standtall Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 05/02/12 18:40 My daughter did not want to go home and was crying, i was regretting my decision earlier now. Dropped kids off at STBXW, she didnt say anything but her and scumbag both looked really pissed off. Dude that sucks, but in the long run by establishing a pattern of not being a doormat to her, you and your children will be better off for it........ pain now will save you larger pain later...good job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 14/02/12 Got a letter from my solicitor today. Bascially the STBXW reluctantly agrees to the house sale price, wants to be fully involved in the sale of the house and wants the rest of her personal items and furniture from the house before its sold. Couldnt make this up... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Spoke to my solicitor, she is amazed each time she gets a letter. I did tell her that my STBXW is having to pay her fees now so that's why she has been so quiet but since she went back on our agreement about the house and now has more money, expect the letters to start up again. The solicitor is going to draw up a letter to send which basically going to point out that STBXW has already drained the house of furniture and any items left are now mine. She has not responded to what fixtures and fittings she wants to keep despite me telling her a week ago otherwise she will have another 7 days before I complete the form how I see fit. Send a list of shared debt that I will pay off when I receive the house cash, then anything left over to be shared 50/50. To agree a date where she can remove her personal items from the loft. Link to post Share on other sites
coopster Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Bag it all up...chuck it in the garden. I`ll come help if ya like Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Bag it all up...chuck it in the garden. I`ll come help if ya like Yeah, tell her it will be out there waiting for the dustmen, unless she comes before they arrive. Look on the bright side, it will all be over soon. Link to post Share on other sites
coopster Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Yeah, tell her it will be out there waiting for the dustmen, unless she comes before they arrive. Look on the bright side, it will all be over soon. lol . now now rob, never thought of it in that way. But collection day would be a better ( albeit evil ) day to throw it out on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 I called the insurance company the other day as I still havent recieved the settlemenmt cheque for the breakin in last year. They told me they had sent it in the STBXW name!!! I told them that the insurance and claim were moved into my name, they agreed that had been done, cancelled the cheque and will issue a new one to me. I get a phone call from them 2 hours later, as the insurance was in her name, she needs to write them a letter saying its ok to issue the settlement cheque in my name...great! 17/02/12 18:25 turned up slightly early, thought she would be pissed but the kids were all ready for me, first time that has ever happened! It has been half term week... But her face is pissed off anyways so I guess she got the reply to her solicitors letter and wasnt too happy... So I give her the letter I had written up and asked her to sign it, she asks what its for and I explain its so I can get the settlement cheque in my name, well she starts to make a song and dance about how she will check it with the insurance company directly before she signs anything...really? Is this so she can get her hands on the money or just a powerplay? She also mentions about the house, I said that we need to discuss the fixtures & fittings as she has had over a week already and I havent heard anything, she says she wants everything and doesnt want to discuss it, so I tell her to write down exactly what she wants and email it to me. So I leave the house with her and scumbag waving from the door, with big grins on their faces. Get home with the kids, the middle son keeps calling me by scumbags name... And I thought it was going to be a great week! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Thanks guys. I have already decided to take all the stuff out of the loft and take what I want, then she has 7 days to go through it before i stick it in a skip along with anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
coopster Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Why 7 days? Why even 7 seconds? She wants everything?Ah m8 I guess you`re doing what right for your kids still., My best friend is in a similar situation to you. He still bows down to her, even gives her OM lifts!! `for the sake of **** ( his son`s name) Even so. Take what you want out the loft, and whatever fixtures and fittings you want,, sell / burn the rest. She`s had MORE than enough time to get her stuff soon be over m8, i hope hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 So I leave the house with her and scumbag waving from the door, with big grins on their faces. Get home with the kids, the middle son keeps calling me by scumbags name... And I thought it was going to be a great week! I am sorry, jay....such a mean thing to do, waving to you with grins on their faces. I just don't understand some people. Hard on you about your son calling you scumbag's name....you know he doesn't feel the same about him as he does you. Sometimes, things are just so hard, aren't they? I know everyone says it will get better and I'm sure they are right, but dear God, in the meantime, it sucks!! {{{HUGS}}} to you and give some to your kids Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Why 7 days? Why even 7 seconds? She wants everything?Ah m8 Only for legal reasons. I guess you`re doing what right for your kids still., My best friend is in a similar situation to you. He still bows down to her, even gives her OM lifts!! `for the sake of **** ( his son`s name) Its different when there are kids invloved, have to really grin and bear some things for the sake of the kids. At the end of the day, I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I can sleep at night. Even so. Take what you want out the loft, and whatever fixtures and fittings you want,, sell / burn the rest. She`s had MORE than enough time to get her stuff soon be over m8, i hope hang in there I will do. Will be over soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 I am sorry, jay....such a mean thing to do, waving to you with grins on their faces. I just don't understand some people. Hard on you about your son calling you scumbag's name....you know he doesn't feel the same about him as he does you. Sometimes, things are just so hard, aren't they? I know everyone says it will get better and I'm sure they are right, but dear God, in the meantime, it sucks!! {{{HUGS}}} to you and give some to your kids Thanks. It all kinda happens at once, just pisses me off sometimes as its mostly unessary and just games. I dont understand it either, its like she has to totally destroy me too, like the last 15 yrs never happened. Its upsetting when the kids call me the wrong name, I know it just slips out and they dont mean anything by it but it just adds up to my pain. Tonight we sat on the sofa and watched a film together, it was lovely, all cuddling together under blankets. Its hard to deal with only having them for a short time. I am really going to rethink things once the divorce is done. I am not happy with this life. Link to post Share on other sites
coopster Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) it`ll always be games, even after the divorce, if you let it. to clarify...my ex ( not my stbxw) but the one i had 3 kids with , STILL tries to tell me what to do, even after 12+ years apart! I used to get in `text wars` with her all the time. She`d say something, i`d reply, so on and so forth took my wife now to point out `whats the poing in arguing with her? you`re never going to win` And now i dont even reply unless its to do with the kids. She even started making things up, cos as the kids got older, they started telling me things that she said to put me down. I`ll always be their dad. And now they want to live with me cos `they cant stand her lies anymore`. Edited February 17, 2012 by coopster Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Hey Jaymz, The little time with them is always better than no time. It does become hard, switching it on and off (dad). If his name is similar to Dad, starts with a D for example, it will slip. My ex's bf starts with D, so it happened alot. Coopster is dead right. They love it. F*(King u around emotionally, financially, seeing if there's anything left to sqeeze out. It gets worse, the happier u seem to be moving on without her. Ignorance is bliss mate. Until I get summoned to court, I dont give a rats arse about her claims anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 I`ll always be their dad. And now they want to live with me cos `they cant stand her lies anymore`. Yeah I was chatting to someone the other day , then the conversation moved on to how he used to hate his mother's boyfriend and do anything to p*ss him off. Just goes to show that kids realise this and remember into adulthood. Jaymz, the more your wife and OM try to turn them against you, the more the kids are going to resent them growing up. You're their father, nothing will ever change that. One day those kids will be old enough to choose themselves. In likelihood they will give your OM the middle finger!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 19/02/12 18:45 dropped of kids a little later as she text me and said she would be back a little late. Asked for the signed letter, she said she will talk to the insurance company and her solictor tomorrow and seems hostile. I just smiled and said goodbye. As i walked away i had hoped she would have just signed the letter, now i fear she wants the money all to herself. Its my stuff that was stolen, what entitlement has she got? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 it`ll always be games, even after the divorce, if you let it. I pretty much ignore all her games and I know there will be more to come in the future, just makes me sad really that it has come to this. Not even sure what i did that was so bad to deserve all this... to clarify...my ex ( not my stbxw) but the one i had 3 kids with , STILL tries to tell me what to do, even after 12+ years apart! I used to get in `text wars` with her all the time. She`d say something, i`d reply, so on and so forth took my wife now to point out `whats the poing in arguing with her? you`re never going to win` And now i dont even reply unless its to do with the kids. I dont either but she rarely texts me about anything but the kids. She even started making things up, cos as the kids got older, they started telling me things that she said to put me down. I`ll always be their dad. And now they want to live with me cos `they cant stand her lies anymore`. Hope she doesnt as I wouldnt wish that on anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 Hey Jaymz, The little time with them is always better than no time. It does become hard, switching it on and off (dad). If his name is similar to Dad, starts with a D for example, it will slip. My ex's bf starts with D, so it happened alot. Completely different names, i just think it slips out as they spend a lot more time with scumbag than they do with me. Coopster is dead right. They love it. F*(King u around emotionally, financially, seeing if there's anything left to sqeeze out. It gets worse, the happier u seem to be moving on without her. Ignorance is bliss mate. Until I get summoned to court, I dont give a rats arse about her claims anymore. I ignore all that crap, its just sadding to see she has that much hatred for someone she loved for 15 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 Yeah I was chatting to someone the other day , then the conversation moved on to how he used to hate his mother's boyfriend and do anything to p*ss him off. Just goes to show that kids realise this and remember into adulthood. Jaymz, the more your wife and OM try to turn them against you, the more the kids are going to resent them growing up. You're their father, nothing will ever change that. One day those kids will be old enough to choose themselves. In likelihood they will give your OM the middle finger!! They do all know that I am their dad and show me lots of love and affection, and I try and make their time with me as great as possible and try new things. This weekend we made their names in saltdough, baked and painted them, total cost £3 but several hours of messy fun. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 i wouldn't even worry about the insurance check.just have your lawyer take it outta her half of the sell of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 i wouldn't even worry about the insurance check.just have your lawyer take it outta her half of the sell of the house. Not bothered about the money (I know it doesn't bring happiness) and I cant claim it out of the house sale as there will be no money... Its the fact she is being difficult about signing the letter (power play) or she is trying to claim the money for herself. I had hoped after all this time she would be in a better place and not care about these games anymore, also the fact that the items stolen are all my personal stuff (wedding ring, watch, id bracelette etc) which she wouldn't have a claim over anyway... Still no signed letter from her. Spoke to insurance company, she hasn't spoken to them. Spoke to my solicitor, she said leave it until next Monday as the STBXW may be just being difficult... Link to post Share on other sites
coopster Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Not bothered about the money (I know it doesn't bring happiness) I had hoped after all this time she would be in a better place and not care about these games. Spoke to my solicitor, she said leave it until next Monday as the STBXW may be just being difficult... Money ..no it doesn`t bring happiness, it makes it easier thou. Who cares what place she`s in? Who cares how she`s feeling? Your talking about games again, She will play them for as long as you let her. " May be just being difficult " ? . Did you reply with " no s**t jose !! " Ah M8. Glad i haven`t got your sh**. Keep going, Don`t let her bully/ push you around! ( And she will ) ( IF you let her ) Have you tried just keeping on at her to sign it? every day? "signed the letter yet? " " no " , " Just sign the thing, like yesterday, " Keep going geezer, Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 I text her last night asking if she had signed the letter yet, she replied this morning that she was "waiting for a call back" and also wanted to know about the my daughters birthday and mothers/fathers day coming up. Following 2sunny's advise I have told her no changes to our schedule. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 Quick reply from her: She wants to know when I will see my daughter for her birthday, she wants the kids mothers day and she is sure they will want to see me on fathers day... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 22/02/12 19:00 called and spoke to kids. Afterwards spoke to STBXW and asked when she was signing the letter, she responded that her solicitor advised her to speak to the loss adjuster first.. I told that it was all my stuff and she knew what was stolen anyway, she said wasn't signing it until she spoke to him. Then asked why she hasn't sent me the fixture and fittings yet, she said she was waiting for the paper work from the agent, I reminded her again that it's not the agents job, it's the conveyances job and I have the paper work, I just need to know otherwise I will fill it in and send it off as per my letter, she said she would email over tonight what she would like. Then she asked why I wasn't willing to swap the mothers day/fathers day, I said no as I wanted to keep to the schedule. She then threatened me that unless I recomsider I can't see the kids and I can't see them this Sunday, I will have to take her to court! I said ok and then hung up. Checked phone, it didn't bloody record again!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts