A conundrum

[OliveOyl]

I've been separated from my husband for over a year. I moved out of the house and into an apartment very close by, with my son. It took a lot of thinking and courage for me to make that move and it was a bit rough at first, but I felt I did the right thing and after about six months, things settled down for both of us emotionally, etc. We haven't filed for divorce yet, mainly for financial reasons, but I feel that will be probably happening this year or next.

 

When I first moved out, I'd thought maybe there was a very slim chance of reconciliation down the road, but about 9 months after I moved out, my stbx told me he'd met a woman and was seeing her. As well I searched within my heart and felt like I really did not want to reconcile, that any effort in that direction would be only because it seemed like "the right thing to do for the kids/family" not that it was something I really desired.

 

So here it is a little over a year. I just recently got up the courage to start dating, and met a man online and we are in the early stages of getting to know each other, but it's looking good so far.

 

Except I just recently learned that I may have to move out of the apartment. (The reasons why are not important to this thread, but all signs point toward the fact that I should leave. And probably soon.) Now here comes the conundrum. Financially things are very tight right now. Theoretically a lot of money could be saved by moving back into the house... but I really really DON'T want to do that. It seems like a HUGE step back. I can't even imagine trying to "fit" back into the house. My husband totally changed his dietary habits to something very strict; I'd just be a complete roommate (like I was before I left, but even more so). I just can't see any real benefits at all except financial and this warped idea that we are a family again... but we wouldn't really be.

 

Has anyone ever moved back in, or heard of that happening, after a separation, without the plan to reconcile? The only way it makes any sense is if we planned to reconcile, but at this stage, it looks like it's past that point.

[Soxfaninfl]

Yes, I moved back in for financial reasons and it has been hell. I still love my wife and want to reconcile but she does not. She also doesn't love me anymore. We are living like roommates and are trying to sell our home(short sale). The divorce is messy and she's does not want to be fair with the time sharing of our son. She wants alimony, temp alimony, wants me out and to pay half the bills of the house. She also wants me to pay for her legal fees. I only make 10k more than she makes and my debt is 58k in my name and hers is only 27k. I also could not date while I lived with my stbxw. It would not feel right. I want to wait until the house sells, and I have my own place.

[fltc]

Except I just recently learned that I may have to move out of the apartment. (The reasons why are not important to this thread, but all signs point toward the fact that I should leave. And probably soon.)

 

You could start another thread under a different category with the reasons you feel you must move, there are many people here from many different professions, possibly some help might pop up?