Author shawn923 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 It's all an Ego thing. I don't mean your ego, I mean the big overall human Ego. The pain in the ass Ego when it runs away like this. It's all so simple. You want what you can't have, or how dare she ditch you for someone else. So, you think you want her back, just to show the world. You really don't care about her, but your head thinks you do. When you finally realize that this girl is really toxic for you and it's just your stupid mind playing tricks with you, you'll see how easy things can really be. You've got to outsmart yourself on this one. Hmmmmmmmm... Honestly, i only still want her because she was just so damn good looking, by far my best looking gf ever, and i have NO other girls lined up that i would wanna talk to. Im lonely... And i still feel shes the one for me because during our relationship, there was nothing big for me to complain about. Its kinda like i was dumped by a model who didnt have much real baggage... It sucks!!! and it pisses me off. Her actions are terrible... and i admittedly to this day still want a second chance... I just wanna take my mind off it. And hopefully she comes back to me... Im about 10 days NC since starting over. School is out, so we wont be seeing eachother at all this week.. If shes ever gonna miss me, now is the time. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Hmmmmmmmm... Honestly, i only still want her because she was just so damn good looking, by far my best looking gf ever, and i have NO other girls lined up that i would wanna talk to. Im lonely... And i still feel shes the one for me because during our relationship, there was nothing big for me to complain about. Its kinda like i was dumped by a model who didnt have much real baggage... It sucks!!! and it pisses me off. Her actions are terrible... and i admittedly to this day still want a second chance... I just wanna take my mind off it. And hopefully she comes back to me... Im about 10 days NC since starting over. School is out, so we wont be seeing eachother at all this week.. If shes ever gonna miss me, now is the time. I don't really know about your situation except from a few posts that state she's pathetic and insecure. Just wanted to let you know in regards to your comment about her being the best looking girl, there's always an even hotter woman out there. There are plenty of hotter women who can help distract you and pass time so you can heal. Dude, from skimming this thread it seems you got a lot of decent advice and you need to start following it. Go out, have fun and worry about yourself. This is the meaning of NC and that is why an ex is an ex for a reason. Be safe. Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 if your still struggling m8 seek some help hypno-therapy, counselling something as no matter what anyone says on here it's not helping you when your alone with your thoughts you mind has turned into you biggest enemy here, and you need to put it back into balance. if you can afford it go. Your still young you have lots of time to meet the girl of your dreams unlike me so get yourself some help so that you can meet that girl. the boards are great with lots of good advice but sometimes your mind just won't accept the logical Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Hmmmmmmmm... Honestly, i only still want her because she was just so damn good looking, by far my best looking gf ever, and i have NO other girls lined up that i would wanna talk to. Im lonely... And i still feel shes the one for me because during our relationship, there was nothing big for me to complain about. Its kinda like i was dumped by a model who didnt have much real baggage... It sucks!!! and it pisses me off. Her actions are terrible... and i admittedly to this day still want a second chance... I just wanna take my mind off it. And hopefully she comes back to me... Im about 10 days NC since starting over. School is out, so we wont be seeing eachother at all this week.. If shes ever gonna miss me, now is the time. I would recommend you stay NC and start on your new journey you've been presented with. I agree with an earlier post saying you shouldn't listen to sad songs. The only outcome that will get you in inside, without your friends, curled up in a ball looking at pictures or thinking about the past. You have control... don't use your new found control to keep kicking yourself and living backwards. As for her being the most attractive girl you've dated. There is a world of females out there. Also, you probably don't have any lined up because you're not in a place to have any lined up. It makes total sense. Why would you want anyone lined up when you're having these conversations and thoughts? The last thing I would think you'd want to do is get yourself in a situation with someone where you didn't allow yourself to heal enough to actually move on. This is your time, embrace it. It's not easy walking away from a relationship and accepting that it's over, but it may be the best thing for you. I know, many of us on here have been where you are right now and were completely against moving on without our significant other. You will find someone who does not allow you to feel this way. Doesn't that seem wonderful and worth it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 I would recommend you stay NC and start on your new journey you've been presented with. I agree with an earlier post saying you shouldn't listen to sad songs. The only outcome that will get you in inside, without your friends, curled up in a ball looking at pictures or thinking about the past. You have control... don't use your new found control to keep kicking yourself and living backwards. As for her being the most attractive girl you've dated. There is a world of females out there. Also, you probably don't have any lined up because you're not in a place to have any lined up. It makes total sense. Why would you want anyone lined up when you're having these conversations and thoughts? The last thing I would think you'd want to do is get yourself in a situation with someone where you didn't allow yourself to heal enough to actually move on. This is your time, embrace it. It's not easy walking away from a relationship and accepting that it's over, but it may be the best thing for you. I know, many of us on here have been where you are right now and were completely against moving on without our significant other. You will find someone who does not allow you to feel this way. Doesn't that seem wonderful and worth it? Thanks, great way to put it to make me feel better Im currently on day 10 NC, since she last broke it. I havent heard from her since the last "but i dont want it like that!" text... I havent called or text her since. Although im still checking her fb page every other day or so, but im getting better with those urges... I miss her still... But im no longer crying like i was a few days ago. And im trying to convince myself that someone else will come in and make me feel better. But i still cant see myself dating again, even though she is... I guess i still have hope that shes gonna come back. I hope these feelings begin to change as time goes by... Or she comes back. You guys have said shes most likely to try again, THIS time i'll be ready... Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Thanks, great way to put it to make me feel better Im currently on day 10 NC, since she last broke it. I havent heard from her since the last "but i dont want it like that!" text... I havent called or text her since. Although im still checking her fb page every other day or so, but im getting better with those urges... I miss her still... But im no longer crying like i was a few days ago. And im trying to convince myself that someone else will come in and make me feel better. But i still cant see myself dating again, even though she is... I guess i still have hope that shes gonna come back. I hope these feelings begin to change as time goes by... Or she comes back. You guys have said shes most likely to try again, THIS time i'll be ready... That's great you're on day 10 of NC, but you're not doing any better because you're checking her FB page. If you're still FB friends, cancel the friendship and block her. This is not helping your situation at all. There is no positive outcome of checking to see what she's up to or looking at pictures. Also, why are you convincing yourself someone will come along? You don't need someone else right now. You need to get over this, and that may take some time. You should only be focusing on yourself right now. Also, thinking she may come back is also something I would recommend you don't do. Why spend time thinking about the what ifs? There are much more productive things you could be spending your time doing. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Facebook is a communication tool. You are still in contact with her so long as you keep doing the cyber equivalent of driving past her house and peering in the window. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Facebook is a communication tool. You are still in contact with her so long as you keep doing the cyber equivalent of driving past her house and peering in the window. Completely agree with betterdeal. NC means cease all kinds and sort of communication not just e-mail, call and text. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 K... Im getting better with those urges to peek like i said. And I had a urge today to text her and say some things, so instead i came here and am posting now... Day 12 NC:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Well done! Seriously, say whatever you have to say but not to her. It's good to say it because you want to say it. It's good to not say it to her because that will hurt you and her. Let it out. It's over. Link to post Share on other sites
MrStinky Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 She's not going to dump the current guy. Instead she'll be stringing you along. If she had feelings for you, like she said she did, she would have dumped him before or would have never gotten together with him. Aside from this Shawn, I have to ask you; this girl dumped you because she met this guy and now she's thinking about coming back. You went through hell during this period. How do you know she won't do the same thing again in the future? By taking her back, you're telling her indirectly "Well, if you meet another guy in the future and dump me, no problem. If you regret it later, I'll always take you back". Personally, I wouldn't take her back because in my mind she has tainted your trust. In my situation, my ex kept telling me there is no other guy involved up until the very last time I saw her. Whether or not this is true I can't be certain of, but if I did find out there was another man involved there is no way in hell I would take her back. I respect myself way too much to be someone's "option" rather than their priority. A real man Shawn lives life on his terms and doesn't settle. So in essense what your ex did, was openly cheat on you by breaking up temporarily with you, had her fun but now she's bored of the guy and wants to come back to the "land of milk and honey". Are you honestly willing to accept that? Even if you do take her back, you will begin to visualize how she was physically intimate with the other guy and will start to hate and resent her over time. Personally, I think you're making a mistake; if you want to make it though, go ahead. This is spot on with how I feel about my "ex"! JasonRules is a SAGE Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Day 14 NC. Still no contact on mine or her part... Days are gettin much better tho. I still think of her everyday, but its rarely sad feelings. I get more frustrated with her decision making, then take my mind off it... But NC has def helped me get over her. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Thought about finalising the NC process by deleting / blocking her number yet or are you not ready to do that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 Nah i havent erased her number, i honestly probably would never do that. I have other ex's numbers still in my phone as well as 100's of other ppl who i never talk to... so thats not much of an issue to me... Well today is day 16 NC, i only know the day because of looking at this thread. I have urges to contact her today, to see if she still was with that guy, and get answers, closure, etc... so INSTEAD, im posting here... It kinda hurts to know she hasnt contacted me by now, i guess she lives happily ever after with that dude... oh well. it sucks... I have a few girls lined up, but just none of which i could actually date at this time... Im still not at that stage. But im MUCH better than i was 2 weeks ago. I can live life freely. and i just gotta JOB so i guess i'll have something to do this summer. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Good to hear! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 and i just gotta JOB so i guess i'll have something to do this summer. that's great! a job will definitely help you stick to NC. you'll be too busy working, getting to know your co-workers, etc to worry about what she's up to! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 UPDATE: Out the blue, She texted me just now... saying "I miss your goodnight texts"... i havent replied. Whats next? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 What do you want to be next? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 What do you want to be next? Lol... I dont know. Of course i would want a second chance and her to bang at my door, single, crying for me back... So i wont reply. Is that right? I think it is... She still has a bf for all I know, and all she did was text. I'll ignore it... But it does arose suspicion Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 Lol... I dont know. Of course i would want a second chance and her to bang at my door, single, crying for me back... So i wont reply. Is that right? I think it is... She still has a bf for all I know, and all she did was text. I'll ignore it... But it does arose suspicion It shouldn't matter- she's been with someone else- why would you want that person back? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 Lol... I dont know. Good answer. Honest and precise. Of course i would want a second chance and her to bang at my door, single, crying for me back... That rarely happens, and when it does, most people who wished for it to happen recoil from the nervous wreck presented to them. Be careful what you wish for. So i wont reply. Is that right? I think it is... She still has a bf for all I know, and all she did was text. I'll ignore it... But it does arose suspicion There are millions of ways this can pan out, all of which depend on you and her and your respective actions, feelings, thoughts et cetera. I can't tell you what you want to do, but I can tell you life is a hell of a lot easier if you're straight with yourself to start with. If you can't say something to her face (or your face in her situation) and instead are relying on texts, what does that say to you? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 How many more times are you going to stick that fork in the light socket before you finally learn? How many more breadcrumbs are you going to take from her? What has happened the last few times you've collapsed and given into her fishing for attention? The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results. What happened the last time? Do you have that much of short term memory loss? Her text means nothing, zip, zilch, nadda. She's just checking her lines to see if her backup chump is still there. She has lost any and all goodnight text privileges when she dumped you. There aren't millions of ways this can pan out, only one. She'll tug you along, then stop pulling the chain, then tug you along, then stop, rinse, wash, repeat. Have you ever thought of it this way? She could be texting you, sitting there with the new guy and making fun of your every response. They could be sitting there laughing at you while they goad you into responding. Link to post Share on other sites
rayne05us Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I personally wouldn't reply, but if you do make it something very general Like "Hi ____How are you?" Don't address any of this "I miss you..." stuff because it's crap. She's just trying to make herself feel better, not you. Ask her how she's doing and if she persists with the crap, stop responding. Keep it very very light. Don't asnwer any of her ridiculous questions...and don't ask her about this dude at ALL...if you find out they're still together, you're gonna get pissed and say something you regret. And that will make her feel more justified breaking up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 How many more times are you going to stick that fork in the light socket before you finally learn? How many more breadcrumbs are you going to take from her? What has happened the last few times you've collapsed and given into her fishing for attention? The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results. What happened the last time? Do you have that much of short term memory loss? Her text means nothing, zip, zilch, nadda. She's just checking her lines to see if her backup chump is still there. She has lost any and all goodnight text privileges when she dumped you. There aren't millions of ways this can pan out, only one. She'll tug you along, then stop pulling the chain, then tug you along, then stop, rinse, wash, repeat. Have you ever thought of it this way? She could be texting you, sitting there with the new guy and making fun of your every response. They could be sitting there laughing at you while they goad you into responding. I didnt reply... It just aroused suspicion. Of course i thought about replying, thats why i came on here instead. If she does reply with something meaningful, how will i know? Link to post Share on other sites
Billie The Puppet Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 When she is no longer hiding behind technology and pays a visit face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
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