30s who somehow think women will ridicule them once they discover they're virgins, like in this thread.

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=380575&page=10

Am one of the posters in that long debate thread. Was Fla. Man there too but changed my screen name...

 

There are a lot of misperceptions out there.

 

Virgins aren't necessarily better than non-virgins.

Those who have had sex aren't automatically superior to the virgins.

 

It's all a matter of opportunities and life choices .... and the kind of person one is.

Edited June 8, 2011 by Floridaman

[DreamerGirl27]

It's not that I care about my age, it's that I'm so picky and I'm hung up one guy and if it's not him, it's not gonna be ANYONE, so I'm going to die a virgin, basically.

[KR10N]

It's not that I care about my age, it's that I'm so picky and I'm hung up one guy and if it's not him, it's not gonna be ANYONE, so I'm going to die a virgin, basically.

I'm not at all worried about losing my V card, but I can relate to your situation. Being emotionally & physically attracted to someone can make matters seem worse. If I were however in a position where I had the choice of a real relationship to a sexual one, I'd definitely choose the real relationship... then I'd jump his bones when we're both ready.

[TheLawmaker]

I'm not too worried about losing my v-card, either, but I am worried that I haven't even had a first kiss yet! I have nothing to talk to other guys about.

[DreamerGirl27]

I'm not at all worried about losing my V card, but I can relate to your situation. Being emotionally & physically attracted to someone can make matters seem worse. If I were however in a position where I had the choice of a real relationship to a sexual one, I'd definitely choose the real relationship... then I'd jump his bones when we're both ready.

 

I've liked the same guy for 2 years and I think it's basically because I want something serious and we've never even dated. He asked me what I want out of a relationship, and I basically said, someone to hang out with, talk to on the phone and I was too chicken sh** to say "have sex with", so I said, "ya know, I'm looking for the yin to my yang, etc." so I think he thought I want something more serious. Well, I DO want something serious with him, but that's when he said "and see, I'm not looking for that".

 

Why do men friend zone the serious girls?

 

They say those are the types men end up marrying, the serious girls, but I don't wanna wait til I'm 55 before some dumbo gets wise and decides to marry me. I think everyone should have the mind set of where they are looking for "the one". It would cut down on a lot of heartache, not to mention, unwanted pregnancies and STD's. If everyone stopped banging everything that moves and got a little more serious about life.

[TheLawmaker]

Dreamer, plenty of girls friendzone the good guys as well. It's not gender neutral.

[KR10N]

Is everyone that desperate to lose their virginity?

[Disillusioned]

Is everyone that desperate to lose their virginity?

 

Everyone except me, LOL!

 

Virgins are terrible, horrible, evilpeople! They'll give you leprosy! And they're bad, too.

[KR10N]

Everyone except me, LOL!

 

Virgins are terrible, horrible, evilpeople! They'll give you leprosy! And they're bad, too.

I'm a virgin...