etniesgirl21 Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Why is it so hard for a guy to call a girl after he asks for her number? I'll start at the beginning. I have had so many guys ask me for my number, but then only a handful of them ever call me. A couple months ago, I dated this guy and after about a month of dating, he told me he wasn't even going to call me after he first asked for my number. And so recently this last week, I met this guy and we flirted a lot, and he gave me his number. So I called him and we talked for an hour. I ended up driving to his house a couple days later, and hanging out with him all day. We had an awesome time and he kept telling me how glad he was that I called him, and blah blah blah. So, yes, we did sleep together (we were safe, don't worry about that). And he called me a couple days later and was still so excited about being with me and wanting to have sex again, and see me again. He would text message me and tell me all this cute stuff. Well, it's been a couple days since I've heard from him, and I don't think I will hear from him again. I would totally understand if he had never called me again after we slept together, because a lot of people have one night stands like that. But the fact that he called me after, and really sounded like he wanted to see me again, and that he really liked me confuses me. So why isn't he calling now? I honestly don't care that much if I never see him again, but I just want to know why. I'm not a person who has one night stands ever. So it's not that I just throw myself at guys and they get what they want and thats why they don't call me again, because thats not me at all. Its unusual that I even slept with this guy. So anyway, guys or girls, if you have any opinions on this please tell me!!!! I'm just ready to give up on meeting a good guy!! Its frustrating! Girls, do you have any stories like this??? Any opinions would be great!! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Generally, one night stands don't build into relationships. That's why they are called one night stands. It really doesn't matter if it was out of character for you to have sex on the first date or not....with THIS GUY you did. If he had dated you in the first place because he really liked you, had known you awhile, you guys had become friends....THEN, it may be a little different. But, if he met you on the phone, you talk an hour, you drive to his house and he gets sex from you......he has NO REASON to call you back. He's going to hang out on a date chat line hoping for the next chic who will repond the way you did. Chances are, you aren't even the first one. You can't blame this guy. You have to blame yourself for giving him power to make you feel cheap and used. It's not the end of the world. It was a MISTAKE! The important part is...avoid from putting yourself in that position with the next guy you date. Guys SAY they want an easy girl....but let me tell you....that simply isn't true. I don't care what society or the media says.....guys prefer girls who don't sleep around and don't sleep with them all that easily. If they tell you different....they aren't being truthful. Link to post Share on other sites
TazmaGurl Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 "So it's not that I just throw myself at guys and they get what they want and thats why they don't call me again, because thats not me at all." But you did say you give out your number alot and "only" a handful of guys responded. Of course I haven't been to a club in years, and never been asked for my number, if you are extremely popular I can understand giving out your number to so many that a handful of guys would be deemed "only". I would still consider this a tad too forward. Hun, could it be your just trying to hard? Let it happen on its own. Don't give in to just having sex when you finally do get a call back. Let the guys have something to work towards. On another note, maybe he is waiting for you to call back and is feeling the same worry about you? Tazmagurl Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Where are you when these guys ask for your #? I'm not a person who has one night stands ever. So it's not that I just throw myself at guys and they get what they want and thats why they don't call me again, because thats not me at all. But isn't that exactly what you just did? Link to post Share on other sites
Author etniesgirl21 Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 I understand that with one night stands, thats all it is. But I'm not just talking about this time that I told you about. I given out my number at a lot of different places, work, church events, etc. I don't just give out my number to guys at bars and expect them to call back. If its a one night stand, I know why guys don't call back, but if its not, and when I don't sleep with the guy, why do they not call? All I'm asking you is, is it the guys problem, like is this normal with guys, are they afraid, etc, OR is it my problem? Not that you'll be able to answer this with facts, but I just need an opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 I wouldn't say its normal. When I ask a girl for a number theres usually a reason....homework, phone sex, ect. They are prolly some kitties or maybe you give them some reason for them not to call you? Every girl I've ever got a # for I've called her at least once Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 I got a number last week or the week before that...don't really remember... I'm not that interested... But hey I got a number! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Originally posted by etniesgirl21 ...So, yes, we did sleep together (we were safe, don't worry about that)... So, by "safe", you mean that you two got tested before you had sex, waited for the results and followed the instructions given to you by the doctor that did the testing, as well as used a condom? Condoms do not protect against STDs 100%. In fact, there are a large number of STDs that condoms can NOT protect against. I know you had the best intentions, but remember to be safer in the future. It would be wise to get tested soon after this. One can not be too safe. I honestly don't care that much if I never see him again, but I just want to know why. If I met up with a girl and had sex/knew I could have had sex with her that quickly, I probably would not be interested in a relationship with her. That just doesn't say much for the girl in my opinion, and from experience it is something I tend to want to stay away from. Maybe that is what this guy decided, even if he had to think about it for a while, after he called you the second day. I'm not a person who has one night stands ever. So it's not that I just throw myself at guys and they get what they want and thats why they don't call me again, because thats not me at all. Its unusual that I even slept with this guy.... A lot of the girls that have repeatedly done these things, at least the ones I made the mistake of getting involved with, said the exact same things. Then they did exactly what they said they don't normally do... again... and again... and again. I'm not saying you did this on purpose, or that you even fit into this category, but I hope this teaches you that you should respect yourself more to wait before jumping into intimacy again. I say this especially because this situation is bugging you. And please, get tested. Make sure that nothing worse than being a little upset came out of this. I just noticed a few familiar warning signs in your post. Take care and good luck in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
WWDDFD Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 I call back. Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 etniesgirl21..........listen to Arabess's analysis. My ex had 15 one night stands with no call backs, and ende dup in therapy for 2 years because she felt dirty and suicidal. The fact is, ...she did have some head issues, but.....guys don't have to have sex on the spot, so if you want their respect and are worth a phone call....don't put out on command. Guys will usually assume if you did it for them right away, you're doing it for "everyone". It's hard enough to build trust in a relationship without permiscuity. Make the guys believe you are worth a phone call. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY MEN DON'T CALL!!! 10. SUNDAY: They think they forgot to ask for your number. 9. MONDAY: They did remember they had asked for your number, but they're pretty sure they forgot to write it down. 8. TUESDAY: No wait--they know they wrote it down somewhere-- but can't remember where they put the paper it was written on at. 7. WEDNESDAY: They found a paper with a phone number on it, but they forgot to put a name down. Who's number it is they can never be sure. 6. THURSDAY: While looking in their wallet they accidentally find the paper with your name and phone number written on it, but there could be another woman with the name, "Rezandafia", and they don't want to look like a fool and call the wrong one. 5. FRIDAY: They are pretty sure they haven't dated any other "Rezandafia" (of course, a man can never be too sure), so they decide to call you. After searching for minutes they finally find the paper with your name and phone number on it --but they found it while reaching for the TV remote. They will call you later. 4. SATURDAY: They go to call you, but they can't find the paper with your name and number on it. 3. SUNDAY: They find the paper with your name and number on it, but now they can't find the phone. 2. MONDAY: They found the phone, but can't figure out how to work the buttons. And the number one reason men don't call... 1. TUESDAY: They found the paper, with your name, with your number, and they found the phone and figured out how to work the buttons. But they can't remember who "Rezandafia" was! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 I suspect, Vivid, you've got it pegged Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 Originally posted by etniesgirl21 Why is it so hard for a guy to call a girl after he asks for her number? I'll start at the beginning. I have had so many guys ask me for my number, but then only a handful of them ever call me. This sounds weird to me, since every time a man asked for my number and was given it, they called. One guy called me about two months later he got my number, which left me puzzled. Mind, I'm average looking, I'm not very pretty. Perhaps it's just that they were not people I met at pubs, or bars, but always friends or acquaintances of friends of mine. And none of them were drunk. There is one thing I noticed, a lot of people-men and ladies-ask for phone numbers just as a polite way to terminate a conversation. they ask for your number while leaving or getting back to their friends, and it's to them just a way to say:hey, it was nice talking to you. might that be the case? Link to post Share on other sites
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