in love with best friend

[guccigirl]

Hi, this is kinda long sorry

 

I have a best friend who I love more than anything. We used to spend all our time together. do everything. I dated alot but would tell my bf i'm busy to spend time with him. He doesnt date that much and the few gf's he's had hate me even before meetign me. he had one long term relationship and she asked him not to see me. he did for a while and eventually they broke up and then it was us back together everyday. One night i was out on a date and he showed up and i spent the whole night with him. At that point i realized that there is no one else i'd ratehr be with. It took me a couple weeks but we were drunk one night and i told him. he was all for it. told me about how he wanted to kiss me so many times. whenhe mentioned them i knew eactly what he was talking about. the next couple days were weird. he decided that we shoudl be friedns cause he is too scared to lose friendship. so i had no choice but to go along with it. it was still us spending all our time together. went away for weekends and on a vacation. every once and a while we would have a fight about "us". and he would say he doesnt like me and and he doenst want to be with me. yet he would spend all his time with me. and he would flirt with me. then one weekend we went away and had huge fight. we didnt talk for a couple weeks. Then I finally called him. he said he needs space that he feel like hes leading me on and he's confused. I kept making attempts to talk to him. we were best friends for over 10 years. we were closest to each other than anyone else. we spent christmas together. then after that nothing. he stoped calling me, we didnt see each other. i tried to talk to him but he wouldnt talk about it. he just wants to be cool. so eventually i gave up. stoped calling stopped iming him. then he'll call me and i ask him to hang out adn we have a great time. then he wont call me for weeks. and when he does call he has to have an excuse. he has to ask me about something. he cant just call to say hi. he still isnt dating anyone. I just dont know what to do. I cant take this anymore. spending time together once a month then back to ignoring each other is so stupid and makes me so upset. he's killing me. he has almost completely cut me out of his life. but keeps just enough going so i'm there. if he really doesnt want to be with then why doenst he just let me go. i let him go. I dont call or talk to him. The last time we talked about it he told me he deosnt know why i'm upset he just needs space and that i should know him better that eventually he'll break down and come back to me. he'll love me till the day he dies. se e he'll say something like that. adnd i get all confused cause friends dotn talk to each other like that. Shoudl I just stop talking to him altogether?

[Uno]

this is so f*** complicated girl.

 

well i dont like that type of people who dont know what they want. u know what u want and he confuses u. if i were in your shoes i'd tell him this, and ask him 2 stop confusing me and i'd definitly tell him everything u wrote here as well.

 

hope this will help