Author jaymz Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 cant you get a lodger while you wait for your house to be sold? someone paying 60,70,80, or even 90 depending on the size of the room a week can make a huge difference. One lodger wouldnt be enough, I would need two and would then fall faul of the H&S rules to do that. Plus i would need to buy bed, wardrobe, desk, chair etc for the rooms. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Oh she will have a downgrade at some point and reality will hit home when she goes for credit and they refuse it. Not sure whether she means it or is blowing hot air. Speak to your solicitor and see what he says. Not really much I can do with the CSA, they have power to do anything. Just not waiting for her anymore. I have a plan now and am taking complete control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 She needs to understand and comprehend that there are and always will be consequences for her bad decisions in life. She needs to grow up and own them. Just my two cents. Well, she doesnt want to, everything is someone elses fault. Very frustraating during our marriage and doubly so now as everything i say or do is wrong and seen as a slight on her. She forgets everything she agrees to and only half remembers things I have said. Things are having to change now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Slightly off topic, but has cheered me up today Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I have a plan now and am taking complete control. You f_cking rule, jaymz. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 and would then fall faul of the H&S rules to do that. . To qoute Ferris Beuller "sometime's you gotta say, what the f*ck" Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Not sure whether she means it or is blowing hot air. Get a sheet of paper, Write down every single threat she's made to you since she ran off with that p*llock Put a tick by each one that she's followed through with, I think that should give you a fair % probability of it being hot air No offence Jaymz but everything about your wife sounds really lazy,she does the easy stuff like a quick phone call but never follows through, cos it's hard work.. Chin up and Spurs for the title wahhayyyyyy Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 well since she wants to play hardball by sicking the csa people on your azz, you should tally up what she owes you in back mortage and other debts. and have lawyer send her the bill,2 can play at her game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 20/01/12 18:30 Picked kids up from STBXW house. She was pleasant and wanted to know when I was having kids for the easter break as she was going away with scumbag and his kids as he hasnt gone on holiday with them. And i had to? forgotten i was thrown off the two family holidays have we? And no money to go on one now? But poor old scumbag! Then i asked her about her decision, well she said I wasnt going to be happy and i wasnt surprised. She is too cowardly to tell me before she asked for favours... I had already got the ball rolling today anyway so am looking out for me now. I did suggest she could buy me out of the house and clear my debts, she is going to think about it and make me an offer. She did suggest coming over monday night to discuss but I think I will put it off for a couple of weeks as there are things I need to check. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 Get a sheet of paper, Write down every single threat she's made to you since she ran off with that p*llock Put a tick by each one that she's followed through with, I think that should give you a fair % probability of it being hot air No offence Jaymz but everything about your wife sounds really lazy,she does the easy stuff like a quick phone call but never follows through, cos it's hard work.. Chin up and Spurs for the title wahhayyyyyy Yep, agree 100% , Spurs for the title! And yeah, she hasnt followed through on ony threat except this one... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 well since she wants to play hardball by sicking the csa people on your azz, you should tally up what she owes you in back mortage and other debts. and have lawyer send her the bill,2 can play at her game. Will do. All part of the divorce fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 She did also mention how she is having financial troubles (not breadline as she pays for gym membership, full sky multi-room tv, restaurants, holidays etc) so needs the extra cash. When i said about her buying the house, she initially refused as she didnt want scumbags ex-wife to have any claim over HER house. So i said what about me giving her 100% of the deeds, then he wouldnt have any ownership? I also asked if it was amicable between them and the look on her face said it all... lol Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 she must be running up a heck of alot of debt. you stbxw has more crap and takes more vacations than donald trump, have you checked to make sure she hasn't opened up any accounts with your name on them? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 she must be running up a heck of alot of debt. you stbxw has more crap and takes more vacations than donald trump, have you checked to make sure she hasn't opened up any accounts with your name on them? Yep and at some point in the future she is gonna end up as bankrupt as Greece, sure she cannot drag you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 22/01/12 18:30 Went to her place to drop kids off and no-one there, tried calling her and phone went straight to voicemail. Waited 10 minutes and took kids home. Left several voicemessages to her, basically saying that if she cannot get in touch then I will keep the kids overnight and take them to school tomorrow. 22/01/12 19:15 STBXW calls me and demands to know where the kids are. I explained that she wasnt back at the agreed time, I called her but her phone was off, left voicemails and waitied 10 minutes before taking the kids home. Not happy, accuses me of not waiting etc. I cut her off and ask when she is picking up the kids. 22/01/12 19:20 STBXW turns up on doorstep, her phone wasnt working and she restarted it and now she has got text messages etc. I said I dont care if she is late back occasionly (traffic etc) but a call or text would have been the considerate thing to do, still no apology to me or the kids, just more excuses and that she was only 2 minutes late and I never waited... She turns up in more new desinger gear and tells the kids she has been roller skating all afternoon. When they ask if they can go next saturday with his kids, she says they cant... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 she must be running up a heck of alot of debt. you stbxw has more crap and takes more vacations than donald trump, have you checked to make sure she hasn't opened up any accounts with your name on them? I have no idea who is picking up the tab. For the holidays I assume its her parents. For the new stuff, i guess that is their spending priority... No idea if she has opened up any new accounts in my name, I think since we are seperated that she couldnt do it and it would need my signature, unless she has forged it.... lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 Yep and at some point in the future she is gonna end up as bankrupt as Greece, sure she cannot drag you down. She has already told me she is quite happy to declare herself bankrupt. I think her parents will bail her out, afterall, everything is my fault and they would do anything for her and to save her from her bad husband!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 Was feeling down this evening and not sure why. Just looked at my post my dad dropped off, I remembered I have got my Decree Nisi through!!! Now have to wait until the end of march and then I can apply for the decree absolute and it will be done. Obviously that and the STBXW being her usual self had got me down again, now I feel better. When will the roller coaster stop???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 23/01/12 09:27 STBXW texts me the following "i think the best way forward is to rent the house. i cant buy it and u cant afford to live there so that is the best option. also we r looking to go away now last week in august with the girls and scumbags parents around the 24th, can u provisionally book those dates. thanks" Not responded yet. Its a bit too late for the first bit as I have already cancelled the mortgage payments and will be speaking to the bank today. Not sure about the holiday date yet as I wanted to take the kids when I want them, not when she books her holidays. Wont be able to confirm the dates yet anyway due to the holiday booking system at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Just got call from agent: the couple that saw the house on sunday morning want a second viewing today! Fingers crossed... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 23/01/12 14:18 STBXW calls to about the CSA and the text she sent this morning, didn't get a clear answer out of her and when she asked about the holiday and I said she may need to either take the kids or make other arrangements, she told me i cannot have the kids anymore and then she hung up. 23/01/12 14:23 Called STBXW to clarify a few things: 1) She is happy for me to pay her direct but again threatened me with having the CSA take the pay from my salary, despite the fact I have paid her direct with no problems for months. She said that I don't have the money and I told her that i have cancelled the mortgage payments as discussed. She wasn't happy about that. 2) The house is not being rented out and still on market to be sold, she disagrees but I have already put the wheels in motion as she wants the CSA money. 3) She has cancelled the holiday in Easter and is now going in august. I again said she cannot threaten to stop the kids from seeing me every time I don't do what she says. The conversation kinda dissolved at that point where she accuses me of lying about everything... as i tried to defend myself she just over spoke me and then hung up. Tried to record the conversation, it failed! so lost it all, the clarifications, the constant threats for me not to see my kids... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Just got a text, she wants to know how she can trust me to pay her the money direct, i replied that I am not untrustworthy, no reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Broke down at work, just a mess. Being strong is just too hard work sometimes. I just cannot believe she keeps threatening to take my kids away from me and is so horrible. I haven't done anything wrong and always try to do the right thing. Too upsetting. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 I am so sorry Jaymz. You will probably have more chances to record they conversation. I hope things get better for you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 This emotional roller coaster will stop when you stop corresponding with hee. Have a schedule and stick to it! Do not change the schedule unless an emergency is presented. Any and all vacation time should be covered by the parent who would normally "have visitation" for that time on a calendar. IF she ant stick to her scheduled visitation - then alert the courts, not her. Minimizing interaction with her is key. If she knows her actions/inactions are going to be accounted for to the judge - then she may become predictable and consistent. Do not interact after a schedule is set. Tell her - your time with the kids is for YOU to schedule and figure out. Look ahead to August. Is it your week or hers? If its hers - tell her it's hers to figure out... Then stay away from discussing it further. I hope you get a buyer for the house - I think you will!;-) Link to post Share on other sites
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