hearttopieces Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Just curious, hoping to hear some "happily ever after" stories. Personally, I think break-ups are always very difficult and it seems impossible to go back to where you once were... Or am I wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
iceweasel6 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Great question hearttopieces. I am also interested in hearing some positive ending stories. Somehow I feel that it's the exception rather than the rule. Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I've read one or two out of the dozens of threads I've read on various forums over the past few months. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Welcome to LS. I think they certainly do happen but i don't think you'll hear a lot of them on LS. I think most people post here to try and figure out what went wrong not to figure out what's going right Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Welcome to LS. I think they certainly do happen but i don't think you'll hear a lot of them on LS. I think most people post here to try and figure out what went wrong not to figure out what's going right First you have to figure out what was going wrong so you can fix it before you can figure out what is going right. I wonder if there are any studies out there with break up statistics. I'd be interested in seeing the main causes for breakups and how many end up in reconciliation, among other things. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 My ex ex's girlfriend broke up with a guy because they were having issues. He was persistent and chased her for a while. Eventually, she gave him another shot and now they have been married for 7 years. My sister broke up with her (at the time) boyfriend because they were arguing. They accidentally saw each other after 3 months and they reconciled. Today they are married with 2 kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Billie The Puppet Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 The problem with success stories and seeking them is you want to apply them to your situation or seek advice or techniques used. Reality is more likely than not this sets you up for rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeIsGreat Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 It's really hard to say since I don't think people that are 'success stories' stay on LS and report their progress. There is something I have noticed about my own break-ups..... it seems a break-up itself causes so much damage to a relationship that even if some of the other items (or reasons for the break-up) are fixed or addressed the pain of the break-up can make it too hard to get back together. Link to post Share on other sites
todd Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I feel like people do not really want to post success stories too much on this site and others. It gives false hope to others that are currently trying to move on from their exs. Like billie said, I think most people in the beginning of their NC seek out hope that they will get back with their ex down the road. You can not have this kind of thinking and need to move past that thought at all... but in the spirit of being counter-productive to everyone on here trying to move on but still looking for hope that they will get back with their ex I will give you a few close to me. My oldest sister dated her bf for roughly 2 years in college, broke up for 6 months with almost no contact. They started up talks again, were friends a month or two and then decided to get back together. They have been married for 5 years and expecting their second kid in May. My middle sis date her bf for 1.5 years (met at end of college), they broke up for 2 months, then got back together and have been married 3 years. They are expecting their first kid in May also! My best friend dating his ex in high school for roughly 8 months and they decided they were too young and wanted to split for college. He met up with her towards the end of college and they hit it off again. They have now been dating for 2 years and are getting married in Sept. All these relationships were ended on good terms, no cheating involved, or real hatred towards the other. I think that is one of the reasons for the second chances after everyone has settled into their own and had time to mature. Again you shouldn't focus on these situations as hope for your own. You need to move on, focus on yourself, and just let the cards fall as they may. It might work out it might not in the future with an ex but either way you should be moving forward in your own life not sitting idle waiting for every crumb from a ex to arrive in a text message or an email address. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
citrusdrop1688 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 My ex's brother and his girlfriend broke up about a year ago, got back together after about 3 months and just got engaged like a week ago. They r planning on getting married in September. The story with my ex is that we are not back together yet, but actively trying to work out our problems that made us break up, and we both know thats where we're headed I do agree that the most important part to a successful reconciliation is how the break up went. Did it end with love and honesty or in anger and betrayal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 citrus had your ex been seeing someone or is still seeing someone during this period? and if yours ended in love do you mean by that do you mean like you kind of parted friends but still were hurt by each other? Link to post Share on other sites
ahoy Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 My success story is that I found this site, took on the advice of its members and changed the way I think and feel. I feel that many others here would share this opinion - or at least will in the future, when their head clears up a bit Link to post Share on other sites
iceweasel6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 todd, What you wrote make sense (how the relationship ended). I wonder to what degree the content of the relationship determines if reconciliation is possible despite a positive breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Reconciliation is only possible when both mutually agreed and emotionally ready for it. In many cases, one wants reconciliation, the other still sticks on firmly with the break up decision. In this case, reconciliation will never work out. When they want to break up with you, they have already made the choice and decision that they don't want you in their lives. So it goes the same for dumpees, have to let go of our exes. Take the end of a relationship as a blessing because a fullstop(.) is better than a comma (,). An end to a failed relationship brings a new chapter in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
iceweasel6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Fufu - that's tough love, damn! Reminds me of a song - Break Even - by the Script. When a relationship breakup occurs usually one person walks away with a greater part of someones heart than the other - partly due to expectancy - one person is expecting a breakup, the other isn't. At the end of the day, I don't believe things are so black and white - fullstop vs. comma. You have to understand the situation, stressors, and information used to make the decision. It's quite relative and more grey than black and white. As someone who likes reducing things to black and white issues for simplicity purposes, it only serves as a self-soothing behavior. Makes you feel better about managing something that initially seems unmanageable. True - they want to break up with you. Let them, you can't control anyones actions but your own. But take it for what it's worth - I would suggest to not condense it into something manageable as a fullstop or a comma. Life is surprising. You really don't know what can happen in the next 10 minutes, much less the next 24 hours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I am currently seeing my ex and we are on our third reconciliation after a six-month break up. We have broken up for numerous reasons - first, he wouldn't stop talking to an exgirlfriend who broke us up when we first started dating four years ago, second we had a miscarriage that neither of us handled well, and third we both had major life changes and didn't handle the stress very well at all (on either side). I think we are both prepared to handle our relationship with much more care than before because we are older and more mature and have learned a lot about ourselves. However, as someone else mentioned already, there was a TON of hurt caused during all three of these breakups, and so it may prove to be too much for one or both of us to let go. You certainly can't have a happy relationship if you're constantly bringing up past hurts and feeling resentful half the time. So, who knows? For right now, he and I have had several really great weekends together and we are both making efforts to modify behaviors that in the past were really detrimental. But it takes A LOT of work and effort, and both people have to want to work at things and make positive changes in the relationship, or you will just face the same problems and another break up. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 stace did you guys keep in contact during your time apart? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Fufu - that's tough love, damn! Reminds me of a song - Break Even - by the Script. When a relationship breakup occurs usually one person walks away with a greater part of someones heart than the other - partly due to expectancy - one person is expecting a breakup, the other isn't. At the end of the day, I don't believe things are so black and white - fullstop vs. comma. You have to understand the situation, stressors, and information used to make the decision. It's quite relative and more grey than black and white. As someone who likes reducing things to black and white issues for simplicity purposes, it only serves as a self-soothing behavior. Makes you feel better about managing something that initially seems unmanageable. True - they want to break up with you. Let them, you can't control anyones actions but your own. But take it for what it's worth - I would suggest to not condense it into something manageable as a fullstop or a comma. Life is surprising. You really don't know what can happen in the next 10 minutes, much less the next 24 hours. Hehe, what I meant was taking the end of a relationship as a full stop and move on with life. No point struggling and confusing ownself and refusing to move on just because our exes walk out on us. Link to post Share on other sites
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