Is it over?

[jaymz]

Awww, Jay...her loss

 

You did not go wrong anywhere. Remember what it was like when you started dating? There were some who liked you and you didn't like and some you liked who didn't like you. That is all it is. You did not 'like" that one woman...weren't interested is what you said and better way to put it...there was nothing wrong with her. The chemistry just wasn't there. It is what it is, right?

 

Thanks Steen. I don't know, may have come on too strong, seem desperate... I thought things went really well, and she seemed to be in contact every day after then suddenly nothing. I had hoped she would have told me that it wasn't going to work rather than just ignore me, I think its immature and unfair. The other dates I had been on we had told the other within a couple of days whether it would work or not.

 

Carry on. You will find a woman who is worthy of you. Maybe just look at the dates more casually and when the right one comes along (for both of you), it will be great. In the meantime, make a lot of friends and have some fun!!! I always met the best dates when I was doing something I liked to do the most...racquetball, softball, dancing..etc. I always figured we would have at least one thing in common.

 

Feel better...it was just chemistry and she couldn't help it anymore than you could....no rejection. {{{HUGS}}}

 

Will do. Going to join a few more social groups and get my social life going again!

[jaymz]

25/05/12 18:35 Picked up kids from STBXW house, she had a huge grin on her face but said nothing. Took kids and left. When I got to my parents house I opened up my mail, nice letter from csa saying I now owe her £2,700.

 

So she has gone back on everything we agreed, being difficult with the joint debts (still not got a date from her) and is trying to rub my face in it. Means I will be living with parents for longer as I just cannot afford that sort of money and get my own place and keep paying our debts...

[Steen719]

jay...she is such a *itch...wow, really. Is there anything you can do about it? She is one person who needs the karma bus ride.

 

As I said..the gift that keeps on giving. It is good, though, that you do do have your parents to help you. I was paying bills yesterday and my son asked when I was going to buy my airline ticket home for July and I just told him later. But I was thinking to myself...oh oh...how? I am trying to save money to pay for the ungrateful b**tard's insurance (and back pay) if I ever get the bill, but I am dipping in to pay bills....college bills...vet bills...aye yie yie

 

So, anyway, go to the PO and low and behold a check from my brother...I called him and said what for??? To buy my ticket home..he wanted to make sure I could go and he had some extra money. I almost cried...just unsolicited love.

 

Anyway, just saying I am glad you at least have your parents to help you. It sure does seem like all of this crap is lasting forever, but I guess in the scheme of things, it won't be. It will just feel like it.

 

Try to have a good weekend.....go out with friends and enjoy yourself. Better days are ahead.

[jaymz]

Have put together a letter of complaint and sent to CSA, not going to accept this without some sort of fight. Do have some recorded conversations with STBXW so hopefully should be enough. Also going to put in how dishonest she is, doing benefit fraud and legal aid fraud - will report her for both of those now to help strengthen my case and as I have zero loyalty to her now.

 

She is still stalling over a round table meeting to discuss the joint debts, she goes on a holiday on 2nd June and wont be back until the 16th, so it means a meeting for w/c 18th June - another month of paying the debt!!!

 

Had a great weekend with kids. took them to the new area I want to live in, showed them a couple of flats I was interested in and they loved the one I liked!!! Also took them to several parks and the library to breakup the day. In the afternoon a BBQ around my brothers with my dad too. On the Sunday they played with the next door neighbour's kid then we made a picnic and spent all afternoon down the beach enjoying the 25c weather - doesn't happen much in the UK!!! my other brother and his kid joined us so it was another great day. Dropped kids off, not a word from the STBXW. I am a lovely sun tan colour now, probably didn't help! But have had loads of comments from people at work about how good I look now with the weight loss and a great sun tan.

[jaymz]

So, anyway, go to the PO and low and behold a check from my brother...I called him and said what for??? To buy my ticket home..he wanted to make sure I could go and he had some extra money. I almost cried...just unsolicited love.

 

Thats great, you must have a really great family to support you.

[jaymz]

in bold.. you knocked her on the head, but your CHASING the second one...why?? ( like i said , quick update,( hope your ok geezer ))

 

I really liked the first one but she has not contacted me in 3 weeks, I have left some texts and VM but nothing... shame as I really liked her and thought she really liked me. Her cousin is going to talk to her this week as he finds it odd too.

 

The second one was ok but I just did not find her attractive so let her know I wasnt interested a couple of days later.

[jaymz]

The round table meeting is now set for 22nd June.

 

Also got a mediation session through the post, not sure what that is for and can't get hold of my solicitor today.

 

Lost the flat I wanted, barsteward agent let it to someone else.

 

On a training course this week, should be fun.

[dreamingoftigers]

Wow, about the CSA!

 

Your wife reminds me if someone that I was friends with....

They walk around blaming everyone else and they screw up so much for everyone else while thinking that none of it should touch them. Amazing.

[jaymz]

STBXW went on a two week holiday with kids, scumbag, her parents and her brother family.

 

I went on two course over the same period to keep my mind occupied, and boy did it work!

 

Managed to call the kids once this week, the STBXW agreed to let me talk to them while they were away but so far has only done it once, on my eldest birthday and hasn't done it since. Its hard to get hold of them as they are on a cruise and when at sea, there is no mobile communications.

 

Still waiting for response to complaint I sent to CSA.

 

Went on two courses, I pass the 1st exam on the first course and had to wait for the results of the second exam - it was for PRINCE2 practitioner.

 

I passed the exam on the second course, got instant results - its for ITIL foundation.

 

Gathering evidence for the round table meting on the 22nd.

 

Have joined up ballroom dancing classes, start next Tuesday evening.

 

Now run over 2 miles, 3 times a week and do a basic workout afterwards. As its now being done regularly I am beginning to see improvements in my fitness and body shape!

 

Spent £1,000 on me, mostly clothes and a pair of sunglasses, felt great!

 

Still not found a flat I like yet, so stuck at the parents for a while longer.

 

Have a date next Wednesday, with a 24yr old!

[jaymz]

Your wife reminds me if someone that I was friends with....

They walk around blaming everyone else and they screw up so much for everyone else while thinking that none of it should touch them. Amazing.

 

Her mum is exactly the same, we used to joke and call her "Teflon". I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree?

[dreamingoftigers]

I can just see the steps for the whiny apple leaving the tree.

 

1. The parasitic apple sucks away far more then it needs in resources from the tree to the point where it begins to weigh more and more.

 

2. It actually starts to sap it's strength and kill the tree.

 

3. The weak branch can not take anymore and snaps, dropping the apple to the ground.

 

4. Apple sits on the ground wailing that the tree was never really there for it to begin with.

 

Oh, the places my mind goes....

[jaymz]

I can just see the steps for the whiny apple leaving the tree.

 

1. The parasitic apple sucks away far more then it needs in resources from the tree to the point where it begins to weigh more and more.

 

2. It actually starts to sap it's strength and kill the tree.

 

3. The weak branch can not take anymore and snaps, dropping the apple to the ground.

 

4. Apple sits on the ground wailing that the tree was never really there for it to begin with.

 

Oh, the places my mind goes....

 

LOL very good. But now the apple is on another tree and the cycle starts again?

[jaymz]

Still trying to get to talk to the kids while they are away on holiday. The STBXW is ignoring my texts

[2sunny]

LOL very good. But now the apple is on another tree and the cycle starts again?

 

 

So stop paying attention to what the rotten apple is or isn't doing.

 

 

Still trying to get to talk to the kids while they are away on holiday. The STBXW is ignoring my texts

 

So what did you expect? THEY are on vacation! Don't keep texting or calling.

 

The kids will call when they aren't busy having fun.

 

IF you were on vacation with them - you shouldn't be expected to be communicating with their Mom.

 

Stay out of it until they call you.

[jaymz]

Not bothered about the apple, well much less so now.

 

The kids may want to call me but the STBXW never lets them. They only speak to me when I call them...

[2sunny]

Not bothered about the apple, well much less so now.

 

The kids may want to call me but the STBXW never lets them. They only speak to me when I call them...

 

They are on vacay! You shouldn't expect to call them when they are away.

[jaymz]

I meant when they are at home with her, they ask her but she never lets them call me.

 

I just miss them very much. 3 phone calls a week and only seeing them once a fortnight is just not enough for me.

 

With the vacation they are on, I wont see them for nearly a month!

 

I love my kids very much.

[2sunny]

You will survive.

 

Get busy living!

 

Get hobbies! Do art work! Go to the gym. Do good deeds for numerous people every day!

 

Grow positive energy bigger!

 

Do not think about things YOU CAN'T CHANGE!

 

Change the things YOU CAN!

[andyg99]

I guess I am not ready for dating yet...

 

you're probably not... you have a lot going on in your life... if you need company hang out with friends who know your situation

 

the last thing you'd want to do is drag someone else into this, a woman who is in a good place herself does not want to start a relationship with someone who has the ex wife issues you have now -

 

there's no hurry, these issues will end and THEN you'll be ready for someone else...

 

BTW - if it's only casual that you want then make sure the women you date know this... but judging from your concern over the rejection from the woman you liked I think you want more than casual - you ain't ready...

[jaymz]

Thanks guys.

 

The STBXW did call last night and I spoke to the kids for about 20 minutes, so I am really pleased. Even managed to ignore the STBXW shouting and screaming in the back ground and her constantly telling the kids to hurry up and get off the phone...

 

My solicitor sent me an email asking for the the proof to be sent over to her and a copy sent to the STBXW solicitor before the meeting on Friday, so they cannot say they didn't have time to go through it.

 

Got an acknowledgement letter from the CSA about my complaint on the way they handled the case so far.

 

Didn't have the date Wednesday night, she had to cancel last minute but was very apologetic and wants to met up next Tuesday.

 

Went to dance class Tuesday night to learn salsa and meet new people, so few turned up they cancelled the class! None of the other dance schools in the area are starting new courses until September due to low demand over the summer - people on holiday etc.

 

Out tonight with father and brother, to watch the England v Sweden football match in London.

[jaymz]

Solicitor called, they need proof of her spending on the cards to show its joint debt, not just the outstanding amounts from the last month we were together, arrrrgh! move the goal posts!

 

Spent all day Monday calling the companies in question to get copies of past statements sent to me in time, don't think i will get them this week so Fridays meeting will probably be postponed again!

 

I just don't get it. Why are the debts considered mine when we are married? these are things we bought together over the years... one of the cards is just used for balance transfers to pay off the debt at 0% that one we keep in a single name so we can swap them when the 0% offer ends. Guess whose name its in now???? so guess who is going to be stuck with that debt???

 

Really pissed off today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[2sunny]

Solicitor called, they need proof of her spending on the cards to show its joint debt, not just the outstanding amounts from the last month we were together, arrrrgh! move the goal posts!

 

Spent all day Monday calling the companies in question to get copies of past statements sent to me in time, don't think i will get them this week so Fridays meeting will probably be postponed again!

 

I just don't get it. Why are the debts considered mine when we are married? these are things we bought together over the years... one of the cards is just used for balance transfers to pay off the debt at 0% that one we keep in a single name so we can swap them when the 0% offer ends. Guess whose name its in now???? so guess who is going to be stuck with that debt???

 

Really pissed off today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And THAT'S why it best to GET IT FINISHED as soon as YOU know it's OVER!

 

That's why - when I was IN THAT situation - the DAY WE separated - I printed EVERY card statement and the balances. I closed the cards in MY name so he (he was a spender!) couldn't charge anymore under MY name. I never used any cards from there forward.

 

He tried to stick me with HIS charges when it came time to finalize the divorce. I pulled out my statements right there in front of both our attorneys and said NO WAY AM I PAYING HALF OF WHAT HE SPENT! I told them I spent NOTHING and ALL the new charges showing were HIS ONLY!

 

There's good reason why I always say "shut down any and all joint debt!"

 

You will get stuck with half of "hers" if you can't show EVIDENCE!

 

Always keep a file for evidence!

[jaymz]

The cards were cancelled, she hasn't added to them since we split but proving the debt was joint before we split is what I need to do.

[jaymz]

20/06/12 18:55 Called kids, STBXW said they were in bath and to call back.

 

19:05 Called kids, did speak to eldest for 2 minutes before the STBXW got back on the phone. She demanded to know about Friday, I told her to speak to her solicitor, she said I cant talk to the kids and hung up!

 

I called back, and asked to speak to the other kids, she just said bye and hung up again.

[jaymz]

20/06/12 19:15 Call STBXW with my other mobile (which she suspects i record conversations on), she gives it straight to the kids that tell me the following:

 

"Mummy says we are not allowed to talk to you for a while"

"Mummy said bad words about you"

"She called you an idiot and a stupid man"

 

The stupid phone didn't record the conversation again!!!! arrrrgh! why me?