this just don't feel right.

[candy]

lately my b'f has been in a really really good mood, so good i had to ask him if he got laid or something, no joke, totally serious here. now why would i complain about something like this? well because it feels so funny, i am not use to it at all. we have been together for over two years and they have been good, and he is good and he is also a jerk at times, i think i got use to him being a jerk most days and always looking forward to him being in a good mood, but now that he is in a good moood, i am waiting for him to be in a bad mood again cause this is starting to feel phony for me to act happy all the time that he is in a good mood. confusing? try living with it! most of the time in the past, the very recent past, a couple weeks maybe he was moody, up and down every day, now he has leveled out, but for how long i don't know. he actually blew up at me today over something stupid, and i asked him "are you having a bad day" or "are you hungry"? cause i know when hungry your blood sugar drops and that can make you irritable, he said "no" to both questions and i said "i have to go now i'm busy cleaning" he said, bye. he later called and acted as if nothing happens so i let it pass too. well it felt sorta good when he was mad at me for a minute cause it seems to feel normal not so phony. it's not like i look for fights or abuse or whatever, just too much niceness and sweet things that he is saying make me feel funny, like what is going on with you. i do like it to a point but enough already. maybe i am just use to the tension and that is what feels normal, heck at one point not too long ago i was ready to leave him cause of his impatience, and moodiness, but now he seems to of changed. i also have been telling him one word lately "communication" i tell him i want more communication with him, not him staring at the t.v. when i try to talk to him, or just ignoring me, so maybe that is what i finally got and don't know how to deal with it. what should i do, on my part, i don't want to burst him happiness bubble, but i don't feel like i can be myself either, like i have to be the same way or he will lose his good mood. i don't really want him to lose his good mood, but i don't want to play along like i'm always in one, but i don't want to rub off on him either, for some reason this is actually stressing me out. what is wrong with me. i know girls, women, anybody would die to have such a sweet loving man, but what is wrong with me then?

[Tony T]

When you have been on a roller coaster for a very long time and it suddenly pulls into the exit area and stops, your head keeps spinning for a long long while. That's what's happening to you psychologically.

 

You are so used to dealing with his roller coaster moodswings that now that he is mostly nice, your head is spinning you dizzy and you are just uncomfortable with it. As long as he was going through the moodswings, though you didn't necessarily like them, you got used to them and could easily get by. The kindness and calm of the relationship is something you simply aren't used to. In other words, you have been addicted to the chaos component of the relationship and you are now going through withdrawal.

 

Hang in there. Once you determine that he has changed permanently (two-three months), then you will have to decide if you can get used to the new him or if you need to find a guy who will keep you on a roller coaster. If at that time you decide on the latter, it will be you and not your boyfriend with the serious problem.

 

So what you are going through now is normal but celebrate the positive changes and hopefully you will get used to them.

 

(For some reason I have to think he was on drugs before, or is on medication now, or there is something going on that you don't know about that has caused such a sudden change in his behavior. Radical changes in behavior usually don't take place in a short time without some external event or chemical assistance as a factor.)