womenWantWhat Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I've been on 6 dates so far with a nice young lady (both mid 20's) I met but I'm not really sure how it's going. We have a great time on the dates but so far nothing (little peck kisses only) has happened physically. I've tried the 'come up for coffee' line, the later night my house movie idea, and other potential in's with no success. What gets me is that we keep going out and everything else seems to be going swimmingly. So I've deleted her number from the cell and plan not to call or txt for some time to give a little space but I'm really perplexed. I understand not wanting to get too hot and heavy right away but I feel like 6 dates is probably enough for a little tongue action, right? So I ask you, the internet, am I being too pushy here or does that sound weird to you too? Link to post Share on other sites
Celestine Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) So, did you initiate some french kissing with her? I mean, did you try and she didn't respond? If so, then just ask her, if she doesn't like it, if she's scared or whatever. If not, then you try. But make sure you don't pressure her or make her feel like she's at fault. Advice I have for you is one word: Communication!!! Edited April 27, 2011 by Celestine Link to post Share on other sites
Author womenWantWhat Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 I did try a little for the french kiss. On our last date I walked her to the door at which point I got the now customary peck, I went in for a second, much longer peck, and attempted to input some tongue. I only put it out there just a little and after getting no tongue return I gave way and backed off, wished her a nice night, and cried all the way home. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 After 6 dates, you're cashing in your chips because she won't get physical? The big question is if you have any feelings for her. If there is no spark and you have no desire to further this relationship, then move on. If you have any interest, try sitting her down and talking about it. Communication is the key here. Ask if she has any romantic feelings towards you and then gauge her response. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Dude... please tell me u really didnt cry... take it easy. 6 dates is nothing. give her a little more time. some people take time to get comftorable. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 What is the time span for these 6 dates? Link to post Share on other sites
Author womenWantWhat Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 After 6 dates, you're cashing in your chips because she won't get physical? The big question is if you have any feelings for her. If there is no spark and you have no desire to further this relationship, then move on. If you have any interest, try sitting her down and talking about it. Communication is the key here. Ask if she has any romantic feelings towards you and then gauge her response. I'm not cashing in my chips at all, that's why I'm here! I do think I have feelings for her. As I said before our dates have been great and leave me feeling really good about what's happening other than the physical part. Ill take your advice and just come right out with it and ask on the next date. Yessy21: no...I didn't actually cry SmileFace: we've been dating about a month. Each weekend and one time twice in one weeekend. So no one else thinks that's too long for some physical confirmation.....guess I was way off base. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 The way things are going she may kiss you in a month or 2 and sleep with you in about a year and a half. Seriously, if there's so little attraction from her side after a month it would be better to call it a night and go for a woman who does want you. Link to post Share on other sites
chuckles11 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) So no one else thinks that's too long for some physical confirmation.....guess I was way off base. I definitely think it's been too long. Three possible reasons that came to mind for her behavior: 1. Super traditional and thinks it's too early to kiss you. 2. Emotionally unavailable for some reason. 3. Not strongly attracted to you, but she is trying to warm up to you because she thinks you are a good guy. (This seems like the most plausible reason to me). Really, regardless of the reason, I think it's probably time to consider moving on. I get that you get along well, but there doesn't seem to be any chemistry. Edited April 27, 2011 by chuckles11 spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Author womenWantWhat Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 Ah! Good advice guys/gals, and thanks all for the input. If current/past dating is any indication of future success ill be back asking for advice at some point. For now ill take the the tips and write off this one unless she calls and asks me out, and even then ill prob take celestine's advice and just ask what's up with the physical part. Cheers all, happy dating. Link to post Share on other sites
alethean Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 By the 3rd or 4th date if you aren't having sex then she isn't interested enough to carry on a relationship. She is stringing you along. I'm sorry... But hecks naw I'm not having sex on the 3rd date with anybody! As for the OP, what worries me is that you tried to do tongue on your last date and she refused. I agree with Mitchell that you should ask her if she feels anything for you romantically. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I only put it out there just a little and after getting no tongue return I gave way and backed off, wished her a nice night, and cried all the way home. What age range are we talking? Crying from not getting any tongue on the sixth date is a bit dramatic, I think your overacting. If you want a girl that lets you jump her on the second date, then go date another girl. Otherwise enjoy what you have for now and see where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
alethean Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Then you haven't found the one. Better luck next time. Well, can't argue with you there. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 And if you can't find anyone who wants you then it is better to be a bitter nice guy on the internet. NOOOooooooooooo we have enough of those on LS as it is Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I need a larger audience for my misogynistic crackpot theories and you misandrists are just not sufficient. LOL. perhaps there should be a section on here specifically for that Link to post Share on other sites
mogul Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Wow, 6 dates and nothing? Perhaps she just wants to be friends. I honestly wish you the best. However, if I go on a first date and anything short of a nice, long, make out by the end of the date is worrisome for me. Unless I have serious feelings for her, no sex by the 2nd or 3rd date is a deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 If someone gives it up on the first date they are too easy & not worth your time but if they don't by the sixth they aren't worth it? LOL I know that isn't what is being said but after reading enough posts I get the impression people are looking for a cut in stone rule. Link to post Share on other sites
Author womenWantWhat Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 Wow, 6 dates and nothing? Perhaps she just wants to be friends. I honestly wish you the best. However, if I go on a first date and anything short of a nice, long, make out by the end of the date is worrisome for me. Unless I have serious feelings for her, no sex by the 2nd or 3rd date is a deal breaker. That's basically what my thoughts on the matter were. First a bunch of people chimed in on waiting, then more and more folk started saying too long. When I was still in college, basically we were sealing the deal by fourth date or there was no follow up interview. I feel like dating as a working stiff is a little different as women in their mid twenties are wise to the BS but I still felt like six dates was way off the radar. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 If someone gives it up on the first date they are too easy & not worth your time but if they don't by the sixth they aren't worth it? LOL There's a difference between no sex on the 6th date and no form of affection whatsoever after the 6th date (after a month!) Link to post Share on other sites
VicJay79 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 By the 3rd or 4th date if you aren't having sex then she isn't interested enough to carry on a relationship. She is stringing you along. Devil: I totally disagree. Every girl runs on their own comfort level. Some girls, south east asian, don't have sex right away. Its all about letting the girl decide what she wants in the relationship. I would suggest that a conversation be had regarding whether she likes you more as a friend or a boyfriend. VicJay79 Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 If someone gives it up on the first date they are too easy & not worth your time but if they don't by the sixth they aren't worth it? LOL I know that isn't what is being said but after reading enough posts I get the impression people are looking for a cut in stone rule. This makes sense ^ you need to figure out and ask her the questions she will be the one to answer you correctly. Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzari Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Wow, 6 dates and nothing? Perhaps she just wants to be friends. I honestly wish you the best. However, if I go on a first date and anything short of a nice, long, make out by the end of the date is worrisome for me. Unless I have serious feelings for her, no sex by the 2nd or 3rd date is a deal breaker.Many women don't want to have sex UNLESS/UNTIL you have those serious feelings for her. Depending on the situation, 6 dates may not be enough for her to feel secure in how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
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