Parents don't approve of love to travel

[Kristie16]

HI all,

 

I have sort of a unique situation and it's eating away at me. I'm 25. I've held short-term temporary jobs in my field since graduating from college. The economy and the field I'm are really bad right now and most of my friends have left the field. I have a passion for it so I've stuck it out. But it has been hard. I've had to rely on my parents for support at times. (the biggest time being when I lived at home with them for about a year while freelancing.)

 

But I've been able to save money because I'm frugal. I have about $28,000 saved up. I love to travel. My first job post college was abroad and I loved it. The temp job I'm at right now is coming to an end and I'm planning an around-the-world trip for about a month and a half. The problem is, my parents don't support my love of travel. At all. My dad is a homebody and doesn't understand why someone would want to spend money to see the world. A few years ago I wanted to visit a friend in Alaska and was spending my own money to do it and he got mad at me and said I was being unwise. I ended up not going. It's my money, so I don't really need their approval, but I would like it. On top of that, when this temp job ends, I'll return to my hometown where they live and stay with them for a while while I get everything in order.

 

I've asked them if the issue is that I return to their house between jobs. If they dislike that, but they always say I am welcome there between these jobs to save money. Now I want to spend some of that money that I've worked hard for. (I'm working a full-time job in my field right now and freelancing on the weekends and at night to save money for travel), but I also want them to be OK with it.

 

I dont know if I can convince them, just b/c traveling is something my father has no interest in. but how do I get over caring and seeking their approval? I'm already nervous about spending so much money, but it's something I want to do. But not having my parents support makes it that much more difficult.

 

I have a friend who just graduated college and now she's thinking of traveling with me. She doesn't have the kind of money I have saved up, but she said her parents would probably help her out. That blew my mind. Her parents would actually help her see the world? But it makes sense. It just hard because my dad only sees and approves a way of living that is what we believes in. He can't comprehend that someone might want to travel or gain new experiences.

 

Thoughts?

[carhill]

It's your path. Own it. Set up your own base of operations away from your parents and do what you want without guilt or remorse. That's part of becoming a fully independent adult. I bought my first house in my early 20's and became self-employed shortly after that, becoming a very different person than the path my parents had followed.

 

I think your desire to travel and explore the world is healthy. It will open new horizons and opportunities for you. It can be done quite inexpensively if you use your intelligence to make it happen.

 

The key is to have a plan. Whether that be a base of operations or a mandate to wander homeless for a period or to work-travel or whatever, have a plan. Don't count on your parents for anything. Knowing you're completely alone changes how you approach decisions and their execution. Someday you will be alone. Until then, learn to see those loved ones as a gift, even if a less-traveled one. Accept that their path is different but equally valid, as is yours.

 

As I always say, anywhere in the world is one sleep away. Where do you want to go?

[westrock]

On top of that, when this temp job ends, I'll return to my hometown where they live and stay with them for a while while I get everything in order.

 

Travelling is good, but before embarking on an around-the-world trip, make sure you get some key things in order first:

 

- Do you have any outstanding student loan, car loan, or credit card debt? If so, pay those down first.

 

- With $28,000 saved up, have you considered using some of that money to use as a down payment to buy your own home?

[Eve]

Do it but watch 'The Human Centipede' first, lol.

 

As said by Carhill where do you want to go?

 

Gosh, I hope your parents come around to the idea.

 

Planning is of utmost importance if you are going to sell this.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Kristie16]

No, I do not have any student loans, car payments or debt of any kind. I save a portion of everything I earn and put it in savings. My credit card bills are paid off in full every month. Debt is not a word that I grew up with.

 

I've actually traveled quite a bit. I studied abroad in Italy and traveled throughout Europe with friends. I also lived on an island for my first job after college and traveled to Asia by myself. So I know what I'm doing. I'm not just doing this with no planning involved. I'm experienced with it.

 

But my parents (well my dad) has no desire to ever leave the country. The farthest he will go is to the next closest state for a baseball game. And I hate that they at least don't understand this is something I like doing.

 

I'm looking to go to Australia and Asia.

[Sooner or Later]

Live your own life -- avoid succumbing to the pressure and opinions of others -- including your parents.

 

At the end of the day, and your life, only you will have known if you followed your pursuits, dreams and desires and lived a life fully of YOUR own choosing.

 

As far as living with your parents, I would have a plan to only stay with them upon your return for a short while and move out as soon as possible. You need to forge a life of your own.

[Ruby Slippers]

A lot of people who don't like to travel don't like it because they're afraid of it. And, well, misery (or stagnation) loves company. If your dad wants to spend his life at home in the easy chair, that's his business. And if you want to see the world, that's yours.

 

Personally, I knew from a young age that I wanted to explore as much of the world and its people as possible, and I have. My parents rarely travel, but that didn't stop me.

[Eve]

No, I do not have any student loans, car payments or debt of any kind. I save a portion of everything I earn and put it in savings. My credit card bills are paid off in full every month. Debt is not a word that I grew up with.

 

I've actually traveled quite a bit. I studied abroad in Italy and traveled throughout Europe with friends. I also lived on an island for my first job after college and traveled to Asia by myself. So I know what I'm doing. I'm not just doing this with no planning involved. I'm experienced with it.

 

But my parents (well my dad) has no desire to ever leave the country. The farthest he will go is to the next closest state for a baseball game. And I hate that they at least don't understand this is something I like doing.

 

I'm looking to go to Australia and Asia.

 

Well, I think that this time around may be the time that you eventually spread your wings and move once you return. So, I would factor in the costs of moving elsewhere on your return. That is if you return. I know of many people who decide to try and settle once they visit Australia.

 

Maybe one day the parents will come and visit you and will finally get why traveling is so good!

 

Best of luck,

Take care,

Eve x

[silvermane187]

You're 25 and have money saved up with no debt. If you want to travel just do it. If your parents don't approve that's their own problem. It's not like you're following your dream of becoming a stripper or something.

[tman666]

The only hitch I can see here is that you said that you sometimes rely on your parents for support. Any time you let the parentals provide you with support, the more say they have. Since you're 25, there's really no reason that you shouldn't be completely financially independent from them.

 

Once this is accomplished, you don't have to ask. Of course, it'd be polite to let them know what your plans are, and do your best to reassure them that you've thought out your plans and are traveling safely.

[Kristie16]

So I bought my ticket today! I had talked to my mom a little about it recently and she mentioned to my dad. He e-mailed me the next day and said they supported me in whatever I wanted to, including travel. That felt good to hear, although we'll see how he feels when he hears where I'm going.

 

The whole living at home at times is what I also thought was a problem and worry about. I don't want to live at home. I mainly do it between temporary job stints. It's kind of my home base. I ended up at my paren'ts house for a full year last year totally unplanned. It was supposed to be temporary, then I met and started my first real relationship and decided to hang around a little bit to see it through. But then I moved away preparing to start a new job. But then I tore my rotator cuff and my insurance is only good in my home state, so I ended up moving back home so I could have surgery, which took a few months to recover from. As soon as I was given permission to go back to the office, I got another job in another city. That's where I'm at now until it ends in a month.

 

My chosen career-- what I went to school for-- is really hard. It's like a teacher, low-pay, not appreciated. My parents have always been really supportive for my career, although they know how hard it's been for me, because I see my other friends who I graduated with giving it up and going into something else. I still love what I do and want to make it work, but it's been hard b/c the industry is dying and so unstable right now. Thats one reason why I wouldn't put a down payment on a house. There's no way I can commit to one place right now, because I have to go where the work is.

[Eve]

Kristie, I hope that you find what you are looking for.. and learn a whole lot inbetween.

 

Really happy for you that you have your ticket! WELL DONE! That has taken a whole lot of hard work to achieve. [/b]

 

Send your parents something to let them know that you love them and go travel, keep in touch and be the best you can be. Work it all out as you go along!

 

I pray you will find things that will inspire you along the way. If you have teaching within your heart, I hope you find also teachers to inspire and direct you.

 

Keep safe girl.

 

Take care,

Eve xxxx