lostandblurred Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Hi, everyone. I'm John. And I have no spine. Hi, John! Seriously, I'm new here, and I'm kind of posting regarding this problem. I haven't been here long, but I'm sure this is a real common topic, so I hope you'll bear with me and I thank anyone who takes the time to read my stereotypical teenage angst situation. I'm what some people would call an introverted romantic. Others would call me a naive poet-wannabe manchild. Though I don't really like the idea of being a "manchild," I must admit that both descriptions are accurate. And this is why I need help -- because the romantic poet-wannabe in me is clashing with my inner introvert manchild. I am currently serving my senior year in high school (I like to say "serving"; gives it a nice prison-y ring). I moved into town sophomore year, and the first week of classes in my new school, I met a girl. And after a very short time, I realized that she was the girl of my dreams. The thing is -- I knew from the start that she was also the girl of every-guy-on-campus's dreams, too. I was quick to decide that I had no chance, and though I put the idea of asking her out or even flirting out of my head, she lingered there. As the silent new kid, I lived off of passing words from her, or the rare instance when she might laugh at a joke of mine. This was almost three years back. Since then, I think I've grown into myself a little, physically and mentally, and I've slowly changed into a decidedly different guy. The one thing that has remained constant, though, has been my affection towards her. And it has become a constant as well in my mindset that she is unattainable. I have said that to myself over and over over the past years to keep my hopes from spiraling out of control and out of reality. I always figured my love would stay unreturned. Recently, I've been having a decent run at life. I've been becoming a little more popular in my own right, and I've been less shy than before (I'm still shy, but before I practically carried around a bag to put over my head, Charlie Brown style). So here's where the conflict comes in (yeah, sorry for the grotesque backplot, I've got the soul of a reincarnated hack screenwriter): over the past weeks, I've heard from a couple different people that this girl who I've thought to be unattainable, feels the exact same way about me. That she's been halted by her own thoughts that I am "unattainable". This is unreal to me, because I have never viewed myself as even close to her league. So, where's the conflict, you ask? What's the problem? For one, I am scared out of my mind about the simple act. Saying to her, "Would you like to do something sometime?" But I can get over that. More importantly, I know that in the eyes of most of her friends, I am just an awkward and less-than-popular guy who they say hi to occasionally to be polite. I am not funny enough and not cool enough to run in their circle. Can I ask this girl out when I know that her friends don't think much of me? I also have no experience whatsoever dating, so I am a little afraid of my first girlfriend being the girl I love -- I'm going to make so many rookie mistakes with her. I only have a couple months left with her before college, and if I can I want to make something work between us -- it would be amazing. If what I hear is true, then she is more than willing. But can I overcome my own shortcomings to live in her world? Sorry about the huge post, and advice is appreciated immensely. Thanks for helping a spineless guy out. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Manchild, She's attracted to the naive poetic-wannabeness, introverted romantic, less-than-popular, and some other phrases I didn't even understand in context--all that crap, she digs it. She sounds like a cool person, she's maintained your favor, and isn't as hard on you as you're hard on yourself. When you look back on your high school years, which do you think you'll regret more, not being the most popular, or not taking the risk to exit your poetic comfort zone? I understand that taking a risk is going to be hard, but this fear of investment won't do you any good in college, and your girl problem isn't going to get any better, at all. Go for it, whether the end results are good or bad, they're fundamentally good. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 You have a great sense of humor~ Ask her out and have a great time! (ohh to be so young again, NOT). Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 John - And it has become a constant as well in my mindset that she is unattainable Don't you think it's a tad arrogant of you to make this decision for her? Ought you not allow her to make up her own mind in this regard? Here's a saying for you. It's one of my favourites. Really take it in. Repeat it to yourself a bunch of times, if you have to. And good luck! Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream... Mark Twain Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandblurred Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 Thanks for the words of encouragement, it's good to hear... ah, see them. Just to clarify, my name's not actually John. I figured it was nice and generic. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 You wrote under a fake name? That's two things you have in common with Mark Twain--read Moi's quote again, and follow the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 When the very worst thing which can happen is someone saying 'no'.....you've lost little in the transaction. However, if you NOT ask and they were prepared to say 'yes'....you've lost everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 For pete's sake, ask her out. I know all about regret in that vein. Its high school anyway, in five years you won't much care..unless you find out she did have a thing for you and you didn't pursue it out of fear. Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 The only regrets in life I've had are things I haven't done. Someone once said: Of all mens words, by mouth and pen, the saddest are, it might have been. Go for it dude and don't look back Cheers, A.G. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandblurred Posted April 17, 2004 Author Share Posted April 17, 2004 This next week is the week. Cross your fingers for me, everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 manchild ...just ask her to marry you and have your children. you may feel out of her league, as, she may look up to your kind and feel out of yours. you may treat her like a queen because of your infatuation, and she may enjoy your quirky poet-side and find herself a king. true girls in highschool have been dating the "right" kind of men because their popularity depended on it. I dated a "right" but oh so "wrong" guy once too. after a while, real maturity sets in, and your wants become more important than your peers. I'll take the quirky, introverted guys anyday. Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Just making the transition from high school to college myself, I understand the high school politics involved in asking somebody out. Even though you may feel like she's completely out of your league, from what you hear from others, she genuinely likes you. Go for it, and good luck. Oh, and this is completely off the subject, but you write beautifully. Link to post Share on other sites
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