How have you learned to overcome abuse in a relationship?

[brightrose]

Hello!

 

I am just curious to hear what has helped victims from abusive relationships to get over the damage? I was in an abusive relationship (it was both physical and mental) over 10 years ago and it still comes back to haunt me. I seriously feel it is deep-seeded inside of me causing other negative feelings in my life. I just had a dream last night where that guy was forcefully trying to get back with me physically. It was one of those horrible nightmares that I woke from SO relieved that it was "just a dream." The relationship didn't go on for as long as some are in abusive relationships but WAY too long for anyone to be abused (almost a year!). I was a naive teenager who would know better to relive it again, but, how can I get over it once-and-for-all? I can only think it's helpful for the reason that I know what to look out for in men. Other than that, I need to get this out of my system forever. Enough is enough! We need to be able to move on from what sets us back!!!

 

Thanks and best wishes to everyone else out there who's had to experience similar!

[Irishlove]

Hello!

 

I am just curious to hear what has helped victims from abusive relationships to get over the damage? I was in an abusive relationship (it was both physical and mental) over 10 years ago and it still comes back to haunt me. I seriously feel it is deep-seeded inside of me causing other negative feelings in my life. I just had a dream last night where that guy was forcefully trying to get back with me physically. It was one of those horrible nightmares that I woke from SO relieved that it was "just a dream." The relationship didn't go on for as long as some are in abusive relationships but WAY too long for anyone to be abused (almost a year!). I was a naive teenager who would know better to relive it again, but, how can I get over it once-and-for-all? I can only think it's helpful for the reason that I know what to look out for in men. Other than that, I need to get this out of my system forever. Enough is enough! We need to be able to move on from what sets us back!!!

 

Thanks and best wishes to everyone else out there who's had to experience similar!

First thing is know that YOU have your own power and no one else has it. I have PTSD, I am no ones victim. Nightmares are just your way of putting it away. They have no control. You may never get over it once and for all. You use it as a lesson. You own it. You help others. Give it all over to your higher power and whoever abused you WILL get theres. Never fear.

[sugarmomma]

Recovering from an abusive relationship will be a life long process for me. Being abused changes an individual in ways that are almost irreversible.

 

I personally had to learn to own my power, stop being codependent and emotionally dependent on abusive people, set boundaries and enforce them, educate myself about all different types of abuse and surround myself with people who bring out the best in me and vice versa.

 

 

Its simple. Don't hurt other people. Don't let other people hurt me. And don't hurt myself.

 

 

Best wishes.

[brightrose]

Thanks for the advice! I think I'm over it but then it springs back up again. I've wondered how it might be affecting recent relationships. Some things just seem to get pushed so deep inside. Best wishes to your own healing if you've experienced abuse! I definitely learned by it.

[Tayla]

Brightrose- One is "not over it" but rather goes thru it and heals in stages thru out life. Irishlove said it well.

 

From dispair comes hope, from sorrow springs joy, when one can accept that it took one to gain the other, then your healing will transcend. I sincerely hope your nightmares wane and your true dreams (goals) become reality.