My friend is driving me insane

[flu]

Hello Love Shack. Sigh. Please bear with me, wall of text incoming. A little bit about myself, I’m 16 years old and a junior in high school. I’ve never really talked to girls much throughout my years of school. I just kept to myself and a few really good guy friends. One of my best friends had a girlfriend for two years or so if I remember correctly. I didn’t pay much attention to it during the first year and a half and I honestly didn’t really care seeing how I didn’t come into close contact with his girlfriend. This year I’ve stopped having classes with my best friend and started having a class with his girlfriend.

 

Things went pretty well at the beginning of the year. Me and his girlfriend became friends instead of just acquaintances during the first month of school. We didn’t really talk much outside of class, only when we needed help from each other on the homework and whatnot. As time went on we gradually increased how much we talked online and in school too. Didn’t really pay much attention to this. Fast forward to February and my best friend and his girlfriend break up. I felt so bad for both of them. The girl because she was so devastated by the break up and my best friend because of his immensely complicated personal life issues.

 

Me and the girl started talking more and more. I felt like it was my obligation to comfort her and try to help her out through her extremely difficult time. This was the first time I ever had serious conversations with a girl or extended conversations for that matter. I saw her transform from a very optimistic person to one of the most depressing. We kept talking and talking for hours on end usually.

 

I soon realized that my favorite part of the day was the class I had with her. I would stop listening in all of my classes and just day dream about her. I realized I had a crush on her. It was so sudden it was really scary; I have never felt the same way about another girl. Our conversations in school used to flow so well and naturally before I realized I had the crush on her. I would start to freeze up and things would get kind of awkward but that was only for 2 weeks or so, our conversations started to flow well again.

 

A few more weeks pass by and she learns that she is the only person I talk to online. It’s true, I talk to nobody else but her. She also tells me that I’m one of the few people she talks to. She’d tell me how she used to have so many people to talk to but almost all of them just walked out of her life and stopped talking to her. I promised her that I would stay in her life even after we stopped having classes with each other knowing that she hated promises. I just felt so sure about it, I had to.

 

I think both of us have grown attached to each other emotionally. I hope she isn’t reading this because she will surely know it’s me that’s writing this from this paragraph. She told me she had a dream about me, and how I got her pregnant… I always think of this. Surely she must like me if she dreams this? Surely she must like me if she talks to me so much? She’s told me so much about her personal life and I’ve done the same. We flirt a lot as well. Looking pretty good right?

 

Well, up until a month ago when my lunch period ended she came to my table and we walked together to the class we have together. Then after that class we would walk together to our next class, each separating on specific floor. She’s stopped doing this. She hasn’t come to me at all the past month to leave with me at the end of lunch. Once our class ends, she rushes outside and takes the same path I take but at a much faster pace leaving me behind. By the time I pack my stuff in my bag, she’s already out of sight when I enter the hallway. This confuses me so much and makes me feel really sad. Why is she avoiding me like this? I am 99% sure it’s because she is avoiding me, not to get to class early. She’s told me before that she doesn’t care if she’s late when we used to walk slowly together. It completely ruins my whole day when she does this.

 

Today something happened that has made me feel really crappy as well. I decided to take the train instead of the bus. My friend just told me a few hours ago that while we were walking towards the train station the girl was walking right behind me with this other guy. A guy she goes home with every day. She didn’t say hi to me even though we were 5 feet apart. This makes me feel like complete and utter ****, I can’t put it any other way. I’ve never felt this depressed before. I tried talking to her today online and the conversation was really stale. She went offline without even saying goodbye, that’s a first.

 

What am I supposed to do now? I can’t stop thinking about her and it’s driving me insane. I just don't understand her and don't know what to do, I've never been in such a complicated situation before! Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Edited April 28, 2011 by flu

[SunkistGirl]

This happened to me too.. And I felt completly stupid and confused. The only thing that made it better was moving on from it and finding other things to do and talking with old friends and waiting it out til she comes back around and explains herself or til you just dont even care anymore. You can even just send her an email or something telling her how you feel and leave it at that. And her actions will be what helps you decide your next move. =/ Hope this helped..

[flu]

This happened to me too.. And I felt completly stupid and confused. The only thing that made it better was moving on from it and finding other things to do and talking with old friends and waiting it out til she comes back around and explains herself or til you just dont even care anymore. You can even just send her an email or something telling her how you feel and leave it at that. And her actions will be what helps you decide your next move. =/ Hope this helped..

 

Thanks.

 

I'm trying to find other things to do but nothing can really take my mind off of this. It's 2AM and I can't fall asleep. I just can't stop thinking about her. I went to the gym with the hopes that I would forget about it temporarily. That didn't work out too well.. every time I needed I would just think of her and I'd get it.

 

I've just realized now how much control she has over my emotions and she doesn't even know. She is very kind and understanding, and I'm sure if I told her how much she is hurting me right now she would stop but I just can't bring myself to tell her. Telling her that would mean I would have to tell her she's my crush. I'm way too shy and afraid to say that right now.