So we meet for coffee now what?

[momentforlife]

This month has been by far the hardest time of my life. the first two weeks i honestly felt like a walking corps. i could feel anything, my whole body was numb. i didnt eat for weeks and didnt even notice. i can full heartedly say that emotional pain at times is much much much worse than physical. its a pain that swollows your whole body. a pain that rips you apart from the inside out and no doctor or friend or medicine can fix it. a pain that at times makes your feel like death is the only cure. luckly that was five weeks ago. and although the light peeks through the windows for what seems like minutes at a time, at least i am opening the shads so to speak. the back ground of my story is much liek everyone elses, i meet "brian" through mutual friends we instantly connected but just as friends we slowly started hanging out, making dinner and drinking wine and losing hours in conversation. at that time i had no intrest in him more than a friend but as time grew so did our feelings. and one day we fell into love. a love so strong we could spend a whole weekend in bed just talking and being near one another with out a second thought. for a year we grew closer and closer. we often stoped and looked at eachother and claimed our of disbelief that we really couldnt get enough of eachother. we spent flus together and sunny days. he was there for me during surgery ( which at the time was the worst time of my life...until know) it was a very painful recovery and he changed my bandages and washed my hair for me. but like all good things we started fighting we got to comfortable and i started to get jelous because he lived with two girls ( in retrospect it was so petty) anyways "brian" and i always knew we were going to move in togther in may so for months we looked for a pefect apartment. it took months but we finialy found a place that we could call come. and it was set we were moving in, until we got in a huge fight and he didnt talk to me for 4 days. than when he did he said he just couldnt do it any more. i was in crushed we were to move intogether in ten days, be already had all our furnature. i called him the next day just thinking he over reacted but his mind was very made up. the next three or four days i called crying, begging, and pleading ( all teh things i knwo you should do now..) anyways i bumped into him at the bar and he said he would agree to meet with me for a coffee at the end of the month he said he missed me and loves me. the next day i txted him and he said he is in love with me and that im his Lil but what happened between us he just doesnt know. he than asked for more space aka NC. he also texted my best friend ( they are really close) and said that you dotn know what you have till its gone and that goes for both of us. so i didnt talk to him for a week and a half maybe more and asked him to go for coffee. he said yes and we met up. it was so normal i thought i would shake and cry when i saw him but i was just my happy self. he even bought me salad even after i said i would pay. he wasnt rushing off and we were really getting along. when we went on our different ways he hugged me and i said lets do this again next week and he agreed. its been 2 days and he hasnt contacted me at all! he really hasnt this whole time. im going to wait till next week to text him or call but its tough. he actaly drove by us and my best friend bbm him saying he drove by us and he kept texting her all night like would say somthing and than somehting 40 min later. he knew i was with her and she said hes trying to make a connection with her because he knows we are always togther. but at the same time i can imagine why he would want to connect with her when im more than willing to connect with him. ( i dont think hes trying to make me jelous and they really are like brother and sister) i also forgot to add before he broke up with me that week he kept saying he couldnt wait to live with me and ot have this every night. how is he so hot and cold! what should i do from here. also his facebook picture is still of us. he said he cant change it and he said he looks at my picture and misses me. he also brought up past memories when we were out for coffee which is a good sign.

 

please let me know what you think! i know its long. they only thing that has been keeping me sane is googling how to get your ex back. im trying to work onmy self and put my best foot forward.