Speaking of strip clubs... (Q for other women)

[xxoo]

Women sell themselves short. There are lots of women that look good enough to strip for their man. You don't have to look exactly like a stripper. It's all in the atitude. unless, you don't want to strip because you don't consider your guy hot, thus not part of the fantasy?

 

We DO strip for our men, and enjoy it. (I do, anyway )

 

And men DO watch their partner's strip, and enjoy it. But then they ALSO want to go watch OTHER women strip, in addition to their partner.

 

So the equal might be (tongue in cheek here, because I don't actually want strip for anyone other than MY man) women going to a club full of hot guys and stripping for men OTHER than their partner....because we like the variety, or we are "blowing off steam", or because it turns us on, or whatever other reasons partnered men use to spend time at strip clubs.

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh, and let me add that I think some of you are making my point. No matter what the guy says, the women keep stating that no, it's not the same or equal....to YOU! but the man may think otherwise.

 

How come no ah ha moment? where women may actually listen to the man, consider his feelings without saying he's wrong and/or insecure. We are conditioned that way. Women can be insecure, men cannot, even if they have good reason. It simply is not allowed, and maybe that's why women see no equal in societal pressures and activities that may make men not feel so great about themselves and their relationship. Just a crazy thought.

 

I tend to find my guy more insecure about who I am hanging out with/corresponding with. He seems to be more worried about an emotional/friendship connection then who I might be visually attracted to.

 

I just think that is more likely to be the "equal."

 

As a wife I have always tried to listen to my guy's feelings. Unfortunately he is just starting to understand his own.

[xxoo]

Don't get me wrong, I hear women's arguments regarding strippers loud and clear, and I agree. It's not a great way to make your woman feel good about her self, at least pysically. Also, I personally think it's stupid for a grown man to spend a bunch of money to drink alcohol and watch a girl strip down to a G-string and get a peak of some boobies,WOW:rolleyes:.

 

However, make no mistake, women have their equal. If it's not the male strippers it's all the male heartthrobs they shove down our throats. You know, the one's who's shirts have to be removed in as many scenes as it can. Or, when they make these guys out to be the greatest human beings on earth, in addition to their looks.

 

If it's not hearing all about cougars and young guys (they now have a website to link the two together), it's radio commercials for male enlargement/enhancement, where the most recent one insists that "men your problem wont fix itself"..as loudly as she can.

 

All of above are VERY good points!

 

In a loving, mature relationship, all of this is just "noise" of the miserable masses in society. Just my perspective: if we all get busy making our own bliss at home, we will have less time and money to feed the trash media--and it will starve

 

Plant me firmly on the side of less "tit for tat" (pun intended ), and more respect for the our partners and ourselves.

[pyroguy]

We DO strip for our men, and enjoy it. (I do, anyway )

 

And men DO watch their partner's strip, and enjoy it. But then they ALSO want to go watch OTHER women strip, in addition to their partner.

 

So the equal might be (tongue in cheek here, because I don't actually want strip for anyone other than MY man) women going to a club full of hot guys and stripping for men OTHER than their partner....because we like the variety, or we are "blowing off steam", or because it turns us on, or whatever other reasons partnered men use to spend time at strip clubs.

[pyroguy]

I tend to find my guy more insecure about who I am hanging out with/corresponding with. He seems to be more worried about an emotional/friendship connection then who I might be visually attracted to.

 

I just think that is more likely to be the "equal."

 

As a wife I have always tried to listen to my guy's feelings. Unfortunately he is just starting to understand his own.

 

 

 

Hmm, could it be the nature of your past issues that create his insecurity? maybe he feels his wrongdoings could lead you astray. If he's really controlling about it, that's not good. Many times people transfer the way they fear they would act in a similar spot onto others. So, people who would act inappropriately themselves fear that behavior in a loved one.

 

Actually though, I think the physical thing is more threatening to men. Statistically, it's been proven that a physical affair is harder than an emotional affair for most men. They cannot get over the fact of another man with their wife sexually.

[pyroguy]

All of above are VERY good points!

 

In a loving, mature relationship, all of this is just "noise" of the miserable masses in society. Just my perspective: if we all get busy making our own bliss at home, we will have less time and money to feed the trash media--and it will starve

 

Plant me firmly on the side of less "tit for tat" (pun intended ), and more respect for the our partners and ourselves.

 

 

Amen to that! I admit to buying into it a bit. I can be vain and refuse to age. I'm a workout junkie, and my daughter makes fun of a few of my "Jersey Shore" shirts. She just can't deal with me being cool.

 

All kidding aside, I think it's become a bit TOO shallow and vain. Also, I was thinking this when I see all the swinger talk these days.I get them, I do, and I even know a few. I just found out that the parents of one of the kids on my little league team are swingers. It's everywhere, such that it's almost fashionable to prove how open and secure you are. I'm open, sexual,and I get it, but....

 

Maybe couples should step back a bit and focus on eachother a tad more, see all the positives about eachother, and build their own excitement before focusing on all the others. Like you said, no more contest to see who can outdesire others more.

[sally4sara]

There was a club the only had male strippers back in my hometown. It was not the first one. But this one in particular even had private rooms. It did pretty well financially too. However, most of their patrons were gay men.

 

This club was closed down eventually, like all the previous ones, due to morality complaints about how unseemly and shameful such an establishment existing is.

[sally4sara]

There was a club the only had male strippers back in my hometown. It was not the first one. But this one in particular even had private rooms. It did pretty well financially too. However, most of their patrons were gay men.

 

This club was closed down eventually, like all the previous ones, due to morality complaints about how unseemly and shameful such an establishment existing is.

 

Oh I forgot to mention how there is plenty of more traditional female strippers clubs in the same city that are and have been in business for as long as I can remember.

[Canuck1979]

There's nothing attractive about a guy shaking his junk around in a G-string. That's my thought anyways.

 

I've seen male strippers once and there were some women who loved it. However, I think it had to do more with the atmosphere than anything. Booze, music, men, etc...

 

Turn-ons for women are very personal. What turns-on one woman may not turn-on another...

 

Men seem to be universal when it comes to turn-ons. Boobs, sex, nether regions. It's not very complicated. LOL.

[starryeyed12]

It's funny how some people keep repeating the same point over and over again.

 

The point made from the beginning post was--> Male Strip Clubs = UNsexy. We get it and we agree!

 

The issue the OP brought up is why is something that is INTENDED to turn on women done in such a hokey, cheesy, unsexy way?? It's very odd, and a very interesting point that seems to have been swept under the rug.

 

Sexual clubs for women--lets not even call them strip clubs bc that is obviously throwing people off the point--could be a possibilty. And why the hell not? If some entrepreneur took the time to reasearch what would the tiniest aspects of sex and male sexuality turn on a women (within the means of legal), maybe we could come up with a place that is for women to "blow off steam" and have some fun. We have some ideas of what turns on women, but there is more to explore.

 

Sexual pleasure is created in the MIND. We know very little about the human brain in terms of what it can do and does. There are may secrets left about the brain. It's been called one of the final frontiers of science. So, we're sitting here trying to pretend we all know about what women and men want and how we operate, when in truth we know sh*t and that sh*t could be one study away from changing. It's not black and white.

 

Sex clubs for women are not about evening the score, pyroguy, its about have an equal place of pleasure. It's about why the hell not?

 

As for all this insecure men issue, yes it can be quite obvious when men get insecure and of course they do. They are human aren't they!? I daresay their egos can be more delicate than a womans. But at the same time it is still very much a "man's" world.

 

Look at all the women posters who don't even think that a naked man is sexy! Why is this? Are they gay?? How do they get off from sex with a naked man? By pretending it's a woman every time? Or is the only way they can find pleasure from a man is when they have deep loving sex from their husbands? Bc thats the only time a man is sexy, right? It's rather odd, when you think about it.

 

If women were the only true sexual beings then you would think by now we women would all be raging lesbians with all the female sex objects out there (and the media loves getting women on that bandwagon these days, but whatev). Yet, we still have strong desires to get railed by those unsexy male penises. Hmmm, we must be walking, talking contradictions. That's it.

 

With decades of brainwashing from powerful sources its no wonder we women are contradictions. We're turned on by sex with a man, but we are constantly told another--that they aren't the sexy ones.

 

Someone actually said that they would be more turned on by a guy in a t shirt and jeans than naked. To me that says you have been programed to associate man in jeans as sexy bc thats about all the sexiness we get from men in films, tv, magazines. If we were bombarded with beautiful, masculine naked men all day, maybe we would think otherwise. But who controls the media in nearly all facets? Oh. A man.

Edited April 26, 2011 by starryeyed12
grammar

[starryeyed12]

I've seen male strippers once and there were some women who loved it. However, I think it had to do more with the atmosphere than anything. Booze, music, men, etc...

 

Turn-ons for women are very personal. What turns-on one woman may not turn-on another...

 

Men seem to be universal when it comes to turn-ons. Boobs, sex, nether regions. It's not very complicated. LOL.

 

This is a great point.

 

But are there any universal turn ons for women? Could we identify that there are 10 or 20 or 30 categories of turn ons that different women could fall into? If we had 100 women maybe 98% would be turned on by a male massage, but only 60% were turned on by penis size. If we could study things like that then maybe we could create a better male sex club if we wanted to.

[xxoo]

Someone actually said that they would be more turned on by a guy in a t shirt and jeans than naked. To me that says you have been programed to associate man in jeans as sexy bc thats about all the sexiness we get from men in films, tv, magazines. If we were bombarded with beautiful, masculine naked men all day, maybe we would think otherwise. But who controls the media in nearly all facets? Oh. A man.

 

I was the one that said that, but you are coming to conclusions that are very different from my reality

 

Why does it bother you so much that other straight women aren't so moved by just a man's naked body? How does that hurt men, or women?

[xxoo]

Lap dances too?

 

Sure! But we just call if foreplay

[xxoo]

Why does it bother you so much that other straight women aren't so moved by just a man's naked body? How does that hurt men, or women?

 

Also, is there evidence that it was different historically, before modern media?

 

Why do you assume that being visually aroused by a man's penis is better, or more essential, than other ways men arouse women?

[dreamingoftigers]

http://www.curiousread.com/2009/03/what-turns-women-on.html

 

This has always been one of my favorite article dealing with female arousal.

 

I initially got it from a much better source then the cheesy website it is on now and downloaded in to my computer.

 

I just googled the words to bring up where it might be and this was the first viable link. Enjoy.

[Kristi can't sleep]

StaryEyed

It's funny how some people keep repeating the same point over and over again.

 

The point made from the beginning post was--> Male Strip Clubs = UNsexy. We get it and we agree!

 

The issue the OP brought up is why is something that is INTENDED to turn on women done in such a hokey, cheesy, unsexy way?? It's very odd, and a very interesting point that seems to have been swept under the rug.

 

Yeah, what she said! THANKS ONCE AGAIN Starryeyed12 lol. And I'm really not for or against strip clubs. I not for them if your married unless it's a mutually desired thing.

 

...and it's not even JUST strip clubs... It's the way men look as "our" idea of sex. But, to PyroGuy, first I had an ah-ha moment! I replied to you! But my moment was about men feeling insecure by scenes in movies. The insecure part at least.

 

I don't agree that hot celebrities are our version or replacement for male strippers. Men have that also: Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, Megan fox., etc.

 

Oh, and last, the girls saying we aren't visual? How many of you have seen a hot roadwork guy with his shirt off? How many women in offices wait for the gorgeous UPS guy? In our office, women used to jam the copier because of the guy they sent to fix it. I just don't believe that theres NO visual aspect of what turns us on.

 

We may not actually want to SLEEP with the copy repair guy, but there IS something nice about watching him!

[starryeyed12]

DOT: Thanks for the article! This stuff facinates me because I see such a discrepancy in our society--women especailly.

 

I have not finished the article, but this really jumped out at me:

 

"All was different with the women. No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, the women showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women, and women with men. "

 

BUSTED! We can be aroused by many scenarios, ladies, not just your loving hubby's gentle touch! lol

 

"And with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women claimed less excitement than their vaginas indicated; watching gay men, they reported a great deal less; and viewing heterosexual intercourse, they reported much more."

 

Busted again! Very interesting, but not surpising.....can you say repressed??

 

Ladies, it seems like our sexuality may be boundless, yet many seem unwilling to explore or admit. Ah, well...the search for women's sexuality continues. At least we can finally admit these days that we do indeed masturbate!

[starryeyed12]

I was the one that said that, but you are coming to conclusions that are very different from my reality

 

Why does it bother you so much that other straight women aren't so moved by just a man's naked body? How does that hurt men, or women?

 

It doesn't bother me at all.

 

And I didn't say that women should be moved by just the mere sight of a man's naked body. But it's possible that we could be aroused by that.

 

It was stated by a few, including you, that men's naughty bits just aren't sexy. I disagree, and I believe you formed a strong opinion of this because it's what you have been taught to believe--men just aren't sexy like us women.

 

You said a man being fully nude in front of a woman isn't a turn on because he is showing submissiveness. To me this points to a thought process that comes from an era where men can only be seen as the he-man, bread winner and women must obey. I see that statement as repressed sexuality.

 

So for you it may be true, that it doesn't do anything for you.

 

While I do have respect for you and your preferences, I still believe you to be from a sexually repressed age. You can accept your attraction to a loving partner and even women, but because women are seen as the emotional, submissive, sexual behemoth in your views, you cut yourself off sexually.

 

 

------

 

P.S. No prob, kristi! I hear ya, girl and I can translate! lol

Edited April 27, 2011 by starryeyed12

[dreamingoftigers]

Ladies, it seems like our sexuality may be boundless, yet many seem unwilling to explore or admit. Ah, well...the search for women's sexuality continues. At least we can finally admit these days that we do indeed masturbate!

 

I don't, I don't know 100% why. I think it is because its a letdown.

 

Plus I find vibrators ick

[starryeyed12]

I don't, I don't know 100% why. I think it is because its a letdown.

 

Plus I find vibrators ick

 

Lol ok, I'll rephrase---at least we can admit that some women masturbate!

 

BTW, it's all in your mind. I think you could make it a fun experience, but I dunno, maybe not.

[xxoo]

It doesn't bother me at all.

 

And I didn't say that women should be moved by just the mere sight of a man's naked body. But it's possible that we could be aroused by that.

 

It was stated by a few, including you, that men's naughty bits just aren't sexy. I disagree, and I believe you formed a strong opinion of this because it's what you have been taught to believe--men just aren't sexy like us women.

 

You said a man being fully nude in front of a woman isn't a turn on because he is showing submissiveness. To me this points to a thought process that comes from an era where men can only be seen as the he-man, bread winner and women must obey. I see that statement as repressed sexuality.

 

So for you it may be true, that it doesn't do anything for you.

 

While I do have respect for you and your preferences, I still believe you to be from a sexually repressed age. You can accept your attraction to a loving partner and even women, but because women are seen as the emotional, submissive, sexual behemoth in your views, you cut yourself off sexually.

 

Or, I open myself up sexually.

 

I'm not sure you can have respect for my experience and preferences if you believe they are inferior, lol. Different isn't always better or worse. I'm sure I could find some evolutionary theory about why my preferences are perfectly natural and healthy.

 

Nature or nurture, why fight something that is working so damn well for me? I've found great fulfillment and pleasure in embracing my sexuality for what it is.

 

But, please, I never said a man's "naughty bits" aren't sexy!

[dreamingoftigers]

It doesn't bother me at all.

 

And I didn't say that women should be moved by just the mere sight of a man's naked body. But it's possible that we could be aroused by that.

 

It was stated by a few, including you, that men's naughty bits just aren't sexy. I disagree, and I believe you formed a strong opinion of this because it's what you have been taught to believe--men just aren't sexy like us women.

 

You said a man being fully nude in front of a woman isn't a turn on because he is showing submissiveness. To me this points to a thought process that comes from an era where men can only be seen as the he-man, bread winner and women must obey. I see that statement as repressed sexuality.

 

So for you it may be true, that it doesn't do anything for you.

 

While I do have respect for you and your preferences, I still believe you to be from a sexually repressed age. You can accept your attraction to a loving partner and even women, but because women are seen as the emotional, submissive, sexual behemoth in your views, you cut yourself off sexually.

 

 

------

 

P.S. No prob, kristi! I hear ya, girl and I can translate! lol

 

Honey, you are setting up your own template against someone else's and figuring in some mighty presumptuous blanks.

 

From my reading etc. There seem to be some universally attractive traits to women like facial symmetry.

 

My template is set very individualized and I believe female sexual templates are very individualized in general.

 

I do not find a man acting submissively in any way to be sexy, in fact it turns me right off.

 

By there are other quirks to my template: a man crying can trigger sexual arousal for me. Most a man have a burning look in his eyes for me can do it amazingly well, practically despite looks.

 

Intelligent men spark arousal.

 

I don't know how to explain some of the finer nuances but I will put it this way: nothing I am attracted to was because of a sexually repressed era. I grew up in the 80s-90s. If anything effeminate men should do it for me, but they don't.

 

The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync were are still are a turn off to me.

 

George Clooney looks like a 5 to me.

 

Certain things that deal with personality spark sexual attraction to me, visuals come after. This is kind of a funny thing to say and I hope no one rats me out: I never realized that I married an average or so guy until a couple of months ago.

 

To me the personality and sexual traits that zipped along my template 6 years ago made him extremely attractive to me, my brain somewhat 'edits' the visuals.

 

It says: this man's extra weight is now a sexual trigger for you, this mans blue eyes and rough hands are now a sexual trigger for you. His blonde hair and even balding self are a sexual trigger for you. At this very moment I think about how he brushed onto my sexual template and it staggers me.

 

Prior to that the same thing happened with two (at least) of my exes.

 

My brain's template said for about three years with N: this man's very thin body is a sexual trigger for you, this man's very nice legs are a sexual trigger for you, and guess what? size doesn't matter. LOL. This man's brown eyes are a sexual trigger for you. And you won't notice his bad teeth.

 

The ex prior to that: The ugliest man in North America is a sexual trigger for you, his green eyes are a sexual trigger for you, his African-famine body is a sexual trigger for you, His hands in which he has a skin condition are even a sexual trigger for you.

 

Now something odd happened between each ex. Ex one's features stopped being on my template after the relationship dissolved. There isn't much that remains in my memory of him that I would still find attractive today. Same thing with ex 2. Both exes if I were to see them walking down the street would probably sexually repulse me, not even due to our history but because my physical template attractiveness has changed. They aren't blonde, they aren't blue-eyed and tbh neither one of them had an over-abundance in endowment.

 

Should this relationship end, I would expect that some guy in the future with his personality and intelligence would open up those same areas in my brain and my sexual template would undergo a rewriting again.

 

I think that I may be uncommon but that is the way it has always gone for me.

[starryeyed12]

How does getting turned on help men blow off steam? Isn't it frustrating? I know when I get turned on, but have no outlet for "release", that frustrates me...

 

 

 

The bolded is true for me. If I'm dressed, and the man is naked, that is generally not a hot scenario for me. He just seems ridiculous and vulnerable with all his unprotected junk out.

 

Maybe a strip club for women would be one where hot guys pay attention to us while we strip, lol!

 

I don't associate the term "junk" with a sexy thing, and in the context of your comment, I don't think you did either.

 

Look at that last bolded sentence. Why must it always be the woman showing submissiveness to the man to turn you on?

 

The study from the article shows that we women clearly have more complex sexuality to us than some of us even care to admit.

 

I hate to say this....but look at your avitar as well. It's a faceless housewife vacuuming-- an era gone by more and more by the day.

 

Please don't take too much offense to this. I promise you that I much, much more often than not respect your posts and view points. I think you bring a lot of knowledge, wisdom, and acceptance to people's questions. Sometimes it's just plain refeshing to read.

 

In this case, I just don't find it to be.

[dreamingoftigers]

Lol ok, I'll rephrase---at least we can admit that some women masturbate!

 

BTW, it's all in your mind. I think you could make it a fun experience, but I dunno, maybe not.

 

I used to do it compulsively. I think that if my husband were gone long enough I would probably start again, and it would rewrite my sexual template again until a partner came along.

 

I am sure that even 95% of women masturbate.

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't associate the term "junk" with a sexy thing, and in the context of your comment, I don't think you did either.

 

Look at that last bolded sentence. Why must it always be the woman showing submissiveness to the man to turn you on?

 

The study from the article shows that we women clearly have more complex sexuality to us than some of us even care to admit.

 

I hate to say this....but look at your avitar as well. It's a faceless housewife vacuuming-- an era gone by more and more by the day.

 

Please don't take too much offense to this. I promise you that I much, much more often than not respect your posts and view points. I think you bring a lot of knowledge, wisdom, and acceptance to people's questions. Sometimes it's just plain refeshing to read.

 

In this case, I just don't find it to be.

 

That is a subjective guess. I would think the opposite in some ways, if there was one woman in a room full of guys commanding sexual arousal and she could basically have her pick, that in evolutionary terms is power.