robf1971 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 oh yea man.. she holds all the cards with OM and is obviously trying to stick it to you. like laughing at you for saying you have a date, like you're beneath meeting anyone else. such immature high school bitch behavior. you know what? one day you're gonna meet a woman who blows her doors off in every way. smarter, nicer, cooler, hotter.. everything. and you seem like a good person so you won't feel the need to flaunt it in her face like your ex. the tables WILL turn.. she's not always gonna be on top and you're not always gonna be in this vulnerable position. she's taking advantage of it now because she can. I can't even tell you how disgusting this type of behavior is, as you know my exB is doing the same thing to me. its gonna be a long fall for her one day. Bingo You will meet someone who is prettier, nicer, smarter in everyway than your STBX. She will not like this one little bit. It's almost hilarious how many women there are out there for guys of our age. On the other hand her dating pool consists of mainly losers. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 18/07/11 23:30 I don't know why i did it but i ran past the new house stbxw and scumbag are renting. The house looks nice (her taste), both cars on the drive, no lights on and in a nice area. Stood outside for a few minutes, everything I love was in that house. Ran home, feeling weird. Hmm, Am I mistaking you for someone else, wasn't OM married with kids? The more I think about your situation the more I think you should ***g OM's wife. I'm not kidding either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 Hmm, Am I mistaking you for someone else, wasn't OM married with kids? The more I think about your situation the more I think you should ***g OM's wife. I'm not kidding either. She is not my type and also she was sending on my texts to scumbag. She was playing a long game I think and I didnt want to be involved in that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 20/07/11 16:00 get text from stbx saying to call her as its important 20/07/11 17:00 call stbx, her mothers friend has died. stbxw wants to go to the funeral next week, probably be gone for 2 days and wants me to look after kids. I said i would check. She will probably go up there with scumbag. So i'm thinking: it would be great to spend the additional two days with the kids but part of me is thinking, is she wants to get then scumbag should take the two days off and look after the kids or she shouldnt go. What is best? Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 (edited) 20/07/11 16:00 get text from stbx saying to call her as its important 20/07/11 17:00 call stbx, her mothers friend has died. stbxw wants to go to the funeral next week, probably be gone for 2 days and wants me to look after kids. I said i would check. She will probably go up there with scumbag. So i'm thinking: it would be great to spend the additional two days with the kids but part of me is thinking, is she wants to get then scumbag should take the two days off and look after the kids or she shouldnt go. What is best? yea man, its a conundrum. you want to see your kids but you don't want to do her any favors so she can enjoy time with the home wrecker and use you as a babysitter. logic states that you should spend as much time as possible with your kids, regardless of the situation. here's a good example of how I'm ****ing with my wife and messing things up for her, but doing it on the DL. i'm supposed to have a week with my son for vaca this summer.. oh great, I have no idea what in the hell we'll do but I'll figure out something. she really wants to know when so she can plan **** with her OM. well, i'm not telling her until the last damn minute so it ****s up her plans. and no, I won't feel a bit of remorse either. Edited July 20, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 (edited) yea man, its a conundrum. you want to see your kids but you don't want to do her any favors so she can enjoy time with the home wrecker and use you as a babysitter. logic states that you should spend as much time as possible with your kids, regardless of the situation. I'm just going to say no to her, if scumbag wants to take on family responsibilities then this is his opportunity to step up. here's a good example of how I'm ****ing with my wife and messing things up for her, but doing it on the DL. i'm supposed to have a week with my son for vaca this summer.. oh great, I have no idea what in the hell we'll do but I'll figure out something. she really wants to know when so she can plan **** with her OM. well, i'm not telling her until the last damn minute so it ****s up her plans. and no, I won't feel a bit of remorse either. Its funny, i am doing exactly the same thing. I am looking forward to having the kids all to myself for a whole week. Because of the **** storm she has caused at work, i cant book any time of in future and will have to be last minute. No remorse. She threw me under a bus, then reversed it over me, kicked me while I was down and while i was laying bleeding, robbed me of everything. I don't owe her a single thing. Edited July 20, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
russell1968 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 No remorse. She threw me under a bus, then reversed it over me, kicked me while I was down and while i was laying bleeding, robbed me of everything. I don't owe her a single thing. The same here i'm in the **** at work and can't have any time off to spend with my daughters Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 (edited) 21/07/11 13:22 got text from w: "The funeral may be next friday. i would like to go thursday evening and come back late friday or early saturday morning. can u look after the kids under the circumstances?" I'm thinking, no favours. If she wants to go then she can make other arrangements. So will text back "no" later. Edited July 21, 2011 by jaymz Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 21/07/11 13:22 got text from w: "The funeral may be next friday. i would like to go thursday evening and come back late friday or early saturday morning. can u look after the kids under the circumstances?" I'm thinking, no favours. If she wants to go then she can make other arrangements. So will text back "no" later. i dunno know man.. this could come back on you. she's offering extra time with your kids.. you have to look at it like that, not as doing a favor to her. i know, i think the same way you do.. i hate the idea of being used as a babysitter so my ex can go do **** with her loser BF. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Why don't you tell her you will do it because you want to spend more time with the kids but you are not doing it to help her or make things easier for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 I wont be able to get the time off work anyway thanks to her previous behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 I wont be able to get the time off work anyway thanks to her previous behaviour. well if you can't do it you can't do it. just be polite about and it be like "sorry I'd love to see the kids but I can't get off work" and leave it at that. start killing her with kindness. Link to post Share on other sites
Tech_E Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Why do any favours for this ____? Do what is right for the kids, to hell with her. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Why do any favours for this ____? Do what is right for the kids, to hell with her. well, unfortunately the two overlap quite a bit... and exes use it to their advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeNow Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Why don't you tell her you will do it because you want to spend more time with the kids but you are not doing it to help her or make things easier for her. I had to respond to this, Surfer. You've highlighted what I believe is a major problem for you in communicating with your wife. One does not tell them something like that. They perceive words on such a subject as weakness! In her mind, if he REALLY didn't want to do it then he wouldn't do it. Telegraphing one's lack of desire to do something and then that person turning around and doing it comes off as lame and they lose even more respect for the guy. All telling her would do is to remind her that she can still get to him in some manner. You see what I'm talking about here Surfer? Many times you post in your own thread that you told her... told her... sometimes, you simply have to man up and DO something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 22, 2011 Author Share Posted July 22, 2011 22/07/11 10:27 text her saying "sorry, would love to see kids but can't get day off", she text me straight back asking me to call her. Its an hour later and I haven't bothered. I'm not going to either as its not to do with our finances or the kids so its irrelevant to me. I do have to go to her new place tonight to pick up the kids around 18:30 so I guess she will ambush me then. I have the kids all this weekend which is great, the weather looks bad again but brightening on the Sunday. So it looks like Saturday is going to be spent indoors all day again but at least Sunday we will be out and seeing family for Sunday lunch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 22, 2011 Author Share Posted July 22, 2011 22/07/11 14:57 Thought it would be better to call and get it over with rather than argue in front of the kids. She wanted my parents to look after the kids "due to the circumstances", i said "no" and then said "her boyfriend should be taking the two days off and looking after the kids, after all he has taken on that responsibility?", she asked "was I happy with that?", I laughed and then said "that is her judgement call not mine", she replied that "my parents should do it as they never see them" I laughed and she said goodbye and hung up. The funny thing is, my parents now see the kids loads more than they did before. This is due partly to the work they had (both are coming up to retirement and have no money so need to work to build up nest egg, pay off house etc) and partly because we never went around there. I think in our 15 year relationship we only went there for one christmas and only stayed for the day. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 22/07/11 14:57 Thought it would be better to call and get it over with rather than argue in front of the kids. She wanted my parents to look after the kids "due to the circumstances", i said "no" and then said "her boyfriend should be taking the two days off and looking after the kids, after all he has taken on that responsibility?", she asked "was I happy with that?", I laughed and then said "that is her judgement call not mine", she replied that "my parents should do it as they never see them" I laughed and she said goodbye and hung up. The funny thing is, my parents now see the kids loads more than they did before. This is due partly to the work they had (both are coming up to retirement and have no money so need to work to build up nest egg, pay off house etc) and partly because we never went around there. I think in our 15 year relationship we only went there for one christmas and only stayed for the day. Handled like a true pro... You played this perfectly Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 22/07/11 18:35 I get to the new house, i wasn't looking forward to it as i didn't know what to expect. The kids see me walking down the road, they shout "daddy" and come running for a big hug! I see the stbxw and we exchange a cold hello. I am then busy making sure the kids have everything they need for the weekend and bundle them into the car, the stbxw asks where i am going and what i am doing, i tell her its none of her business, they are with me and i will bring them back in two days. She then went mad and told the kids the couldn't go with daddy, the kids started to get really upset and she then backed down. i mean, what was the point of that? I get in the car and she then tells me that i cant have the kids next Sunday (i had arranged a trip with them and stbxw had agreed for me to have them for the day) as she is now busy doing something with them. I just smile and say goodbye. She doesn't tell me what she is doing with the kids when she has them and that doesn't bother me, so why the hell do i need to? I know its a power trip she is doing. She wanted to be adult about things and put kids first but every time i deal with her, she does things to spite me which affect the kids. its pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 she then tells me that i cant have the kids next Sunday (i had arranged a trip with them and stbxw had agreed for me to have them for the day) as she is now busy doing something with them. I just smile and say goodbye. Do you have a written agreement? If not get one URGENTLY! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 24, 2011 Author Share Posted July 24, 2011 We have an agreement, this was me taking them out for the day on HER weekend. When i originally asked she was extremely happy i was taking them for the day, as on HER weekend she has scumbags kids staying over and there are 6 running around the house! 22/07/11 19:00 The kids were absolutely amazed by the emptiness of the marital home, my eldest turned to me and said "Mummy took everything from you daddy, mummy is evil". I was absolutely flabbergasted that an 8 year old could see things so clearly. I told him that most of the stuff was needed for you kids to use and he must never use that word again, i again told him that mummy and daddy loves them all very much. Link to post Share on other sites
KME39 Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 22/07/11 19:00 The kids were absolutely amazed by the emptiness of the marital home, my eldest turned to me and said "Mummy took everything from you daddy, mummy is evil". I was absolutely flabbergasted that an 8 year old could see things so clearly. I told him that most of the stuff was needed for you kids to use and he must never use that word again, i again told him that mummy and daddy loves them all very much. That was very good that you corrected him. The house may be empty but stuff can be replaced. Your kids love is something that can never be bought. Link to post Share on other sites
Tech_E Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 my eldest turned to me and said "Mummy took everything from you daddy, mummy is evil". I was absolutely flabbergasted that an 8 year old could see things so clearly. I told him that most of the stuff was needed for you kids to use and he must never use that word again, i again told him that mummy and daddy loves them all very much. As much as I agree this woman is satan's spawn think you should have corrected this by telling your child not to talk about their mother that way. No matter how angry we are or how awful we treat each other we should leave the kids out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Personally, I think that you handled things very well. 8 yr olds are not stupid and your child will soon realise the reality of the situation. I know that the PC brigade will say that you must be ever loving and polite about your ex but from my own experience, children are very astute and soon draw their own conclusions! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 I did correct him, told him not to use that word or talk about mummy like that. I know he understands everything that is going on in a simple way, and it hurts to be so nice to the w when she has done nothing like that in return. The kids come out with little things all the time that she has said about me, i guess its another thing she is not keeping her side of the agreement on. 23/07/11 All bundled together in the bed, it was a nice way to wake up until I realized it was 6am! Spent morning outside with kids, then did some shopping - had to as the w took everything and I don't even have a can opener to open a can of beans! (we had 3 before). Spent the afternoon at my parents, playing games and such. Then a lateish night with the kids. 24/07/11 Again kids bundled into my bed, again at 6 am! Spent the day down the beach, just me and them. Then went for dinner in a local pub with my family and the kids and their cousins played all afternoon together. Got sad when i took kids back. 24/07/11 18:35 Dropped kids off, saw w and we were both coldly polite to each other. I gave the kids their gifts so I hope they get are allowed to put the photos by their beds. Said goodbye and walked home. 24/07/11 19:30 Was home for a bit and decided to go for a bike ride. Text my brother and told him i was coming his way with a few beers. Took me 45 mins to cycle 7 miles to his house. Stayed there a couple of hours drinking, caught up on things etc. Cycled home, took 35 minutes. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts