Author jaymz Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 (edited) 22/05/11 16:00 got home for 4pm as agreed with w as she wanted to be out by 5pm, no-one at home, text w at 16:19 asking when she will be back and if kids needed dinner, no-reply. I waited until 5pm and then left. 22/05/11 18:30 Got about 30 missed calls and a dozen texts asking why i'm not at home. Ignore them for a bit and text her back saying i would be back soon. Her text were accusing me of abandoning the kids etc, I explained that i was back at the agreed time and tried to contact her but she ignored me, a very typical case of her trying to get me to do things her way and mess up my day. I tried to call to talk to kids but she refused and kept hanging up on me. 22/05/11 21:35 I get a lift home from my dad and as we pull up my road there is scumbag and her outside the house. I just barely hold on to my temper and walked straight into the house. 22/5/11 22:30 Get a text from her saying she will be back in the morning, its all my fault that scumbag was there and she has to stay out all night due to the sleeping arrangements and the atmosphere in the house. I could not be bothered to answer so I told her to be back by 06:30 as I need to leave for work and the courts do not look kindly on mother being out all night 5/6 days a week. Edited May 22, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 23/05/11 06:50 she back late, didnt really have anything to say so left for work 23/05/11 19:00 she left for the evening, had bathed the kids first (first time in years she has done that), so not sure if she is back tonight or morning again. dont really care. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 22/05/11 16:00 got home for 4pm as agreed with w as she wanted to be out by 5pm, no-one at home, text w at 16:19 asking when she will be back and if kids needed dinner, no-reply. I waited until 5pm and then left. 22/05/11 18:30 Got about 30 missed calls and a dozen texts asking why i'm not at home. Ignore them for a bit and text her back saying i would be back soon. Her text were accusing me of abandoning the kids etc, I explained that i was back at the agreed time and tried to contact her but she ignored me, a very typical case of her trying to get me to do things her way and mess up my day. I tried to call to talk to kids but she refused and kept hanging up on me. 22/05/11 21:35 I get a lift home from my dad and as we pull up my road there is scumbag and her outside the house. I just barely hold on to my temper and walked straight into the house. 22/5/11 22:30 Get a text from her saying she will be back in the morning, its all my fault that scumbag was there and she has to stay out all night due to the sleeping arrangements and the atmosphere in the house. I could not be bothered to answer so I told her to be back by 06:30 as I need to leave for work and the courts do not look kindly on mother being out all night 5/6 days a week. As long as you are documenting all of this. Times, dates, the lot. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 she will be back in the morning, its all my fault that scumbag was there and she has to stay out all night due to the sleeping arrangements and the atmosphere in the house. Of course who else's fault could it possibly be lol Ohh and another thought, keep all text messages. Let her send all the nasty ones to you. Don't send any nasty ones back to her. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 documenting everything is a great idea, probable couldn't hurt if you could somehow prove by a outside sourse that she's never home. pi's are expensive so not sure if that's a option, Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 24/5/11 06:30 Just leaving for work, she was back at 03:00 in the morning and slept on the sofa. She also brought back some food shopping too. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 24/5/11 06:30 Just leaving for work, she was back at 03:00 in the morning and slept on the sofa. She also brought back some food shopping too. You should GPS track her phone, or even better her car. Check the law on this so you have evidence.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 24/05/11 19:15 W left for evening, said she will be back before 0630. I cant do her phone as its password protected, will find out about the car Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 (edited) 26/05/11 8:58 She texts me and says she has something important to talk to me about 26/05/11 10:05 I call her, She wants to know if I'm serious about being bought out of the house, she is willing to offer £25k. I said no and asked her to come back with a more realistic figure. I asked what she has done with the kids passports, she would only say they are in a safe place, I told her that she cant do that and should put them back, she is refusing to do so. She asked where I was last night and where I'm going tonight, told her it was none of her business, she then called me a C**t and hung up. 26/05/11 10:22 Can't get hold of solicitor, have sent her an email. 26/05/11 10:31 Called estate agents for feedback on last viewings, all loved the house but too far from a local secondary school - kids can take the bus, sheesh. Edited May 26, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 she would only say they are in a safe place, h. Call immigration and customs, alert them!!! If she tries to leave the country with the kids she will be blocked ... DO THIS NOW Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) 27/05/11 06:30 w told kids that I was out all night 27/05/11 06:40 I was happy this morning, w accused me of "getting lucky last night" I didnt confirm or deny it, I was just out with friends, I guess this pissed her off. W told me passport with her parents (in their safe) I asked for them to be put back or I will inform uk border that she is trying to leave the country. She then started to go into one about me being a bad husband, none of her friends like me etc. I just told her that actions speak louder than words and she is only surpressing her guilt. she told me that I had turned her into something she wasnt over the years and now she is her old self, not guilty about the affair and was in love. I told her that she know what she is and there is not much point talking to her anymore. She then said that she is going to have scumbag come over whenever she wants and there is nothing i can do to stop her. I said i would call the police and then walked away. 27/05/11 07:15 My eldest asked me why i wasnt letting them stay in the house any more, I asked him who told him that and he said mummy did. w called me a loser as I went upstairs. Cant believe I got stuck in a stupid conversation with her again. Edited May 27, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Why are you telling her this, just do it? Mate she could take your kids out of country and there is NOTHING you can do. DO IT NOW, if you value your family. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 She then said that she is going to have scumbag come over whenever she wants and there is nothing i can do to stop her. I said i would call the police and then walked away. . My kids do this to each other, one says something to get a reaction from the other one, then the other one lashes out. You are doing lots of talking my friend and doing no actions. I wouldn't hesitate for one microsecond to CRB check OM, christ man for all you know he could be on the sex offenders register. You are the kids father, do this. As for telling her what you are doing? why are you doing this. You think Winston churchill told Hitler " excuse me mate, I'm gonna bomb Dresden". He just went and did it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 Yeah i know Rob, guess just hesitant about doing somethings. On phone now to bank, cancelled her joint cards and am separating the other finances now. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Yeah i know Rob, guess just hesitant about doing somethings.. Hesitant.. What a great word.. Your Wife wasn't hesitant about sleeping with another man Your wife wasn't hesitant about breaking you family up Your wife won't be hesitant about throwing you out on the street Your Wife won't be hesitant about using your children against you Your wife won't be hesitant about introducing them to OM There are 1000's of dads in the UK who have been cleaned out by a cheating wife. Think of those dads who stand on Tower Bridge in costumes protesting for fathers rights. Some are broke and have no right to see their kids. By not taking swift action you are enabling your wife. She isn't being hesitant. Your wife is gone anyway, you owe this to your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 On phone now to bank, cancelled her joint cards and am separating the other finances now. Good.... Please call the border agency. My friend had his wife take the child out of the country, he had a hell of a time getting her back. Lock this down. Once they are gone you are stuffed. Ohh report the passports stolen, call the police RIGHT NOW. Your wife's parents can be arrested for this they have NO RIGHT to have these. It is an incredibly serious CRIMINAL OFFENCE, passport theft. Please find out if this OM is dodgy, what if he's a sex offender? CRB check.. Fight for your kids. Also your wife might be trying to bait you into admitting you are seeing someone else, this is why she keeps asking where you were. You need to be whiter than white until divorce is final. Finally every time she tries to chat to you. your answer should be " here is my solicitors number" Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 Thanks Rob, doing that all now. 27/05/11 14:00 w has put loads of clothes and a night at a hotel on my credit card. The hotel was the place we spent out first night together as man & wife. She is really going all out to hurt me Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Thanks Rob, doing that all now. 27/05/11 14:00 w has put loads of clothes and a night at a hotel on my credit card. The hotel was the place we spent out first night together as man & wife. She is really going all out to hurt me Ok, Cancel that card pronto if she hasn't already. Lol lets see how OM enjoys forking out lol. As for the hurting bit. It's just totally childish, rise above it man. You are way better than that. Lock down everything like I said. Let her talk to your solicitor, if she wants her own solicitor let her pay for it herself... oops i forgot you just canceled her credit cards. Hmmm maybe OM will pay for a solicitor... Let him that's what I say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) I have cancelled the cards now, while looking through I noticed what she has been up to. She does have one in her name only and some store cards which I cant touch. She also has access to the join account, this is near the limit so she wont be able to use it any more, the bank will decline any transactions over this limit. The scumbag lives at his mums house and is still paying his mortgage and stuff for his wife and kids. I guess he not money bags like the stbx thinks he is. When she does stuff like this is does hurt, i guess I am sentimental. It is also making me harder towards her as I know now there is no hope and i dont need to do what she wants any more. And thanks for your advice rob. 27/05/11 16:45 w just noticed i have cut off her credit cards, she is in a shop trying to return some items. I told her to use the current account and hung up. She just sent a text asking why i cut her off again, am going to ignore it - doing the right thing? Edited May 27, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 She just sent a text asking why i cut her off again, am going to ignore it - doing the right thing? If they are in your name? it's your business, just ignore it. Just beware, she will get real mad, do not rise to the bait. Did she give the passports back? Absolutely the right thing. Keep ignoring!! Does she have a job and her own income? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 ards, she is in a shop trying to return some items. I told her to use the current account and hung up. She just sent a text asking why i cut her off again, am going to ignore it - doing the right thing? Just, remember, actions, not words. Be strong, do not be a jerk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 She just sent a text asking why i cut her off again, am going to ignore it - doing the right thing? Unless she's got the brain of a lugfish, she knows damn well why you cut them off. Link to post Share on other sites
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willowthewisp Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Jaymz, have you even told your wife she is a b!tch? I would have exploded hin her face by now. Not that I am advocating that, remaining calm is the best for your divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted May 29, 2011 Author Share Posted May 29, 2011 28/05/11 10:53 w sent me a text asking how she is going to buy our son a birthday present while she is away this weekend. I have ignored her again. She does have her own business working from home. She needs to work as my salary just covers the running cost of the house and food. She has not worked for months (unknown to me) and therefore I am getting deeper into debt each month keeping things going. She seems to spend her days out with scumbag shopping for herself, she has no interest in woeking at all - she probably won't as it will affect her benefits. I have told her exactly what I think of her, but it is pointless as she cannot see what she is doing wrong and I am the bad guy, so I just don't bother anymore. Just concentrating on myself, kids, work and getting house sold. Link to post Share on other sites
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