Author jaymz Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 28/06/11 Signed divorce papers and sent them to solicitor. I sat on them for two weeks, i really don't know why i did. felt very strange to sign such simple paper work, nothing special about it at all. She will never see the consequences of her actions and choices, I live day by day untangling our 15yr relationship together, dealing with my feelings as I still love the woman despite everything she has done, i cannot switch that off. Link to post Share on other sites
russell1968 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 28/06/11 Signed divorce papers and sent them to solicitor. I sat on them for two weeks, i really don't know why i did. felt very strange to sign such simple paper work, nothing special about it at all. She will never see the consequences of her actions and choices, I live day by day untangling our 15yr relationship together, dealing with my feelings as I still love the woman despite everything she has done, i cannot switch that off. Jaymz, I understand the whole still being in love thing, i feel the same about my wife even after all the **** she has put me through, i'm 7 months into my seperation and have also filed for divorce, Jaymz it does get better, Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 28/06/11 19:00 Bathing kids - they tell me that it was school sports day today and w went with scumbag. I am so upset that she would do something like this to me. i cannot believe she would use the kids this way, what totally and utter scum. I had no idea it was sports day. 28/06/11 22:00 Have a friend over for the evening, his kids go to same school. None of the mums talk to w as they don't think much of her. This is all to be expected, best to keep in touch with the school yourself. Don't worry your kids know whats what, they are not stupid. Let your wife get distracted with this loser while you get all your ducks in a row. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 She will never see the consequences of her actions and choices, . Chances are she will, they all do.. Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 28/06/11 Signed divorce papers and sent them to solicitor. I sat on them for two weeks, i really don't know why i did. felt very strange to sign such simple paper work, nothing special about it at all. She will never see the consequences of her actions and choices, I live day by day untangling our 15yr relationship together, dealing with my feelings as I still love the woman despite everything she has done, i cannot switch that off. The love for her will go Jaymz, it may take you a long time, it has taken 2 years for me, but I do not love him anymore, I feel indifference towards him, I never thought I would, if you go back over my old posts you will see many times when I said exactly the same as you, that I will never get over this and I can't switch my love for him off. You can and you will, it will take a lot of time and a lot of upset to go through to get there though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I am very down yesterday and today, especially after the sports day incident and signing those papers. Some days when I'm better I can almost see the end of the tunnel, I speak to people who have gone through this process and they seem much happier, it gives me hope. When I am feeling down i do not see an end to it at all. All i see is my wife of 15yrs running around with another man, organising her future, being with him and the kids - I am invisible, in the way, a burden, a speed bump. I just dont know what I did to deserve this. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 jaymz, You did nothing to deserve this. No one deserves this. All you did was give your heart to someone who didn't deserve it. Now she's spending her time focusing on her own selfishness and ignoring your needs & her kids needs. It will come back on her. She's stuck in a cycle and doesn't even realize it. I see it with my stbx as well. Her using the kids against you is the worst thing and you've just got to make sure that everyone (school, doctors, etc.) are aware of the situation and know that you need to be updated with any events, notices, etc. It does get better man...much, much better. You will have to deal with her, to some extent, for the rest of your kids growing up and you're handling everything with a solid head on your shoulders knowing that. She is setting herself up for BIG troubles down the road. The only person you're "invisible" to is her, and that's only because dealing with you probably makes her feel guilty and selfish, even if she won't ever admit that. Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Loni Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Ok, go read up on the laws of attraction.... STOP ACTING LIKE A WUSS (no disrespect intended) Why do guys think moving out is right when your W is the one wanting out of the marriage? Your words to her. "Wife I'm moving back in" better still, just do it, move yourself back in to the master bedroom. When she comes home, you say "Wife, I will not live in an open marriage, either commit to MC stop your affair with total transparency or move out of the house. I will not tolerate this disrespect" Anything less than a yes from her, pack her stuff up in boxes put them in the garage, tell her she has 2 weeks to find another place and you will even help with the moving (no need to be a jerk) All this needs to be said in a calm but firm manner. Can you do it,? she will get real mad because she's been used to crapping on you, now you are finally standing up to her BS... That is all very well and good but legally he cannot force her to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 All i see is my wife of 15yrs running around with another man, organising her future. Jaymz, in 6 months time they will be over. Thinking logically about it, some guy who you say is a sad little mummy's boy, isn't gonna want to take on the responsibility of 3 kids. It's all fun n exciting at the moment but like everything it will get old. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 That is all very well and good but legally he cannot force her to leave. Correct, but he has every right to stand up to this BS. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I just dont know what I did to deserve this. Nothing!! Bad things happen to good people man. Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 That is all very well and good but legally he cannot force her to leave. Of course he can. or rather his lawyer can. He just has to ask for sole occupancy of the house until the divorce is final. People do it all the time! Link to post Share on other sites
Hanfada521 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thank you very much Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Chucking her out of the house: I cant do this as we both are on the deeds. I can apply for an occupation order which can force her out of the home but this will cost a lot of money and I have to prove that she is dangerous. I would love to but cant, she would have to kill someone for it to be considered by a judge. The laws in the UK are way too much on the side of the mother. We have a "meeting" tonight, where we are going to discuss what happens next, finances, furniture etc. So will be interesting. I also found out today the name of the employee she slept with on that holiday last year and texted her the name, no reply as of yet. DOnt know why I did it, some sort of closure I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 My solicior sent me a copy of the latest letter from the w solicitor. Its two pages of complete and utter lies. I was so upset reading it. It attacks me on so many levels. Acuses me of harming the kids. Being violent towards the w in front of them. Using them against her. And another slant on the police arrest last week. She also confirms that she will have scumbag around the house as much as she wants. Totally unbelievable. Solicitor advised me to still meet with her and discuss what's needed but leave as soon as it becomes heated. Will go to parents tonight a compose a rebuttal, complete with photo evidence etc. Seems I am destined to be depressed this week. Going to germany tomorrow for a few days, going with 3 friends to watch the david haynes fight - still looking forward to it, she is not going to ruin my life anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Sorry about the recent turn of events - but yeah, go hang w/friends and have a healthy, good time. You deserve a distraction from the madness. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 They all lie, what a c***. I wonder if you could use your accounts from this thread in your legal defense? Just a thought, you documented the whole thing from your perspective. Yeah.. go watch the fight, watch some one get their face smashed in while having a some brews.. haha. Enjoy life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Thanks, will enjoy the trip. Got home, kids were up and not sorted as usual so bathed them and put them to bed. Started to get myself ready and she left! Should not be surprised Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Also got results back from GUM clinic, I'm free!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Sent her a text: "I cant believe you have refused to talk and left for the night", she replied "I didnt refuse, u were being unreasonable & i dont want you to b aggressive towards me again" I cannot believe the lies coming out of this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 What a piece of crap.. she is getting me angry. I can not stand fabrications - you are a good guy, just rise above it all. Keep being a good honest person and hold your head up high. She is a real loser. Link to post Share on other sites
Binster Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Get a voice activated recorder FAST. This cows gonna get you locked up if your not carefull. Be carefull. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 My solicior sent me a copy of the latest letter from the w solicitor. Its two pages of complete and utter lies. I was so upset reading it. It attacks me on so many levels. Acuses me of harming the kids. Being violent towards the w in front of them. Using them against her. And another slant on the police arrest last week. She also confirms that she will have scumbag around the house as much as she wants. Totally unbelievable. . She still going on July 12th? That's what solicitors are paid for man. I could almost guarantee that she would play that card. Point is there is no evidence. Imagine equally you could accuse the OM of the same thing, (not recommending this of course) and it would all be just hearsay. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Get a voice activated recorder FAST. This cows gonna get you locked up if your not carefull. Be carefull. Right now, like yesterday, cameras too, there are some really good shops in London for this. You need to cover yourself. I said again my big worry is OM and her planting drugs. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 My solicior sent me a copy of the latest letter from the w solicitor. Its two pages of complete and utter lies. I was so upset reading it. It attacks me on so many levels. Acuses me of harming the kids. Being violent towards the w in front of them. Using them against her. And another slant on the police arrest last week. She also confirms that she will have scumbag around the house as much as she wants. Totally unbelievable. Solicitor advised me to still meet with her and discuss what's needed but leave as soon as it becomes heated. Will go to parents tonight a compose a rebuttal, complete with photo evidence etc. Seems I am destined to be depressed this week. Going to germany tomorrow for a few days, going with 3 friends to watch the david haynes fight - still looking forward to it, she is not going to ruin my life anymore. Also think of it this way. If I was your W and was really worried about you harming the kids I'd call child services immediately. She hasn't done that because her solicitor has probably advised her not to as they will find no evidence. Also the very fact she's called the police for no reason already makes her case even weaker. Instead they've written a blustering threatening letter, because thats all they can do. The very fact that no action has been taken for such a serious accusation speaks volumes. Also when it's found out to be false it could land your STBXw into volumes of trouble. More likely it's to provoke you into doing something stupid, so rising to the bait is not an option. The solicitor knows this and has advised your wife accordingly. However as per my and Binsters advice please camera and recorder up. NOW Link to post Share on other sites
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