Downtown Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Racer, I am so sorry to hear that, as I did, you got mired in a relationship with a BPDer. I am glad to hear, however, that you found the information on BPD helpful in giving you a sense of closure. I left a comment in your thread. Thank goodness you are starting to care for yourself, Caregiver. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greeneyedrebel Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 It's been a very quiet few days here. This is actually making me nervous....sort of a calm before the storm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greeneyedrebel Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Last Thursday she said she was going to Michigan....living with a friend for a while, and was leaving Saturday. I actually believed her, and was actually happy for her..thinking some actual experience in life might be good for her. Today, she tell me she didn't go. She's let me believe for 6 days that she went. I was actually concerned about her travelling, and when she told me on Tuesday she had a root canal, I was concerned about that too. Again, I'm not sure what to believe. And she's mad at me for feeling hurt about all of this. ARRGGGHHH!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Last Thursday she said she was going to Michigan....living with a friend for a while, and was leaving Saturday. I actually believed her, ... Today, she tell me she didn't go. She's let me believe for 6 days that she went.Rebel, like you said several days ago, "with what money I wonder?" She never could afford to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greeneyedrebel Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 It's been a while...but a lot has happened. She's almost totally moved out. All that remains is 2 boxes of kitchen stuff an a recliner, and they will be gone Saturday morning when she comes and gets them. Some days she blames herself, some days she blames me....and as much as it all hurts..there is an underlying thread of freedom running through me. The freedom to not be criticized for being myself....from how I choose to fold (or not fold) my boxers to the really big things. Her mom still loves me like she gave birth to me, I know this from emails and phone calls I received from her. I don't know if I will continue to reply at the moment or not. I never said a negative thing about her daughter to her...nor will I. I'm not that sort of person. Let the healing begin for us both, and maybe we can remain friends in the future. Or mabye not. But I don't feel so broken and dejected anymore, and each day will get easier. I know that. Thank you all for the replies, advice, and sympathy. Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Rebel, thanks again for providing an update. For a man focused on computer science and legal work, you have shown a remarkable growth in your understanding of the emotional dynamics of the relationship you had. You've come such a long way in the seven weeks you been posting on this thread. You should be especially proud of the way you established strong personal boundaries and then enforced them to protect yourself. That is something I failed to do in the 15 years I lived with my exW. I wish the very best for both you and your Ex. Take care, Caregiver. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greeneyedrebel Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 Well Downtown....Computer Science and the Law both have a lot of logic and analytical thinking in them.....apply that to life for a change....and it wasn't really that hard. I appreciate the compliment though. It's a rough road..but light is at the end of the tunnel now. Take care of yourself too. Divorcementor....one of the things I have to wonder about is whether or not she has/had/will have the capacity to love. It's a long, involved, and quite complicated thing to ponder. Link to post Share on other sites
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