Author jaymz Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 21/02/12 19:35 STBXW texts me that she needs to urgently talk about the eldest son 21/02/12 20:35 I notice text and call STBXW , I was out at the spurs vs stoke football match). She tells me that last week another boy called our eldest a "jewish b1tch" while they were having an argument. She had already reported it to the school but felt I should know. A week later? Wouldnt be anything to do with me going to parents evening tomorrow and finding out about this from the school rather than her? I just said thanks for letting me know and I will deal with it tomorrow. If its just 8yr olds arguing and nothing malicious, then I am not going to make it worse. I will take tomorrow afternoon off work and speak to the other kids parents. For the record, the STBXW is jewish but i'm not. They are not religious at all but are over sensitive to any anti-semetic slight. fun. Link to post Share on other sites
hwytech Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Bud I know how u feel u get a chance read mine "wife left living with another man" I wish u the best Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Bud I know how u feel u get a chance read mine "wife left living with another man" I wish u the best Thanks. will do. Hope things get better for you too Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Couldnt get the afternoon off, annoying. 22/03/12 19:00 Called kids. STBXW told me that the bank was in touch and unless "I" paid the arrears, we would both have a default payment on our credit score that would affect us for the next 6 years. I told her that these are the consequeces and hopefully she wont hold the sale of the house up any longer. She aksed when the completion date is and I told her it hasnt been set yet but should be soon. Went to parents evening: Both boys doing great, some minor things that they need to work on. So am very pleased with them!!! Couldnt speak to the headmaster but spoke to the deputy head, she assured me the incident was being dealt with and the headmaster will call me tomorrow and let me know what is happening. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Couldnt get the afternoon off, annoying. 22/03/12 19:00 Called kids. STBXW told me that the bank was in touch and unless "I" paid the arrears, we would both have a default payment on our credit score that would affect us for the next 6 years. I told her that these are the consequeces and hopefully she wont hold the sale of the house up any longer. She aksed when the completion date is and I told her it hasnt been set yet but should be soon. Went to parents evening: Both boys doing great, some minor things that they need to work on. So am very pleased with them!!! Couldnt speak to the headmaster but spoke to the deputy head, she assured me the incident was being dealt with and the headmaster will call me tomorrow and let me know what is happening. Wow you are a man of great patience. I would have told your STBX to F' off months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 Wow you are a man of great patience. I would have told your STBX to F' off months ago. Don't really speak to her that much, need to keep some civillity because of the kids.... Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 What are YOU doing to move forward? Has the house sold - is the divorce final? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) What are YOU doing to move forward? Has the house sold - is the divorce final? Well, TBH, I have been flip flopping around. Feeling sorry for myself one day and then training for a marathon the next. Not quite worked out which direct to go in... House: Should get an exchange date for next week and then a completion date for the week after, should be finalized this week. Also received a phone call from the estate agent, if the house sale doesn't go through, they have another buyer...! Divorce: Got the decree nisi, cannot apply for decree absolute until the end of march (so a few days to go). Currently negotiating which joint debts are to be paid off with the sale of the house. I have taken tomorrow off, going to look at some flats to rent and go buy a car. Have actually started and stuck to a new fitness regime now. Feeling better about myself but my face still looks like the back end of a bus Got a new haircut today. Have bought loads of new clothes. Been busy catching up with friends. Started cooking my own dinner and lunches from scratch with fresh ingredients. Once I have car will be a lot more social, maybe go to dancing lessons? Got head hunted monday afternoon!!!! So 2012 is looking much, much better than 2011 already! Edited March 28, 2012 by jaymz add new love for cooking 2 Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Sounds good, Jstub. Sounds really good. Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Sounds good, Jstub. Sounds really good. Wrong thread Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Wrong thread Sorry:eek:. That's what happens when you're speed-reading through threads!! Jaymz, my apologies. But I really was referring to your progress. you're doing very very well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 No worries guys. Picked up kids from STBXW, told her I wanted the kids next Wednesday which I can have two but the eldest is at a friends. She asked about the house, just said waiting for exchange and completion date to be agreed. I didn't really feel anything but was still nervous, I know why though... Had a really good week. I know where I want to move to, just need to find a place now. Met a girl that I knew from years ago, and wow she is great looking. Didn't have the guts to ask her out though...maybe next time. Got headhunted for a job, it sounds ideal and doubles my salary! Even if I don't get it, the fact I am on the radar for these roles is very positive. Started my new workout routine and stuck to it. Haven't really lost weight but can see my body shape changing. Ran 2 miles today, was 2minutes quicker than last week... So I signed up for a 6k race around London in 100 days for charity! Going to a friends wedding next week, don't really know his friends or family tat much but they seem really nice, hopeing to stay a few days there for more celebrating. Another friend has gone out to bermuda for a 2 year contract, if he gets it then I will have cheap holidays! The bastard is already sending me photos and videos of the island...! Life is looking up. 2012 is getting better and better! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted April 1, 2012 Author Share Posted April 1, 2012 What a day. Took the kids to the beach, there is a park there which we went to first and then spent the afternoon on the beach. I took their wellies so they could go in the mud. All was great until my daughter got stuck, then the eldest tried to help her, she ended up falling in the mud over & over again. While that was happening, the middle child had wandered further away and was stuck in the mud too! And he was falling over. A crowd had appeared now, no help but shouting out advice and helpfull stuff like "your missus is going to kill you when you get home!". So with tears of laughter in my eyes, nothing to do but to take off my shoes, roll up my trousers and wade out into the mudd and save the kids. Took them back to the beach and then back to the car. We laughed about it on the way back home and then when I chucked them into the bath! STBXW text later saying I could drop kids off at her mums, I said no she could pick them up. I then get a huge long text about how she is doing me a favour and I should be grateful etc and now I can drop the kids off as normal but let her know when I leave. I replied, see ya at 18:30 as normal then. Dropped kids off around 18:40.She is now wearing tops that show her new DD breasts. I told her that kids were bathed and I had washed their clothes which she can have back wednesday. She then wanted to chat about some things (while scumbag was in the kitchen) , like how the kids were doing great at school now etc and then she wanted to know what was so special about me having the kids next wednesday? I didnt say anything. Then she said she would drop them off at 9am and did I want her to pick them up? I said no, I would drop them off usual time, she said but I didnt want the car, I just smiled and said goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 that show her new DD breasts . Sir Isaac Newton's theory states that those DD breast will eventually need scaffolding to prop them up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 What do you do when everytime you go to drop the kids off, you get a text from the STBXW stating that she is stuck in traffic and will be 10/15/30 minutes late. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Adjust. Start telling her to one pick them up from your place. That way when she's late - you can still be going about your day whether she's late or not. She can make the effort to get them FROM you - at your place since she's consistently late. It may her way of control - in a passive aggressive way... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 Thanks great idea. I know its a control thing with her. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 So don't ask... Just make it a statement. Tell her - "since you seem to run late - start picking the kids up at my house at the appointed time". Whether she agrees or not... Don't take them to her place. Just stay home and have her drive to yours. If she argues - simply state "it wasn't a question - I'm just allowing you to understand you will need to get them from my place". Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I did. She has just picked them up. She started to tell me about going on holiday with scumbag next week, I just cut her off by telling her she needs to drop the kids off monday morning at 9am as agreed with plenty of clothes for the week. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Well. She may not. So just plan to do a lot of laundry if they only show up with a few clothes. What she sends is what they wear. When that happened - my kids started packing their own things. That way they had what they wanted and/or needed. Helped them too, to be responsible for themselves... And to think ahead and take charge of what they needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 jaymz: How can I say this with out sounding mean... because I can relate to the pain you have went through and are still experiencing.. but when will you stop posting here about this situation? I'm not telling you not to, it is probably therapeutic for you but in my opinion it seems like you will never move past it if you keep dwelling within it. Just my two cents. As always I wish you the best, cheers pal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 Well. She may not. So just plan to do a lot of laundry if they only show up with a few clothes. What she sends is what they wear. When that happened - my kids started packing their own things. That way they had what they wanted and/or needed. Helped them too, to be responsible for themselves... And to think ahead and take charge of what they needed. I dont mind the laudry, it was more to stop her from going on about the holiday, I dont really care to hear about and wanted to brush her off wih a strong responce. If she is telling me this stuff or teasing me (about the car or how many shirts i have hanging which need ironing) then I am not going to be jealous or react to it. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I dont mind the laudry, it was more to stop her from going on about the holiday, I dont really care to hear about and wanted to brush her off wih a strong responce. If she is telling me this stuff or teasing me (about the car or how many shirts i have hanging which need ironing) then I am not going to be jealous or react to it. If you don't want to hear about the way she spends her time away from you - just be honest with her! State simply - don't tell me anything about your personal time, I don't want to hear about your life anymore. That's honest! I did it to my exH - when I stopped feeding into what he was or wasn't doing - I felt more focused on healing! I felt more focused on me and my life moving forward. I felt free from his BS! When I didn't know - there was nothing to think about! Not thinking about it was an amazing turn for the better! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 What do you do when everytime you go to drop the kids off, you get a text from the STBXW stating that she is stuck in traffic and will be 10/15/30 minutes late. I know a few people who do that all the time. They think it makes them seem busy and important but really it just makes them seem shallow and childish. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 . She started to tell me about going on holiday with scumbag next week. Wow she really seems to feel the need to tell you how incredibly happy and great her life is right now doesn't she. Is she trying to fool you or herself? If someone's really happy deep down they walk around with a big smile on their face (you said your wife's is like a pinched a*se) and are too busy being happy to brag about it and play silly power games. Link to post Share on other sites
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