hurtex Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Hurtex I know how much it hurts right now but maybe it is better that way. As I told you before my ex did answer and it just sent me back to square one. Because everytime he answered I thought "maybe he is thinking about me, maybe he misses me" but then I realized he wasn't. He was just answering because he probably feels sorry for me and my pain. Just go NC for your own sake. I KNOW how hard it is...I want to talk to him every second of my day but I'm doing this for ME. I love myself and I deserve better. I know I know I know... you are so right. At the end of the day though... it's hard to remember. We were so good... damn men and their commitment issues lol Day 1 of no contact... here we go again :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 We were so good and not we are so good. Stick on with NC. Link to post Share on other sites
MissMoni Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 I don't know if it is for everyone, but deleting my ex from FB was probably the best thing I could have done for myself. Was he angry? Yes. Do I still worry that he will use this to forget about me completely? Yes. But it was what I needed to do. Seeing what they're up to isn't helpful for us, it is hurting. Maybe one day when you are TRULY over your ex you can refriend them on fb, but chances are you'll be in a new (and better!) relationship and you won't even care...I hope to reach that point . But seriously, facebook is just torture, even if you take them off your newsfeed, which I did for 4 months. If you have mutual friends (we had well over 100), you will most likely see them pop up somewhere. Just delete them and so what if they get upset? Like I told my ex, "Facebook really isn't the only means of communication." So if they want to find us (which they probably don't) they will find a way. Link to post Share on other sites
admlfc Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Hi this is my first post on here. after 8 years of been together on and off me and my ex broke up 3 months ago over something really stupid, and all i have done is try my best to talk to her and tell her how much she really means to me. I started no contact 9 days ago and its killing me. All i want to do is txt her and tell her how i feel. Its making me scared that she will move on and find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
dunnowhat86 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 hi guys, i am so glad we are all in this together... Day 7 of NC. We broke up on friday. it is hardest at nights and early in the mornings. hate having the radio on because every song is about love and it stings so badly. have deleted him from fb and blocked him. left my phone in my student home - at the moment i am home, so i dont know whether he has text me or not. however keep checking my emails thinking maybe he writes? but i know it is for the best if he doesnt contact me because this is the 3rd time we break up in the period of 3.5 years, because he is insecure about what he wants etc. i guess he will never change. Have my finals in 2 weeks so really trying to study, however from time to time i check emails..... wish i knew what he is thinking or feeling.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 He texted me last night. I went 3 days without texting him, I knew he would come running back..... My friend posted a song on my facebook as a joke "peacock" by katy perry and her comment said "theme song for tonight!" ...we went out to some frat parties and bars. I think he saw that she posted that on my facebook and got jealous....possibly. He texted me around 11:30ish and said "How are you?" I answered =( but I waited an hour...and I had a little to drink, if i didn't i DEFINITELY would not have answered. But I just said "good. how are you?" and he said "good. where are you?" and i told him where i was and he said "nicee" <------whatever.... he called me baby.....right. then when he said he was going to sleep he said "i'll tty tomorrow goodnight babylove, sleep tight <3" with the heart?! what the ****. so mad at myself for answering...whatever if he texts me today i'm not answering. so mad at myself! "reallyconfused" still in this with you! just had a rough night i guess =/ mad at myself for answering Link to post Share on other sites
admlfc Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 hi Im in exactly the same situation as you really. And it is always comforting to know theres more people out there in this same situation. I'm on my 9th day of NC and i'm really fighting the urge to contact my ex fiance, today has been my most difficult day yet. I keep thinking that shes going to move on or forget about me soon if i don't get in touch with her. I also keep trying not to check my phone as often in the hopes shes going to start thinking about me soon and contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
admlfc Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 hi Im in exactly the same situation as you really. And it is always comforting to know theres more people out there in this same situation. I'm on my 9th day of NC and i'm really fighting the urge to contact my ex fiance, today has been my most difficult day yet. I keep thinking that shes going to move on or forget about me soon if i don't get in touch with her. I also keep trying not to check my phone as often in the hopes shes going to start thinking about me soon and contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfly22 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 (edited) This sucks so bad! Yesterday was my best day since our break up two weeks ago. I had an ok day and then went out with on of my best friends and her co-workers at night. It was a really good night, no tears and me thinking "well, he left, he decided to try things with someone else, I might as well move on". I was feeling really confident. But then today came. As I woke up I started thinking about the bunch of people I met last night and how I'm not even slightly interested in any of the men I met. I'm thinking well, the guy I wanted FOR LIFE was my ex-fiance. And I don't understand how he could do this to us. How he threw away 5 years to be with some girl who is "the complete opposite" of me (his words). Yet if I text him he always answers. When we broke up I thought by now he would be back. I thought time without me would make him realize how much we are meant to be together. Instead I'm doing NC and this is probably even better for him as he can focus on this new girl. Last week he asked me if he could come visit me today. I said absolutely not but now I secretly wished I had said yes. :-( It hurts so much to think I am losing him and NC is probably giving him the validation he needs to move on. I KNOW I won't change his mind with or without NC. I'm just ranting here. I know this is the right thing to do and I'm not breaking NC. I just wonder if he misses me even one bit. This is so sad. I miss him so much. Edited April 30, 2011 by dragonfly22 Link to post Share on other sites
hurtex Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 He wrote back...nothing major but said : Hey doll... i miss you and hope you are well too. Of course I automatically wonder if he's lying. If he's writing to not hurt me. If he's writing to string me along. But I was happy. I realized after that text that I have not been happy in over a month and I actually felt happy. This may make the vicious cycle start over again but I think I'm ok with it. I'm better when I have hope. I'm not ok enough with myself to give it all up. I am a believer in fight for the one you love. I know I'll regret it if I give up on this relationship too soon. I know I have to work on all of my alone issues too. Ugh still sucks buuuuut I am glad he text back. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 hurtez: Personally, i think it is unhealthy to hold on hope for someone who right now doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I will say this because I am once like you. Until I realize how broken I was. If you are happy just because he sent you a text, then in my opinion you are being strung along. Maybe I'm weird or I have reach the stage of I no longer care what my ex-bf will do anymore. I'm thankful that my ex-bf no longer contacts me. I'm pretty much preferred to be actively chosen and with a man who is committed in the relationship and willing to walk the journey no matter how many ups and downs with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 He texted me last night. I went 3 days without texting him, I knew he would come running back..... My friend posted a song on my facebook as a joke "peacock" by katy perry and her comment said "theme song for tonight!" ...we went out to some frat parties and bars. I think he saw that she posted that on my facebook and got jealous....possibly. He texted me around 11:30ish and said "How are you?" I answered =( but I waited an hour...and I had a little to drink, if i didn't i DEFINITELY would not have answered. But I just said "good. how are you?" and he said "good. where are you?" and i told him where i was and he said "nicee" <------whatever.... he called me baby.....right. then when he said he was going to sleep he said "i'll tty tomorrow goodnight babylove, sleep tight <3" with the heart?! what the ****. so mad at myself for answering...whatever if he texts me today i'm not answering. so mad at myself! "reallyconfused" still in this with you! just had a rough night i guess =/ mad at myself for answering After my ex broke up with me, he still called me all the baby names we had. Then, I went over analyzing the situation that "Oh he called me Dear, Baby, Love, Darling, Wife, he's coming back to me." But no~ they are just words, merely BS words. When there's not even a single sincere action and only overly-honeyed words, brush them off. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 justagirrl- don't feel to bad i broke it today also. had to,it was killing me. i went to my friends bachelor party this weekend and while i had an ok time all i could think about was her. we went out to some bars after and i just couldn't have a good time at all. and its not that there was a lack of girls cause there there were plenty there. and there were plenty of really beautiful ones there to, i just couldn't get her out of my head. all i kept thinking was how that was my partner when we went out, she was the only girl that was ever able to get me to dance. the whole night i was missing my partner. it just sucked. so i hit her up today and asked if i could see her and we could grab a bit later and she answered and said that shed get back to me and let me know. if she doesn't today i wont get upset but ill just ask her for one day next week. since im leaving for a month in the next week id like to sit and talk to her before i go. what i really want to say is that i know that right now she cant meet my needs of being available to me and i cant meet her needs of being the emotional guy right now. but im learning how and what i need to do for myself to make things right and put back together again. im not going to ask her to take me back but to see what she thinks about maybe starting again when i come back. i don't know. i just had to do something. its killing me to know that i had the perfect girl for me and now she doesn't want to be in my life anymore Link to post Share on other sites
hurtex Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 reallyconfused I totally understand. You did well holding back. If she says yes to meet you I suggest writing down your thoughts beforehand. I did that the last time I met with him and I left the convo feeling good about what I got out and that I said all I wanted to. It will also help you to stay on track with what you want to say. Good luck I hope she responds positively. I'm going to text mine sometime this week too :/ I don't know he responded to my last text... said he missed me so I'm just going to ask if he wants to get coffee or something. I'm not giving up yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 NC is so hard i'm really hurting because of this. i texted him yesterday and he replied "hey i'm doing a paper babylove" and i just said okay i'll ttyl...never texted me "later". I can't believe I texted him yesterday, I was so mad at myself...but the conversation we had the night before when HE contacted ME (after me being NC for 3 days) was really bothering me...he was talking like nothing was wrong and saying very affectionate things, which he hasn't done in a while. Is he trying to tell me something? I don't get it =/ I almost texted him today and stopped myself...started studying for finals, but it's on my mind no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 AND... he's never called me "babylove" ...i have no idea where that came from, but it happened 2 days in a row and I think it's kinda strange. He's called me "baby" but babylove is a little weird...especially right now because i think he's catching onto the NC. should I leave it alone? Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I was on NC with my ex for a month and he came back like nothing ever happened. Started with the baby, honey, sweetheart, punkin, etc. Didn't mean a thing. Just words. No action. Just throwing out the bait. Wanting to see if you are still sitting around tongues hanging, tail wagging for them. Keeping a lifeline to you for their own reasons but nothing significant enough to fulfill your need/want to get back together. Just game playing. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 AND... he's never called me "babylove" ...i have no idea where that came from, but it happened 2 days in a row and I think it's kinda strange. He's called me "baby" but babylove is a little weird...especially right now because i think he's catching onto the NC. should I leave it alone? JUST WORDS. Leave it alone. Aside from "babylove"...what else has followed that is of substance? Nothing. Again, just words. Don't fall for it. He's slapping on the honey to see if the bee will come a buzzin'. Don't read into words. They're cheap, infact they're free. Link to post Share on other sites
reallyconfused2542 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 well i got ignored. really not having to much of a feeling about it except disappointment. made a profile on a site and am i think im just going to go headfirst into dating again. at least thats what im hoping. i mean she couldn't even txt me to say that she was to busy to see me. no respect at all for me. i should see this and really remember how shes treating me. hopefully ill remember this in the morning and itll help me to get over her Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Overly-honeyed words. You deserve more than just these overly-honeyed words. if he really wants to be with you again, he will do more than just calling you all these sweet names. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 starting NC again today. i suck at this Link to post Share on other sites
xbexy87x Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Keep up the good work guys! Im on my 4th day :-/ Its been 4 months since we broke up and nothing had really changed and I would say I couldnt do this anymore and say we couldnt be friends. I said it about 3 times and I always broke it. He probably thinks everytime I say it I wont have the power to do it because I still have deep feelings for him and he knows it as I told him so he plays on that. But guys and gals everytime you do NC and break it, it gets so much easier as you feel more determined to do it the next time. Atm im thinking it as a game. See how long he can actually last without contacting me since he was the one who suggested that he cant not have me completely out of his life and wants to still meet up and be friends. Lets count the days until he cracks.. and if he doesnt? Well I hope ive moved on then :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 justagirrl: If you break NC over and over again, don't blame yourself for not doing enough. Every time you break NC, just start again until you get the strong courage to stick on to it. I broke NC 3 times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justagirrl Posted May 7, 2011 Author Share Posted May 7, 2011 I lose so much sleep over wondering if he's thinking about me...or waiting for me to text him it really bothers me a lot. my friends want to BEAT HIS ASS for me lol...i have't been the normal, fun, outgoing person that i usually am because of this. he's officially done with school forever on monday, i'm determined he's going to go back to being the way he was but i don't know why i let him make me feel like this, and i still stick around waiting for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 It's all in your mind . If you haven't been going out, go out with family and friends. If you haven't been eating properly, start to eat properly. Link to post Share on other sites
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