JasonRules Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Shawn, A year from now you won't feel a thing nor care about this train wreck. In all likelihood you will have moved on and found someone a lot better. It won't be that difficult to find someone better based on what you've told us about her. Just follow "The Rules"... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 Home in bed. She has yet to try to contact me since. I feel really bad right now, and im tearing up ... This feeling sucks. Why doesnt she want me??? Why did she do this to me... I was doing fine just 3-4 days ago before she talked to me. What, does she enjoy putting me thru heartbreak??? does she not see what shes doing??? Now i feel like shhit because shes with some lowlife rebound that she admitted to not even liking, as opposed to being with me, when im a much better man for her and i actually want and tried to do everything i could for her!!! It sucks... Im trying to avoid crying but i cant... Idk if its better to just let it all out or to try and hold it back... This is ridiculous. We've been broken up longer than together, and im still feeling this way ... Im truly scared that i wont find anyone else who looks as physically good as she does. And i love her... I need to either find a way to MAKE HER grow up, or forget about her altogether... which hurts so freakin badd.... Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 You will find someone better after you've put this experience behind you. If you spend your time hankering after someone from your past, you'll miss the opportunities that are out there RIGHT NOW with other hot chicks. You snagged one hottie, so you can snag some more. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 As hard as it may be right now Shawn, you have to stay positive. Change your perspective on the matter. She said it herself, that he's just a rebound and she isn't that into him. Take pride in that. He's a lowlife nobody. Keep your head up knowing that she's leaving you for a lesser man. She said it. You know it. If what she said is true clearly its a fowngrade for her and that should make you feel better on its own. You're a college basketball star man!!! Chicks dig you. Instead of pining over your ex, focus on going out and meeting new people. Give yourself the opportunity to meet new girls and take your mind off things. Like I said before, you just gotta take a step back and let things breathe man. Nothing you can say or do will change her mind so why keep trying? You went NC, she missed you and you crumbled. Go NC again and this time stick with it no matter what. Time my friend. You just gotta give things time and allow things to develop. Stay positive!!! Link to post Share on other sites
iceweasel6 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 This feeling sucks. Why doesnt she want me??? Why did she do this to me... I was doing fine just 3-4 days ago before she talked to me. What, does she enjoy putting me thru heartbreak??? does she not see what shes doing??? Now i feel like shhit because shes with some lowlife rebound that she admitted to not even liking, as opposed to being with me, when im a much better man for her and i actually want and tried to do everything i could for her!!! It sucks... Im trying to avoid crying but i cant... Idk if its better to just let it all out or to try and hold it back... This is ridiculous. We've been broken up longer than together, and im still feeling this way ... Im truly scared that i wont find anyone else who looks as physically good as she does. And i love her... I need to either find a way to MAKE HER grow up, or forget about her altogether... which hurts so freakin badd.... Dude, I so feel your pain - but as illogical as it seems, you have to believe in your mind first (you heart will follow), that it's pretty much a guarantee that you will find someone more beautiful, more caring, more supportive that your ex. It is a guarantee. It's not some make believe fairy tale story that you tell yourself to make yourself feel better - it is reality. But you need to let go of her, heal and grow to meet this person. Right now as you are crying, the woman that is meant for you is out there literally waiting to meet you. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to make your ex grow up. Only you can grow up and realize and learn that right now the timing for you and her is not right. Chin up dude. You will get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 (edited) Shawn i gotta say you've come a LONG way thru this entire thing... grown a lot and matured alot as well and its obvious in what you've posted. You have a ton going for you, so you really need to focus on that and let this girl go once and for all, she's not good for you bro. Get your self confidence back and start dating other women that will appreciate you and she'll be out of your mind. You can do it man... this is all a learning experience. Edited April 30, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Shawn i gotta say you've come a LONG way thru this entire thing... grown a lot and matured alot as well and its obvious in what you've posted. Indeed... Aside from breaking NC, i believe i have handled every situation that was brought to me the best way possible. I know i shouldnt have broke NC to begin with, but i couldnt resist since she was kinda begging for attention. And it BACKFIRED. anybody reading this, that has a girl going thru GIGS or if your situation is at all like mine, please try to follow this thread and NOT make the same mistakes i did... What that said, even tho i broke NC, i believe i still handled it in the BEST way possible. I can say i was mature thru-out this experience, getting played by an immature girl who plays games every second of her life to get ahead rather than facing the truth. Im happy with knowing i did ALL i could and finally saw her for the true person she became. Im sure anybody else on LS would have gave me the same advice, to tell her "him or me" and anything less than a "me" means leave her alone... She was playing games with me all along. Petty...... Im going to school today, last day! and Yes i will see her... Most likely we'll be in the same room, cuz I wanna sit with my friends today, cuz IT IS the last day i'll see them for awhile. Im just gonna totally mind my own business and not even entertain that she exists at the other side of the room. Im pretty good at handling this and gotten use to it... Even better, while she sits with fat-azz-mr-rebound, Ill be with my cute new friend, who I intend to date next! Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Like a baws...atta boy shawn! Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Shawn, you are doing so much better now. I'm happy for you Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I'd have to admit Shawn im impressed with how far you've come and how your handling the situation much more maturely than you were 268 posts ago. You've tried every single way possinle to try and make things work and she shunned you, her loss my friend. Move forward now and never look back. You mentioned sitting with your new friend you intend to date. Don't stoop to her level being overly friendly with this new girl in front of her just so she can see it aright? Good luck man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I didnt sit with anybody, I was there alone in fact... I was there first, she came in a lil later. Then her bf came in a lil later.... I never said a word to her or made eye contact. They proceeded to cuddle up, knowing i was in range... I packed up my stuff and left. THAT was the last time i saw her and my last vision of her. I cried again on my way home... ugh it sucks. I want her so badly and she rubs it in my face, intentional or not, that shes with another guy... Doesnt she know that seeing them will hurt me? Why the he!! is she still even doin this when you admitted to me you only got with him to get over me??? in other words a rebound. Why would she continue to be with him, in front of me!?!? is she that cold hearted?? It pisses me the fawk OFF and makes me sad at night... Oh well... I havent tried contacting her at all since she last text "but i dont want it like that!" about a week ago.... I do have urges to ask a few questions for closure, or to see if i can pry her from this rebound, but i quickly realize anything i say wont bring her back, so i stay NC... i expect her to contact me when she finally realizes her bf is a waste of time. and ill handle it then... Link to post Share on other sites
nyckidd Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I didnt sit with anybody, I was there alone in fact... I was there first, she came in a lil later. Then her bf came in a lil later.... I never said a word to her or made eye contact. They proceeded to cuddle up, knowing i was in range... I packed up my stuff and left. THAT was the last time i saw her and my last vision of her. I cried again on my way home... ugh it sucks. I want her so badly and she rubs it in my face, intentional or not, that shes with another guy... Doesnt she know that seeing them will hurt me? Why the he!! is she still even doin this when you admitted to me you only got with him to get over me??? in other words a rebound. Why would she continue to be with him, in front of me!?!? is she that cold hearted?? It pisses me the fawk OFF and makes me sad at night... Oh well... I havent tried contacting her at all since she last text "but i dont want it like that!" about a week ago.... I do have urges to ask a few questions for closure, or to see if i can pry her from this rebound, but i quickly realize anything i say wont bring her back, so i stay NC... i expect her to contact me when she finally realizes her bf is a waste of time. and ill handle it then... That day will come where she realizes what she had. Maybe a week maybe a month (6 months in my case with one of my previous exs), and when it does you will have the pleasure of denying her because by then you will be so satisfied with your life. She begged and begged me to take her back, and all I could think of was all the begging I did, and how she just didnt mean anything to me anymore. Just make sure you remain absolute NC, and things will turn out exactly how you please. Youll see Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 I agree with Nyckid that in time she will realize what she had whether it be a few weeks to a few months and by then you'll be in a far better place mentally and emotionally. That much is true. But i also want to add that you shouldn't be expecting anything.while you go NC go forth with a clean slate and a 'never look back' attitude because if you continue forward holding onto hope that one day she WILL come back, you will never fully heal and you'll be setting yourself up for more hurt down the line. Just go NC knowing you've done all you could have possibly done and thats that. No expectations = no new hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Christ, so she's abusing this other guy in order to abuse you. And you want to be with this abusive woman? Really? You like being abused? Think about it. She's a dick. Think about this simply: when you see her you get sad. When you don't see her, you get happy. Do you want to be happy or sad? Now do things that make you happy and don't do things that make you sad. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 i quickly realize anything i say wont bring her back Dude seriously now. For F*CKS SAKE. Do you STILL want this evil bitch back??? You need your head read dude. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Dude seriously now. For F*CKS SAKE. Do you STILL want this evil bitch back??? You need your head read dude. same thing with me... i have so much more going for me than her.. what she has done to me/put me through is epic, she is with an OM, lied about it, tried to take my son away, and has proven without a shadow of a doubt she's pure evil. and I still want her back. it defies all logic, and I'm really embarrassed I feel this way. and she was a complete disappointment as a wife on top of all that! Link to post Share on other sites
TheFamilyMan Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Read the 'Caliguy no contact' link in my signature. It's covered there. Be Mr. Cool, Mr. Aloof, Mr In-Control. ^^^very good link and exact attitude you need, IMO Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 5, 2011 Author Share Posted May 5, 2011 Like i said it goes against all logic but i still want her! I guess just because I hate being lonely... I still tear up at night occansionally. And it sucks... Just thinking of her not wanting to be with me after she told me all she did. Then she makes it seem like she's happy with the new guy when I can see right thru that fake relationship... Ugh it sucks. How do I possibly get over that? Just time? It's hard no to expect anything as well. Because Im always gonna expect her to come to her senses. She did a week ago and admitted everything I had on my mind already, turned out to be true... Now why she didn't decide to be with me tears me apart. I'm back to NC now. Honestly, I do expect her to eventually give up this huge game and try contacting me again.. She did it once. Maybe when she hasn't seen me physically in a week or month. And when she does ill reply "who is this" as if i DID erase her number. Something else im still holding on to. Also, I still check her fb page about once every few days, mainly for her relationship status. I know both of these are wrong for me to do, but the urge gets irresistible at times, especially since she's told me about him being a rebound. It's like I'm checking if she backed up her words yet... So yes, it's still killing me, mainly because of what she said last week, and did nothing to make it work with me It's gonna be a looooong summer Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 The only person responsible for your happiness is you. Let go of all the bad feelings you have for her and you'll soon find this delusional excuse for love that you are trying to construct will go too. And you will feel happier. It took me a year to finally cut all contact. Nearly 3 months on now and I feel many many times better than I did. I had to let out a lot of feelings, including hate and anger, in order to get here. Are you sure you don't have any of those you're suppressing? I feel as though I hung onto the memory of the good feelings as a salve for the bad ones. But letting the bad ones out meant I didn't need to hanker for someone I am no longer with. This is your life. You choose what you want it to be like. Make your own happiness. Own your own happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Like i said it goes against all logic but i still want her! I guess just because I hate being lonely... I still tear up at night occansionally. And it sucks... Just thinking of her not wanting to be with me after she told me all she did. Then she makes it seem like she's happy with the new guy when I can see right thru that fake relationship... Ugh it sucks. How do I possibly get over that? Just time? It's hard no to expect anything as well. Because Im always gonna expect her to come to her senses. She did a week ago and admitted everything I had on my mind already, turned out to be true... Now why she didn't decide to be with me tears me apart. I'm back to NC now. Honestly, I do expect her to eventually give up this huge game and try contacting me again.. She did it once. Maybe when she hasn't seen me physically in a week or month. And when she does ill reply "who is this" as if i DID erase her number. Something else im still holding on to. Also, I still check her fb page about once every few days, mainly for her relationship status. I know both of these are wrong for me to do, but the urge gets irresistible at times, especially since she's told me about him being a rebound. It's like I'm checking if she backed up her words yet... So yes, it's still killing me, mainly because of what she said last week, and did nothing to make it work with me It's gonna be a looooong summer Shawn, you have to get over the thoughts you need her in your life. It's literally destroying you. She's with someone else, why hang yourself out to wait for her. Why not start moving on and meet new people. There are always new and better opportunities and people that come along in our lives. Just that we can only start to appreciate these things when we open our hearts and minds. Break up sucks, however don't let this unpleasant thing gets into you and eat you up entirely. If you feel that you are still feeling hurt, think of what and how you can help yourself to feel better. Focus your energy and thoughts on yourself. If you can have the courage to start NC, in your heart you already do know you want to be happy again. So, keep up to your choice and decision. Whenever you sat through emotional roller coaster moods, tell yourself that you had been through the worst and nothing can ever break you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted May 5, 2011 Author Share Posted May 5, 2011 Thanks for the advice... I keep having urges to talk to her. I been listening to sad songs purposefully all day and crying. Im at home all day now in the summer... I hope summer wont be like this. I dont even feel like dating kim kardashian right now... I keep second guessing myself, did i do the right thing by letting her loose after telling her "him or me" after one day? Did i do everything possible to get her back? Should i have waited a little while longer? What about everything she told me last week, was it real? Does she miss me? Does she still love me? Is she actually digging this new guy and expect to stay with him?? .....will she ever come back? Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 wow dude stop torturing yourself... it'll hurt enough without listen to breakup music. keep yourself busy. Link to post Share on other sites
doubtfulwonder Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 You're reading all these great advices...now start following them. I know it hurts and you're probably going through all these what if's on top of if you did the right thing. Stop it now. Listening to depressing songs and being holed up at home will not help you. Summer is the time to get out more and do things! The weather will be nicer, please try to enjoy it. Do something to take your mind off her. Maybe find some events going on in your area, or do some activities you used to enjoy or would like to get into. It's not healthy if you keep being like this. Who knows what she was thinking or was trying to do. It doesn't matter right now. What matters is YOU. Get yourself together as best as you can. Yes I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes you just have to force yourself little by little. Then eventually you will be taking bigger steps and go on from there. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Your life is what you make it, your thoughts determine your reality. If you keep thinking that harpy is the best female ever, then you'll never get over her. She is insecure and pathetic, but in the end it doesn't matter what she's done or doing because she isn't you. She isn't dealing with your thoughts and emotions everyday, so what is the point of holding onto your feelings towards her when she isn't even there to appreciate it? You have to develop the courage to completely let go of this hot coal. Assume her new boyfriend is the best thing ever, assume he is the best boyfriend in the world and there is no way she is coming back. It will sting when you let go, but at least you will truly begin to heal. She is just a tiny insignificant spec out of this world that you can fully experience if you flick her away. Are you really going to let assumptions and the past cripple your present life? Finally, set goals for yourself. Whether it be physical, mental, or psychological, set goals. Constantly improve yourself to be the best thing you could possibly be. Make yourself so powerful, so that when you compare yourself to her she looks like driftwood. Set your goals high and out of your reach, and give everything you have to accomplish them. She is weak and reliant on others to determine her emotions, are you really going to be as weak as she is? Or are you going to take the next step. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 It's all an Ego thing. I don't mean your ego, I mean the big overall human Ego. The pain in the ass Ego when it runs away like this. It's all so simple. You want what you can't have, or how dare she ditch you for someone else. So, you think you want her back, just to show the world. You really don't care about her, but your head thinks you do. When you finally realize that this girl is really toxic for you and it's just your stupid mind playing tricks with you, you'll see how easy things can really be. You've got to outsmart yourself on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
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