Glove_slap Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 both female and male dumpers? or do only a handful even consider the thought of reuniting? Are females dumpers less likely to come back because they rationalize the break up + with the support of their friends? Link to post Share on other sites
happiness0421 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I think it depends on the strength/maturity of the person, to be honest with you. I ended a 6.5 year relationship with a guy because I knew it wasn't right for either of us. It was so hard, but I never once considered going back because I knew it would be totally unfair for both of us. My most recent ex broke up with me and keeps coming back every 1-2 days, begging me to talk to him. But he has a lot of emotional issues and has no idea what he wants (and that includes me, unfortunately). Although you may be right about the female dumper comment; many gals have more of a rationalization process they go through + the support of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 No body will knows.. leave it to fate... Link to post Share on other sites
Jerrica Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 from what I've read on here, it seems to be a consensus that male dumpers are more likely to come back. Usually when I end a relationship, I'm done, just not even interested at all anymore.....although with my ex ex, I dumped him and was over it the same day haha, 3 months later he pursued me again and I went back to him, and fell for him the second time, that time he dumped me and I took it hard ad made an ass out of myself by crying and begging for months, following him around in university. So who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I don't think you can generalize. All the (female) exes I had serious relationships with came back to me, but I think this says more about me than women coming back in general. I believe if a woman truly had feelings for you and suffered from GIGS then she will be back if you were good to her. With women, you just need to leave them alone. Typically, once the "honeymoon" phase is done with the next guy they start comparing and thinking more and more about you to the point where they can't take it anymore. In my case, my exes came back anywhere between 3 weeks and 3.5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I went back to my ex. And left him again as our relationship was ultimately flawed. Worst decision ever. Hoping and praying that they'll come back is a waste of time, it would be a very small percentage that come back and everyone lives happily ever after. There is always a reason that they've left and obviously it was big enough for the relationship to end in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I went back to my ex. And left him again as our relationship was ultimately flawed. Worst decision ever. Hoping and praying that they'll come back is a waste of time, it would be a very small percentage that come back and everyone lives happily ever after. There is always a reason that they've left and obviously it was big enough for the relationship to end in the first place. A girlfriend of my ex broke up with her boyfriend, but eventually they got back together and ended up getting married. The same thing with my sister and her now husband. They were together for 6 months, broke up, 3 months later they got back together and they got married 1.5 years later. Each situation is unique, but it does happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Nope, they usually find someone else for me my ex got with 5 guys before she met her new bf Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy1984 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I was with my ex for 6yrs and she wanted a break because she was in a new fun environment in grad school. I made her decide and she broke up with me because she said it wasnt fair to leave me in limbo. But we love each other and while she was asking for a break she kept saying how she knows we will end up together. Do women consider coming back to a relationship that lasted 6yrs if they know the guy is committed and loves them? Im hopping they do but not counting on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedlove1 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Here is my take: I have been in 4 serious relationships with pretty good girls: no cheating, weren't promiscuous, generally kind. On average the relationships lasted anywhere between 1-2.5 years. In every case I was dumped and in every case they reached out to me once more to reconcile but at that point I just didn't care enough. I think that if the relationship was positive and you both cared for each other than generally they do come back. But if the breakup was for something like infidelity, violence or another unforgivable reason then know. The human heart is a funny thing though and surprises happen when you least expect them. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 A girlfriend of my ex broke up with her boyfriend, but eventually they got back together and ended up getting married. The same thing with my sister and her now husband. They were together for 6 months, broke up, 3 months later they got back together and they got married 1.5 years later. Each situation is unique, but it does happen. I wasn't saying that because of my experience that is what always happens. It's nice for those people you know, but after 5 years on here and the pain and the hurt that's come across these boards, it's been so few that have even so much as had their person come back, let alone not get screwed over again. Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfly22 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I think many come back even if it is just to say they are sorry for the pain they caused. My best friends boyfriend of almost 4 years cheated on her. He always denied it but the relationship ended anyway. About a year and a half later he called her, told her ALL the truth and told her he would forever be sorry for doing that to her. That she was nothing but the best girlfriend, that he had not founf another woman like her and that he didn't want to get back together because he felt he had done enough already and the chance of a relationship was ruined, but he just had to say he was sorry. Honestly I'm not looking to get back together with my ex, but I would love to someday get one of those sincere apology calls. I doubt that will happen though... Link to post Share on other sites
Strength of Heart Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I think many come back even if it is just to say they are sorry for the pain they caused. My best friends boyfriend of almost 4 years cheated on her. He always denied it but the relationship ended anyway. About a year and a half later he called her, told her ALL the truth and told her he would forever be sorry for doing that to her. That she was nothing but the best girlfriend, that he had not founf another woman like her and that he didn't want to get back together because he felt he had done enough already and the chance of a relationship was ruined, but he just had to say he was sorry. Honestly I'm not looking to get back together with my ex, but I would love to someday get one of those sincere apology calls. I doubt that will happen though... Honestly, you want to get to a point where you don't even care if they apologize or not. Indifference, you could give a crap what they think or feel. Link to post Share on other sites
brightskies Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 As a female who had male partners, my exes always tried to come back. This didn't seem to be tied to their having less of a social support network. In a couple of cases they were actually far more sociable than me. Their coming back seemed more about one of the three following: reminiscing, ego, or genuine care. As for women not going back, a psychologist once told me, "Many women tend to have a harder time than men letting go of a relationship, but when they do it's more final." He said in such cases a woman will do her damnedest to revive a dying relationship, even to her own detriment. But if and when the full impact of her over-investment hits her, she's less likely to second guess her decision to walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosa Tamora Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 My first boyfriend came back to me 5 years later. He moved back to New Zealand and then 5 years later I got an email from him. He contacted a friend of mine and emailed me, out of the blue. He was trying to rekindle the relationship. He was an exchange student in my country and left early because he was terribly homesick and didn't want to continue the program, so left on good terms with me. But he never wrote, never called.... And then emails me after 5 years! He apologized for never contacting me, but so many years had passed. I think he wanted to marry me, he hinted when he flew in to visit me, but so many years had passed and we were living thousands of miles apart, so it didn't work. He continued to pursue this 2 years after, but I fell in love with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 It does'nt matter male or female or who broke up with who. The one who generally always wants to come back is the one who SCREWED up the relationship. This usually happens after quite a lot of time, but that is what always happens Link to post Share on other sites
NoLifeKing Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I guess it could always happen, but you shouldnt hope for it too much. I know quite a few people who have gotten back together months and even years later. the common scenario seems to be getting back with a first love they dated when they were young 20s 2 examples: 1) My cousin dumped her BF of 2 years her freshman year of college because they lived 6 hours away and it would have been difficult to stay together. she also told him she didnt think they were right for each other because they fought often and she couldnt imagine herself marrying him. well... her senior year, they happened to run into each other while visiting home and started dating again when they both graduated. they dated for another year before getting married and now i welcomed a new guy to the family who i watch sports with on the weekends 2) One of my best friends got dumped by his GF of almost 3 years our sophomore year of college. he was crushed and even more hurt when she started dating again soon after. I kept in contact with both, and for most of our junior year they spiraled into partying and rebound relationships. a little more than a year later on what would have been their 4 year anniversary they met up for lunch and i guess they explained how they both needed a break and needed their own freedom for a while. they got back together shortly after. now were all about to graduate college and they are engaged and i have to share the role of best man with another one of our friends....bullcrap! so it could happen i guess, just gotta leave it up to fate...if you believe in that stuff Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Men come back because of sex Women rarely don't come back as they generally have more options Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Men come back because of sex Women rarely don't come back as they generally have more options In my case, they all came back at one point or another. When it comes to human relationships I don't think we can generalize as each person is unique. Link to post Share on other sites
whoknowswhattodo Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I guess it could always happen, but you shouldnt hope for it too much. I know quite a few people who have gotten back together months and even years later. the common scenario seems to be getting back with a first love they dated when they were young 20s 2 examples: 1) My cousin dumped her BF of 2 years her freshman year of college because they lived 6 hours away and it would have been difficult to stay together. she also told him she didnt think they were right for each other because they fought often and she couldnt imagine herself marrying him. well... her senior year, they happened to run into each other while visiting home and started dating again when they both graduated. they dated for another year before getting married and now i welcomed a new guy to the family who i watch sports with on the weekends 2) One of my best friends got dumped by his GF of almost 3 years our sophomore year of college. he was crushed and even more hurt when she started dating again soon after. I kept in contact with both, and for most of our junior year they spiraled into partying and rebound relationships. a little more than a year later on what would have been their 4 year anniversary they met up for lunch and i guess they explained how they both needed a break and needed their own freedom for a while. they got back together shortly after. now were all about to graduate college and they are engaged and i have to share the role of best man with another one of our friends....bullcrap! so it could happen i guess, just gotta leave it up to fate...if you believe in that stuff I'm praying mine will come back sooner then years later. Haha that was comforting stories though. I just don't want my ex to sleep around and try to find something better. Because I talked to friends and they think that's what she is doing right now. My best friend told me she will be back. She's to much of a b*tch for anyone to really stay with her. He said she treated me like s*it but I was blinded by the pu*sy. Which I have been around and she did have some good pu*sy. But it was more then that I miss talking to her and cuddling with her and watching a movie. All of the long talks we would have. Going to sleep rapped in each others arms. Its the little things I miss most. When I would cook her dinner and she would smile at me or when she would look up at me in bed with her big blue eyes and say I love you. That's what I miss. Idk why my bestfriend thinks all I care about is pu*sy. I just hate knowing someone else will fill my shoes for now and once they get what they want they will leave her. She has always had a very sheltered life and doesn't understand how many liars are out in this one world that will do anything to put a notch on the belt. Btw the girls I slept with in the past made agreements not to tell anyone and it was purely sex. Which I wish I would of wated till I got married but it was a fun ride. Link to post Share on other sites
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