justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I'm trying no contact starting tomorrow. I tried today and unfortunately I gave in and texted him, its been over 3 hours and he hasn't answered yet. Knowing him, he's probably gonna answer sometime tonight apologizing saying he was really busy I was doing so good. How do I stay strong and keep NC?! I want him to realize how much he's going to miss me when I'm not contacting him...I hope this works I don't know what else to do. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 i just finished day one and it was hard as hell... i stayed on here all day reading and finding support Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 I went 2 days and it was the longest 2 days =( but obviously i ruined it...hopefully I can do this. stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 did he respond to anything over those 2 days? Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 Well recently, I've been the one texting him first. So the conversation that day was about me going to roseland ballroom to see dj axwell with a group of friends and we had some extra tix so i invited him but he had 2 papers and a presentation to do, and he said i wish i could go, but have fun! even though I know he didn't mean it =/ i said thanks and didn't text him the next day thinking he would text me but he didnt, so I told myself I would start NC....didn't text me the next day....I got anxious and texted him even though i shouldnt have done that. I need to give him time to miss me Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedlove1 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 What helps me is this -> I think for every one time I want to text my ex, she wants to text me too. What I mean to say is that it is hard not just for you, but for him as well. Why do you think he takes so long to respond? When you text him you give up the higher ground and give him control of the situation. By not contacting him you can take back some confidence in yourself and show him that you do not need him to be content. You have to be strong, 2 days is nothing..2 weeks is nothing. It is a rough road ahead but a lot of us here are traveling the same route. I am on week 3 NC and each day is difficult. But I know it must be difficult for my ex as well. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 guessing she hasnt contacted you over those 3 weeks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 That's a good way to think about it...I just want him to realize how much I actually mean to him...some people don't know they had a good thing until it's gone. I've been there for him so many times, and I've gone out of my way for him because that's just the kind of person I am. I feel like if I don't talk to him...those things are going to eventually cross his mind, or at least I hope they will. 3 weeks is a reaaaallllllyyyyyy long time so congratulations...stay strong, it's a good feeling to know you have somewhat control Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 just saw your thing about roseland ballroom. went to webster hall a few weeks ago, you should check that place out if you havent already Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedlove1 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 guessing she hasnt contacted you over those 3 weeks? Well my situation is a little different. She wanted time to finish her work and to think about whether she wanted to work on the relationship. She said during that time we could chat. I said no no, NC..under any circumstance. So, I do not expect her to contact me. But I am sure she expected me to break that, which I haven't. BUT I know for a fact my best friend has had to pry the phone out of her hand as she tries to call me and constantly asks if she should call me..not to mention the snooping on facebook and trying to read texts messages between I have with mutual friends. I have an unusual glimpse into my ex's life through my best friend so I am able to hear about her struggling to keep NC. My point is, as you are struggling to keep NC there is a great chance your ex is struggling as well, whether you are aware of it (as I am) or not. Just remember it is rather impossible to go from constant contact to no contact at all and not feel anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 went on halloween...it was INSANE Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 Well my situation is a little different. She wanted time to finish her work and to think about whether she wanted to work on the relationship. She said during that time we could chat. I said no no, NC..under any circumstance. So, I do not expect her to contact me. But I am sure she expected me to break that, which I haven't. BUT I know for a fact my best friend has had to pry the phone out of her hand as she tries to call me and constantly asks if she should call me..not to mention the snooping on facebook and trying to read texts messages between I have with mutual friends. I have an unusual glimpse into my ex's life through my best friend so I am able to hear about her struggling to keep NC. My point is, as you are struggling to keep NC there is a great chance your ex is struggling as well, whether you are aware of it (as I am) or not. Just remember it is rather impossible to go from constant contact to no contact at all and not feel anything. that's very true....i wish i had a friend who i could find that out from, but i guess i'm gonna have to wait this one out. i posted my entire story (novel) earlier...and im basically waiting for him. but absolutely 100% going NC. his birthday is on may 5th...should I not even say happy birthday? Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedlove1 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 That's a good way to think about it...I just want him to realize how much I actually mean to him...some people don't know they had a good thing until it's gone. I've been there for him so many times, and I've gone out of my way for him because that's just the kind of person I am. I feel like if I don't talk to him...those things are going to eventually cross his mind, or at least I hope they will. 3 weeks is a reaaaallllllyyyyyy long time so congratulations...stay strong, it's a good feeling to know you have somewhat control 3 weeks is really not that long! It has flown by! And compared to a year long relationship, 3 weeks is a skip in the park. Most people suggested waiting as long as a month before trying to reconnect with an ex! Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedlove1 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 that's very true....i wish i had a friend who i could find that out from, but i guess i'm gonna have to wait this one out. i posted my entire story (novel) earlier...and im basically waiting for him. but absolutely 100% going NC. his birthday is on may 5th...should I not even say happy birthday? Honestly...I wouldn't wish him a happy birtday..it will just lead to more pain. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 confused-u strength and determination is our inspiration.thank you when i went i saw a show downstairs and having seen and heard the cds they put out i though the place wasnt that great. then i went upstairs and still wasnt so impressed. finally hit the top floor and it was sick. the lights on the side of the stage were nasty Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 see i knew it!!! he just texted me back all he said was "whaaaaaat uppp!!" i said hey...around let's see.....5:30 it's 11:30. NC. NC. NC. NC..... i wanna answer him Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 pretty much what i was getting from her while she decided that she wanted to break up with me. now im NC. she would take hours to get back to me then say i was doing this or that when i knew full well she always has her phone on her or at least checks it every hour or so Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 is this a good time to go NC? i mean i texted him today, he waited 6 hours to answer me...so from here on i just do not talk to him? or should i answer and give the vibe that im mad... Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 i didn't do that with her,i tried to keep my cool cause i knew i was on thin ice already.inside though i was steaming mad. just do NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 NC it is. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 it is screwed up when they do that right?i mean were not being petty. even if they don't want to be with us they should at least be honest. it shows a real lack of respect to do that. every once and a while fine but i was getting it day after day while she decided what she wanted to do Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 i'm going thru this everyday as well...that's why i'm starting to realize the best thing is NC. saves a lot of trouble. and by not answer, i sort of feel some power...although it sucks extremely. i always answer....me not answering him is gonna have him wondering (at least i hope) maybe he will come to his senses.....and by then maybe i'll be over him. i deserve way better. he's so lucky to have someone like me in his life, but people sometimes people let themselves get too comfortable and start to feel like they don't have to put forth effort anymore...and that's exactly what happened with us. it's completely one sided now...i think? i don't even know because he doesn't know how to express his emotions. he's 21...i'm 19. we're both young, but i'm way more mature than he is. once i was going out to a bar with my friends, and i told him because he asked what i was doing and he was like "nice! hump mad dudes!" (obviously joking) but his jealousy comes out...so maybe this whole NC thing will work. you seem like you deserve better as well. really take that into consideration and stay strong Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 thats what she said i was doing was not putting forth effort anymore. i really didn't know what to say cause i don't have money to go out all the time, or go on trips and stuff so a lot of the time she came over watched a movie, talked, had sex and then left the next day. but when im left feeling the same way why cant she see her fault as well. do you feel like you ever stopped with the effort? Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 that's my problem...i never stopped with effort! i ended up being the one making all the effort. it started out as him asking to hangout alllll the freaking time and it kinda was annoying...at first. until i really started to know him and realized he's different from other guys and to give him a chance. then....the tables turned. and now i'm the one asking to hangout and i look like an idiot chasing after him. i don't mean making efforts like to take me out all the time or go on trips....i mean just like let's say we haven't talked all day...it would be nice to get a text saying "hey, i've been so busy today, hope you're having a good day." like how long does that take to do 5 seconds? Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 yea thats what i was trying after we had a talk a little while back, but it was met with hour long waits for answers and really nothing in return. plus she could never ask anything about me or how my day was going. i just wanted to feel included in her life Link to post Share on other sites
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