Im an 18 year old virgin and have never been in a relationship

[DreamerGirl27]

I think I give off the wrong impression. I think every guy that meets me that I find attractive, thinks I'm some conservative, prude. The only thing that has stopped me from "getting it on" with a few guys I have liked in the past, is their inability to go after me/pursue me.

 

There is this guy in this band who totally hit on me and later wrote this song about how "you're too shy to be any bit of fun". Well, yes, I am shy, but if that guy would have given me the opportunity, I probably would have slept with him.

 

He didn't bark, so I didn't bite.

 

I AM looking for "the one" because who isn't? But I would have fun in the mean time. It's just that, I'm the girl and I'm not gonna do all the work. A guy is gonna have to come onto to ME, not the other way around.

 

Girls aren't supposed to throw themselves at guys, it isn't the way our culture works. Girls are supposed to be anti-sex and these little prissy, daffodils.

 

Well, for chrimony's sake, I want sex, too! But, since I've been brought up to be a daffodil, I'm not throwing myself at a guy.

 

So anyway..after hearing this song, I was just like, "wow, fooled you buddy. Little did you know you could have had what you wanted from me."

 

It was quite amusing, and quite frustrating at the same time.

 

I don't even know for positive if it was about me, but it sounded like it could be.

[Saraswati57]

Hey, just need a little advice in my situation. Im not trying to complain, just need a few views. Im 18 years old and i will be 19 in May. I have never been great with women. Through out high school every girl i tried to talk to rejected me. I am somewhat shy and i tend to get nervous around girls. I am also a virgin. I have never notice girls being very attracted to me. And i Have only made out with one girl. All but too of my friends has had sex or still has sex and all but one of my friends has been in a relationship or are in one. I sometimes think i have a problem, but some of my friends tell that Im actually not a bad looking guy. Im not "waiting" or anything, but im not desperate. I just need to know a little more about my situation and maybe tips on how to be more comfortable around women.

 

P.S. Im not really used to this forum stuff.

 

Dude,...let me tell you something. At 26, I'm still a virgin and a lost cause. You, you have a decent amount of time left to lose it without worrying. Want to feel better? Think of all the socially maladaptive that are worse of than you.

[Floridaman]

Dude,...let me tell you something. At 26, I'm still a virgin and a lost cause.

You, you have a decent amount of time left to lose it without worrying.

 

Want to feel better? Think of all the socially maladaptive that are worse of than you.

Sara... 26 is not a "lost cause" for any guy or gal.

 

Like I posted, I dated a couple of virgins in their late 20s and 30s. Had no problem with that.

 

I might have pressed them --- but didn't bec. of religious beliefs and I wanted a real relationship more than pleasing my then (and now) strong sexual desires...

I had had casual sex (2X) and found it worse than not having sex.

TBH, I'd prefered to have been a virgin in my 20s than the way things worked out in HS (before I came of faith).

 

In some "everything... but" sex play with one or two of them, I Phyiscally wanted them and think I did press them in those intimate moments -- but they stopped me from going farther.

 

 

Posted about my limited sexual experience in my 20s...

Yes, I had sex at 17, which was waaaaaaaaaaaay too early, but that didn't mean I knew a lot about sex, just gave me the taste of a woman's body.

 

Was a "5 min. man" for most of my 30s and marriage.

Didn't know a guy is supposed to focus on "pleasing the woman first" through long foreplay and trying to last as long as possible. Had no idea that a woman needs long foreplay to get her O vs. a guy's. Really only thought about my sexual pleasure.

 

Didn't even know what a labia was, until recently after reading some Christian marital sex improvement books.

 

Am reading other pyschology-based love and sex books. They've really opened my eyes about relationships. No, these aren't books with "pictures" and all about technique, but emotions and reasons for being in love and how to please your partner. May post some titles later as they can also help people who haven't had sex.

Edited June 9, 2011 by Floridaman

[TheLawmaker]

Is everyone that desperate to lose their virginity?

 

In a word, yes!

[KR10N]

In a word, yes!

I never realized it was so important. I feel bad for some of these people who think in order to be socially accepted they must have sex. Why would you let anyone pressure you? I know it's never the same for anyone. There are those of us who have to keep busy so our hormones don't over rule our thinking (guilty!).

 

Just do what us virgins do, & make your body your own personal playground!

 

Fight the POWER!

[DreamerGirl27]

In a word, yes!

 

::facebook "likes" this::

[Dust]

I went through High School and College never having so much as a kiss. I broke my rut by actually trying hard for a girl I liked the summer I had graduated. With her at 22 I had my first real relationship. The biggest thing I learned was the common sense that I was still the same person afterward as I was before. The only reason I even did better with girls from that point forward was because I saw the world in a new way. I understood that some one I liked could actually like me back. I understood that I could try to kiss some one, touch some one and it would be good.

 

At 18 and having already kissed a girl you are ahead of where I was at your age. The best thing you can do is have fun with life and chasing girls. Don’t dread meeting a new girl because you are afraid you will screw up, instead have fun meeting her and enjoy her. The less you worry and the more you just do and have fun the better you will be. At 18 you are your own greatest enemy when it comes to women because of the pressure it is obvious you are putting on yourself.

[TheLawmaker]

And you're miles ahead of me, who remains unkissed and a virgin at age 28!

 

Dude, you don't have to worry. You are a kid, you have plenty of time.

[Dust]

And you're miles ahead of me, who remains unkissed and a virgin at age 28!

 

Dude, you don't have to worry. You are a kid, you have plenty of time.

 

You shouldn’t worry about being 28 and never been kissed. Just enjoy life. Enjoy trying even if you don’t win. (just make sure you are trying)

[Mastaan]

I was a virgin till 23, I am now 24 ... I was extremely shy around girls and I was kinda desperate but not really. I am still with the girl I lost my virginity to, its been seven months. She thinks I am hot. I have always thought of my self as ugly. I had many problems, I am dark skinned, I had lots of acne since 14, and I had a lots of scars on my face. I have tried very hard to shape my self. Girls love guys that take care of them selves. If you love your self only then someone can love u. Eat right, exercise, get good grades, study and be smart. If u are well established and are smart and fit, then I can show u more than 1 million girls that will go for u. And these things u can control by your self.

 

That's my input, do not put your self down. Also learn to dress nicely and classic. That helps too. Get a job that requires u to dress up everyday. U will tons of eyes on u. See high school is nothing. Its all about your life after university. U become an engineer u will have hordes of girls to sleep with u.

[TimothyParadox]

Don't worry. I'm 21, and I have become a delusional sociopath because of my loneliness. I have never even come *close* to having a conversation with a girl.

 

Things could be worse.

[Floridaman]

I'm not too worried about losing my v-card, either,

That's the proper attitude. Don't worry about sex and focus on getting a GF.

.........but I am worried that I haven't even had a first kiss yet!

Shy and socially awkward me -- Mr. I'm Not in The "In Crowd" got a GF in HS. I liked her and everything, but most would prob. rate her average or below-average looking. I wanted a GF and picked the first one that showed interest.

 

The dating pool becomes smaller after HS and college and it's more difficult to find good dating prospects.

 

Dated sporadically in college and after. Awoke and tried to ramp it up at 25-29, where I had a couple of LTRs. Lots of kissing and some heavy petting with 2 of those 4 relationships (2 were virgins wanting to remain that way till marriage), but little sex through most my 20s...

 

During a short dry spell at 30, met my future wife. Though I was sexually attracted to her, I wasn't a player and didn't want to pressure her... Thought moving too fast might turn her off... (I didn't want to blow this one, which looked like a good thing, a Godsend to a lonely guy !!!)

We didn't have sex until 3 mos. into the relationship...

 

Posted my dating and sex experience to show how you shouldn't focus on sex. Had had sex (3 sep. X in HS and 2 sep. X at 25-26) and really wanted a relationship more than anything else as was getting lonely in my mid-20s....

 

Get to know the woman and develop feelings for her first... that should be the motivation.

When the times seems right for both of you, you'll know. She could be a virgin and new at that as well.

 

I have nothing to talk to other guys about.

You do need to put some effort into it. You just can't sit back and assume one day "love will find you." View that thread I posted about and see if any ideas there can help.

 

Think of it this way:

While you're out there waiting, some other guy is asking her out.

Think how you need to be the one meeting/dating her, not someone else.

 

Who knows. She may turn-down that other guy bec. she's not attacted to him or he doesn't seem to be a good fit.

You may be the one she's been waiting for.

 

Lots of women turned me down. I found it hard to get dates, too.

 

You'll never know, however, unless you put yourself out there.

Edited June 22, 2011 by Floridaman