Author jaymz Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Debtman: You are very right. Sometimes i cant see the woods for the trees. I am taking all the kids camping this weekend with my brother and his son. We have been many times before and loved it. I dont want to compete with her for the kids but its hard when she is splashing out cash on trips etc and I am working long days. Rob: Will do. I think they have scared a little with the initial phone call, so mabye time to notch it up. If i get him sacked then I will buy you a f*cking keg of beer. Will check about the mortgage payments. I sent her a solicitors letter about the extra money she wasted over the last few months that I will be reclaiming so will add this too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 10/06/11 06:35 find out from kids that scumbag has been over for dinner last two nights while I have been out for a few hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 10/06/11 14:00 Find out that stbxw has closed or disabled her facebook account. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I dont want to compete with her for the kids but its hard when she is splashing out cash on trips etc and I am working long days. Just remember, all your kids want from you is your time, attention and love. I can't afford to take my kids out to waterparks, get them new video games, toys, etc. but, I DO spend all of our time together focusing on them, talking with them, playing with them and NOT yelling at them. I used to yell at them about things because I was frustrated about other things in my life and felt constant pressure to get things done, meet deadlines on home repairs and avoid fights with the W. Now, when the kids start to fight with each other or get frustrated about something, I'm right there and can sit down with them, talk about things, help them work through solutions and come up with options. A few weeks ago, my stbx told me that my 6 yo daughter told her that she didn't like it when she got yelled at and that "daddy just sits down and talks with us" so maybe the kids will benefit from this as well if we can take the best of each other's parenting with us...although, I was on the phone with stbx yesterday and she was screaming at the kids during the call, so she may not be adopting that technique. Dealing with OM and knowing that he's spending time with YOUR kids is one of the most difficult things. Still trying to wrap my head around that. Mostly just avoiding it, not saying anything when kids talk about doing things with him, etc. My daughter knows something is "up" because she asked the other day why I don't come into my stbx's house whenever OM's car is there. I told her I just have things I have to do and don't have time... jaymz, she has probably "blocked" you from seeing her account as she's posting lots of pics of her and OM. There have been MANY occasions of FB being used in divorce cases and, if you had any mutual FB friends (who you can trust) you may want to ask them to watch her posts just to make sure she doesn't make any false accusations or harmful posts against you... Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
starting2wakeup Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just remember, all your kids want from you is your time, attention and love. I can't afford to take my kids out to waterparks, get them new video games, toys, etc. but, I DO spend all of our time together focusing on them, talking with them, playing with them and NOT yelling at them. Quoted for truth. Yesterday I went to the "Everything is a Dollar" store and picked up a pack of 8 glow sticks for 1 dollar. Then later that night I went into my youngest daughters room, turned out all the lights, closed the shades and hid the glow sticks all over her room. After each one was hidden, I then let my two daughters in to find them. They would find the sticks and I would hide them again. We played that for close to an hour and they had a blast. Having been in my current situation for going on 9 months now, I can tell you that not having money will force you to be creative when it comes to spending time with your kids, and it is incredibly rewarding. I had no idea when I bought those glow sticks that I was going to set up a glow-n-the-dark hide-and-seek game that they would absolutely love. I just knew that 8 glow sticks for a dollar was a good deal and I would think of something to do with them. The important part of it all is making the most out of the moments you have with them. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 The important part of it all is making the most out of the moments you have with them. A-frickin-men, bro. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 10/06/11 06:35 find out from kids that scumbag has been over for dinner last two nights while I have been out for a few hours. Hmm wonder how your W react if you invited a lady round for an intimate dinner lol. It would almost be fun to watch her spin up the wall. The slightly evil side of me almost wants you to do this lol. Did you say that Om had a wife lol? Sadly you have to be whiter than white. Best leave that pleasure until after the divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 10/06/11 14:00 Find out that stbxw has closed or disabled her facebook account. Good, Facebook is for schoolkids anyway.. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 If i get him sacked then I will buy you a f*cking keg of beer. . Yep, a registered letter and an email to his boss. I know you are a nice guy Jaymz, I am too but I wouldn't hesitate for a second to do this. This OM is a parasite trying to break up your family. Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yep, a registered letter and an email to his boss. I know you are a nice guy Jaymz, I am too but I wouldn't hesitate for a second to do this. This OM is a parasite trying to break up your family. Just wondering, but what has it got to do with his employer? Don't get me wrong OM is a s***e but what he is doing has nothing to do with his employer and if Jay did this it would not look good in the divorce, revengeful. Whilst warranted I don't see it helping him. Or am i missing something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Willow: Its around two things as far as I am concerned, firstly he is bringing the company name into disrepute as word spreads about how they are conducting themselves and he represents his company. Secondly while he is around my house playing with my kids, eating my food and shagging my wife, he is not at work doing the job he is paid for. Learnt today that he was round the house again. Spent the evening playing lego with the kids. May not go camping tomorrow as the rain looks really bad so will do something else instead. We can still "camp" indoors, a few chairs and a bed sheet makes a perfect tent for the kids and their cousin. Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just a thought- would it be better for you if someone else wrote to the company and was the whistle blower? That way you could protect your own interests and not be accused of sour grapes or malicious gossip. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Just wondering, but what has it got to do with his employer? Don't get me wrong OM is a s***e but what he is doing has nothing to do with his employer and if Jay did this it would not look good in the divorce, revengeful. Whilst warranted I don't see it helping him. Or am i missing something? Actually it has everything to do with his employer. When it comes to hiring anyone, good character is part of the deal. I see no wrong in informing the man's employer. This affair needs busting and quickly. Hit this POSOM hard... Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 . Or am i missing something? The same British law that ensures men have to danglle from tower bridge to draw attention to the fact a nasty wife is barring them from their kids. I got 2 mates in the same situation who sat back in the divorce and did all the right legal things ohh and guess what wifey still uses the kids against them. I see it as part of Jaymz fighting for his marriage. Personally I would kick his sorry wife and OM on the street where they deserve to be, but hey that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I know all about the family law court system Rob and I am sad to say that in some cases the parents USE the children as pawns in their own war. The court has an incrediably difficult job to do what is best in for the child, particularly when both parents are franky pieces of c***. Even when that isn't the case they still have a tough task. I never said anything about OM and stbx behaviour not being dispicable. I never said anything about Jay not having a right to feel betrayed and wanting to take back some power. What I said was that employemnt has nothing to do with it and it doesn't, his employer has no right to terminate his employment based on his personal behaviour, not unless they wish to find themselves in front of an employment tribunal. Why would Jay want to make waves for himself with no result? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 12, 2011 Author Share Posted June 12, 2011 11/06/11 Because of the rain we cancelled the camping trip and instead spent the day at a local farm which the kids can feed animals, look at the baby animals, it has a maze, activity centre, farmers market etc. They had a great time with their cousin there too. Then we went to a local crumbling castle for more exploring, fun and games. 11/06/11 17:30 Just got back home and w calls, I asked her to call back at the agreed time (around 19:00) if she wants to talk to kids. 11/06/11 18:00 w calls again, i tell her again its not convenient and to call back at the usual time. Start a small fire in the garden and roast marsh mellows for dessert. 11/06/11 18:30 Bath all the kids and then setup the "tent" in the middle childs room. We get them a "midnight snack" too to share later in the evening. 11/06/11 20:00 w calls back, she only talks to the two boys and the youngest was very tired out and went to bed earlier. She tells me she will call them tomorrow. 11/06/11 20:30 After more games and playing with the lego I put the boys and their cousin to bed in the "tent" and give them their "midnight snack" to keep them busy. I spent the evening chatting to my brother about everything other than the situation, he gave me loads of advise about how to start getting fit at home with some simple exercises. 12/06/11 09:00 After a lay in we all get up, get ready and spend the morning in the local woods. The boys bring guns and play "army", we then start to build a shelter and show them very basic woodcraft - the fascination didn't last long but my brother and I had fun. 12/06/11 13:00 Back home for lunch and boring chores. The kids reall did enjoy themselves over the weekend and I have some pop corn to watch a movie with them later this afternoon. The eldest did tell me that he had fun but Lego land was slightly better!!! Kids eh? While walking around the woods I chatted to my brother about my future plans, he agrees with some of the things I want to do and rightly points out that some of them I can do now. There is no reason not to start basic keeping fit circuit training a couple of times a week and also to cook for myself when I'm at home. While the stbxw is out 5 nights a week that should give me plenty of time for practice. Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Great to hear that you had a good time with your kids, Jaymz!:) Link to post Share on other sites
russell1968 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 11/06/11 Because of the rain we cancelled the camping trip and instead spent the day at a local farm which the kids can feed animals, look at the baby animals, it has a maze, activity centre, farmers market etc. They had a great time with their cousin there too. Then we went to a local crumbling castle for more exploring, fun and games. 11/06/11 17:30 Just got back home and w calls, I asked her to call back at the agreed time (around 19:00) if she wants to talk to kids. 11/06/11 18:00 w calls again, i tell her again its not convenient and to call back at the usual time. Start a small fire in the garden and roast marsh mellows for dessert. 11/06/11 18:30 Bath all the kids and then setup the "tent" in the middle childs room. We get them a "midnight snack" too to share later in the evening. 11/06/11 20:00 w calls back, she only talks to the two boys and the youngest was very tired out and went to bed earlier. She tells me she will call them tomorrow. 11/06/11 20:30 After more games and playing with the lego I put the boys and their cousin to bed in the "tent" and give them their "midnight snack" to keep them busy. I spent the evening chatting to my brother about everything other than the situation, he gave me loads of advise about how to start getting fit at home with some simple exercises. 12/06/11 09:00 After a lay in we all get up, get ready and spend the morning in the local woods. The boys bring guns and play "army", we then start to build a shelter and show them very basic woodcraft - the fascination didn't last long but my brother and I had fun. 12/06/11 13:00 Back home for lunch and boring chores. The kids reall did enjoy themselves over the weekend and I have some pop corn to watch a movie with them later this afternoon. The eldest did tell me that he had fun but Lego land was slightly better!!! Kids eh? While walking around the woods I chatted to my brother about my future plans, he agrees with some of the things I want to do and rightly points out that some of them I can do now. There is no reason not to start basic keeping fit circuit training a couple of times a week and also to cook for myself when I'm at home. While the stbxw is out 5 nights a week that should give me plenty of time for practice. jamz, check this link out www.crossfit.com i'm 42 and in the best shape of my life, i think it's great you had a good time with your kids! Getting into shape will really boost your confidence! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 12, 2011 Author Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) 12/06/11 19:20 Get text from w that she is at a concert and will be back in morning, she also asked me to make kids sandwiches and get their school stuff out for them. Just worked out these are the tickets she stuck on my credit card about 3 weeks ago, bitch. Russell: Thanks for the link, will take a look. Edited June 12, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
russell1968 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 12/06/11 19:20 Get text from w that she is at a concert and will be back in morning, she also asked me to make kids sandwiches and get their school stuff out for them. Just worked out these are the tickets she stuck on my credit card about 3 weeks ago, bitch. Russell: Thanks for the link, will take a look. Jay, my stbxw gave my oakley sunglasses to Om! I promise you now, you will come out of this better than her! You are doing everything right, stay strong you can do this ! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 12/06/11 19:20 Get text from w that she is at a concert and will be back in morning, she also asked me to make kids sandwiches and get their school stuff out for them. Just worked out these are the tickets she stuck on my credit card about 3 weeks ago, bitch. Russell: Thanks for the link, will take a look. Damn shame you didn't realise earlier, you could have stuck em on Ebay. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Jay, my stbxw gave my oakley sunglasses to Om!! Shame she's moved all of her sh*t out of you're house, you could tell her she's got till, Thursday to pick it up or it get's thrown out or sold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 Not coping well at all last few days. The relentlessness, the callousness, the nastiness and the way she makes me feel dumped, abandoned, used, worthless, dirty, pointless, thrown away like rubbish, has taken such a toll on me emotionly. I am so down and depressed. cannot see a way out. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Jay!! She put the tickets on your CC...have some "choice" words for that, but will refrain...but sheesh!! :mad: Keep your head up, focus on you and your kids. I know exactly how you feel right now...my exH made me feel like that when he threw his OW in my face many times. You can't control their stupidity, there's nothing wrong with you, it's within them. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Not coping well at all last few days. The relentlessness, the callousness, the nastiness and the way she makes me feel dumped, abandoned, used, worthless, dirty, pointless, thrown away like rubbish, has taken such a toll on me emotionly. I am so down and depressed. cannot see a way out. i know its so cliche but HANG IN THERE MAN.. it'll pass. i felt the EXACT same way. Link to post Share on other sites
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